Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.

How can men be less of a prick?

Page: (1)2

All Acting Regiment

15:49 / 21.11.05

So, ladies (and gents too, I suppose)- if you're the proud owner of one of the retarded clitori charitably refferred to as "a penis", how do you go about behaving in such a way that the womenfolk won't regard you as "a tosser", "a bastard" etc?

Or in less stupid terms, how should blokes behave?

Smoothly

15:57 / 21.11.05

1. Stop thinking about women as some mysterious, homogenous other.
2. Don’t get drunk and start conversations like this.

w1rebaby

16:03 / 21.11.05

3. Buy fridgemagnet a flat. Shows everyone how generous you are - the ladies love that in a man. Nothing fancy, one bedroom is fine.

Aertho

16:04 / 21.11.05

4. Hate bisexuals.

Ganesh

16:04 / 21.11.05

Don't generalise, and don't reduce gender conflicts (if that's truly what they are) to genitalia.

Ganesh

16:05 / 21.11.05

4. Hate bisexuals.

That too.

16:07 / 21.11.05

6. Cease self-abuse and acquire legitimate parentage.

pointless & uncalled for

16:09 / 21.11.05

Don't ever assume that being regarded as a tosser is related to you being male. This will carry you far in life.

Goodness Gracious Meme

16:10 / 21.11.05

Think about acts that you'd find prickish from any human you encountered. Avoid peforming these. Stop thinking about males and females.

Mister Six, whom all the girls

16:15 / 21.11.05

... I'm not convinced there's anything you CAN do, aside from act natural when praised for doing something women approve of.

Oh, and refrain from referring to any act of emotional outpouring as 'insane.'

Women hate that.

... crazy fuckers.

Char Aina

16:37 / 21.11.05

dont assume that crying needs fixed.

(this isnt only for girls or for actual crying. boys cry too, and sometimes when people shout they are actually crying.)

Ganesh

16:40 / 21.11.05

Sometimes when people shave, the hidden face is crying.

Char Aina

16:49 / 21.11.05

you have such sensitive skin for a hefalump...

i'll give you a flat...

TYRE!

fear my rusty nail, freeloader!

Alex's Grandma

19:51 / 21.11.05

Also, 'men'* should come and see the fab plays what I and another, far more respected, Barbelith poster have nearly finished, which will presumably be staged in the back room of a pub in London somewhere sometime during the new year.

Unless, that is, there is a (much-needed, in my opinion,) 'new broom' at the RSC between now and then.

* 'Women' should do this also.

Ganesh

20:09 / 21.11.05

Belatedly, it occurs to me that "men" might be less of "a prick" if they try being individual pricks.

Tom Tit's Tot: A Girl!

20:32 / 21.11.05

if you're the proud owner of one of the retarded clitori charitably refferred to as "a penis"

I think you'll find that they're overdeveloped clitori, not "retarded" ones.

Smoothly

20:36 / 21.11.05

And belatedly it occurs to me that this question only applies to men whose penis could be described (charitably) as a retarded clitori[s]. In which case less of a prick is a funny thing to strive for.

Smoothly

20:38 / 21.11.05

Ooops. Yes, or as Tom Tit puts it.

Tom Tit's Tot: A Girl!

21:29 / 21.11.05

You are forgiven, my child.

*blesses Barbelith via wang*

quixote

01:14 / 22.11.05

(Anatomy lecture. There will be a test on Friday.

Clitoris and penis are homologues, ie the same basic tissue in a different shape. Result: the clitoris has the same number of nerve endings as the penis, but concentrated in a smaller area. To get the full significance of that, compare the sensitivity of the middle of your back and your finger tip. For instance have someone press one, two or three fingers between your shoulder blades. Try to feel how many fingers are there. Now try the same thing on your finger tip. Same nerve endings, more concentrated in one than the other. So-o-o, if we have to fling derogatory epithets around, calling a penis a retarded clitoris is not that far off the mark. Personally, I think they're both rather good at what they do.)

As to how not to be a prick (or, for that matter, a cunt), I just wanted to second the comments above that boiled down to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". . . .

Smoothly

01:23 / 22.11.05

Hm. But what if you like to be be flogged with a rubber hose?

Ganesh

01:28 / 22.11.05

Or have your testicles sucked?

matthew.

03:50 / 22.11.05

This thread's giving me a boner with all this talk of clitoris and penis. Barbe-orgy, anyone?

Spaniel

07:10 / 22.11.05

Ugh, I think this place is incetsuous enough, thanks.

Cat Chant

08:24 / 22.11.05

As I understand it, clitorides* are roughly the same size as penes,* but most of the erectile tissue is neatly tucked away inside the body (this is why women are sometimes referred to in novels as getting an ache in their 'lower abdomen' when turned on, also why the vaginal G-spot exists - it's a place where the internal bit of the clitoris is close to the vaginal wall) rather than dangling free.

*And -i is only the plural of Latin nouns ending in -us.

Haus Of Pain

08:27 / 22.11.05

Speyew.

Ganesh

08:41 / 22.11.05

Ugh, yes. Female sexual anatomy - bleeeeuurgh!!1!

(Bit less of that kind of thing would diminish one's prickishness, I feel.)

Haus Of Pain

09:21 / 22.11.05

oops,

last post was a follow on from Boboss. God that looks bad!

Just off for a pint & a fight.."Oy, caannt, you just spill my bird..."!

Ganesh

09:55 / 22.11.05

Ahh, okay. Ignore my stroppy clit-defence.