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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

Space Cadets

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21:39 / 09.12.05

Yes, the Fonz high-fiving Rambo was funny, but the whole thing has convinced me I'm right that they're all compulsive liars and fantasists. No-one, though, will really be hurt, which is good, as they have no idea what's going on or even who they really are. Witness the dual fake drama of the cock on the textbook: "Oh, I spent ages writing that out, that's awful!" "Wasn't me!"
Sigh. Don't care about them at all.

PS. I have it on an authority I rate as unimpeachable (PM me for details if you must) that the shuttle simulator is so damn wonky that only an idiot could be taken in by it. It can't elevate to more than 25 degrees and at night the stars are made to go out by pulling blinds over the windscreen.

Oh, and doesn't the airfield look a touch Masonic? Ok, they all do, but y'know, quimper might come back, so I need to give him something to talk about.

23:46 / 09.12.05

Panning out pretty much as expected so far, isn't it. One thing that I hadn't thought of - and I think is pretty smart - is the way they're focussing on the stooges. Seeing it through their eyes - how difficult it is not to laugh when you can see what's going on, how ridiculous it all seems when you're in on the joke - really gives it another dimension. It also means that they're not humanising the victims so much. So far, no effort has been made to have us relate to any of them (3 eps in, how many of them can you even name?), so we're not going to sympathise with them as much as we might. Seeing the process through mist-free eyes also makes it easier to make them appear stupid and grasping (rather than naive and excited) as discussed above.

I've heard the same things as cube about the flimsiness of some of the set-ups in the later stages, but of course Channel 4 are going to be very keen for us to look at it like that.

I'm still not convinced that no one will be hurt. Unless sudden, acute, crushing disillusionment could never count as harmful.

Credit where credit's due though, they're being quite audacious. Having a lecturer tell them that Minsk was named in 1958 after a space monkey called Minsky was brave, I thought. They're certainly not playing a cautious game, considering the investment.

23:58 / 09.12.05

I'm still not convinced that no one will be hurt. Unless sudden, acute, crushing disillusionment could never count as harmful.

Yeah, had any of them known beforehand that they would be going to space, I could see that. But the first programme made it very clear they are all people who will do anything to be on the show and not one of them had any idea space would figure in it.
The touch I thought was very nice was to have each of them nominate a person they trusted above anyone else. This person was then filled in on the details and asked if they thought it was a good idea for the contestants to continue. They all apparently said yes. If anything, it's the way the producers seem to have thought it through that is beginning to surprise me. As long as they pay their bills, but that's a story for later.

00:30 / 10.12.05

I don't see why it matters whether they were told at the audition stage or later that they were going into space. They're clearly very excited about the prospect now (more than excited in some cases, some see this as the greatest thing they will ever get the chance to do in their lives).
Getting permission from one person they really trust doesn't assuage all my doubts either. You don't have to scroll far through your EPG to see people being cunts to people who trust them.

00:54 / 10.12.05

Yeah, but I get the feeling these people would be equally psyched about going to Space Mountain as they would real big vacuumy space. Or even getting the chance to meet Kerry Katona. Or something. What they signed up for was a TV show, not a life-changing experience.

01:15 / 10.12.05

Do you honestly? And when you say 'these people' do you mean these people in particular (cos, really, I've really not seen enough of them to make a judgement about something like that). Or do you think that anyone who'd apply to be on a reality show of an unspecified nature is sure not to discriminate emotionally between being at Space Mountain and being in space?

Sure they signed up for a TV show, but what they've ended up being offered is a lot more than that. They seem to have taken that on board. They certainly seem more excited about going into space than being on TV. In fact, there isn't much evidence of the usual Big Brother-style performance at all. See Doodlegate for the depths of attention seeking they've sunk to.

14:15 / 12.12.05

So anyone else thinking that the original rumours are true and that all the space cadets are in fact actors and it's the producers/crew that are being fooled?

I guess we'll found out tonight as it's the flight tonight right?

All the cadets seem just a little fake to me, this might be due to them all being very familiar with reality TV which is very possible.

There's also this -

Beardy Scot gives Blood Shocker

The Gordon Ramsey add has the Scottish guy as the donor, not to say that the guy has been doing ads and applying for various reality shows which is common but I still think there's something a bit fishy about it all if you ask me.

15:02 / 12.12.05

I’d not heard the rumour that it’s the producers and crew who are the object of the hoax (How would that be done, for one thing? Who would be orchestrating it?), although rumour continues to abound that it’s the audience who are being hoaxed (into believing that Channel 4 would hoax members of the public into thinking they were going into space).

But that just makes no sense to me. What’s your motivation? And what’s the pay-off? It would be kinda self-defeating, wouldn’t it? If the joke is ‘Ha ha! You believed that we’d con 10 members of the public into thinking they were going into space. As if!’ then that’s rather undermined by the fact that they were conning 3 million members of the public into thinking they were going to send members of the public into space. If you see what I mean. The fact that they were pulling a hoax justifies a belief that they were pulling a hoax, no? The reveal would fall rather flat, wouldn’t it?

The Blood Donor ad makes me less suspicious if anything. If they wanted to be sure that no one in the country would suspect the contestants were actors – they’d probably rule out anyone with any prior exposure, let alone someone appearing in a contemporary ad campaign.

Will be interesting to see tonight's show. I always imagined they would have to use a centrifuge of some sort to simulate the sensation of acceleration at take-off. Could they possibly achieve enough of an effect by just tilting the simulator?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

15:09 / 12.12.05

But that just makes no sense to me. What’s your motivation? And what’s the pay-off? It would be kinda self-defeating, wouldn’t it? If the joke is ‘Ha ha! You believed that we’d con 10 members of the public into thinking they were going into space. As if!’ then that’s rather undermined by the fact that they were conning 3 million members of the public into thinking they were going to send members of the public into space. If you see what I mean. The fact that they were pulling a hoax justifies a belief that they were pulling a hoax, no? The reveal would fall rather flat, wouldn’t it?

No idea if it's true or not, but I'd love it to be. Kind of like saying to the audience "you're all a bunch of cunts who like having a laugh at the expense of the gullible". Seems more and more implausible the more I think about it, but I would so love it to be true.

15:21 / 12.12.05

Not sure about the production team rumour, unless they've been filmed all the time under the impression of an extra show/DVD - but then there's nothing really major happened so far (as far as I know I've only seen a couple) - unless of course it all goes tits up tonight and someone freaks out in the capsule...

Yeah your probably right about the ad too, just shows that there seems to be a small group of people that try to get onto all these shows.. I saw 2 of the girls from the model show on Pop idol for example.

Also read somewhere that apparently the screens showing Space aren't going to fool anyone for one second.

I'll watch tonight but it's no Ghostwatch.

15:28 / 12.12.05

Kind of like saying to the audience "you're all a bunch of cunts who like having a laugh at the expense of the gullible".

And you imagine them saying this how, Stoatie? In a kind of laughing-at-the-expense-of-the-gullible-cunts way?

19:22 / 12.12.05

I am a bad person but I am addicted to it and am finding it hilarious. I could give that arrogant, bumptious Johnny Vaughan a good slap though. He titters away at the gullibility of the aspirant cosmonauts as if he has a PhD in astrophysics. Eejit.

Glad they picked Paul and Billy though. Smart arses! Cheryl was too nice to be further duped. She was howling when they retold the tale of Laika the cosmobitch.

19:35 / 12.12.05

Oh, and doesn't the airfield look a touch Masonic?

Rendlesham is pretty famous as a UFO hotspot.

08:28 / 13.12.05

It would be entertaining if the payoff was that Johnny Vaughan strolls cheerfully into the capsule in the final episode, and in his inimitable upbeat manner, explains that all of their hopes and dreams have been crushed and they've been the subject of countrywide humiliation. Then suddenly realises that the air lock has been closed behind him and he's stuck in a sealed capsule with these angry and confused people who take bloody retribution on his festering media hide for 45 minutes.

08:28 / 13.12.05

The plot thickens.....according to the C4 website our Blood donor 'Ryan' (??) is an electrician.....yet he seems awfully like an actor in that ad.....

Also, having just read through the profiles on all the 'contestents' noticed that five of the nine are cited as saying they are frightened of the water/drowning/being trapped in a swimming pool....which strikes me as rather odd

08:58 / 13.12.05

When the reveal does finally happen - I think it will be met with "gotcha" style reaction, rather than anger or disbelief. Even the actor who went into space the other day was saying he wasn’t sure it was real so god knows how that’s supposed to be encouraging the others.

They will get the joke pretty quickly and laugh off any misgivings they have about the whole thing. Sentences starting with “I thought it was a bit funny that…” and “I wondered why…” And so on will fill the rest of the show before Johnnie rounds it all up with a “aren’t we brilliant – it was a total success” speech.

09:20 / 13.12.05

Why did he seem awfully like an actor, maenad? Because he was acting (or posing) instead of wiring a ring main? The people in ads are rarely full-time actors; it sounds perfectly plausible to me that he’s an electrician.

I’m aware that I’ll look very foolish if this does turn out to be a big hoax on the audience, but these conspiracy theories irritate me. Partly because conspiracy theorists never admit to feeling stupid when things don’t turn out as they suspected.

I think Jub is right about how the finale will go down. I expect we’ll hear “But it’s been a brilliant experience anyway” a lot.
But I still wonder how they will feel in the days, weeks, months afterwards, as they process the disappointment and deal with the public mockery. Something along the lines Gypsy suggests is really what I’m hoping for. And given the potential for an explosive reveal, I don’t think we can rule out some primitive responses. There may be strong language.

09:27 / 13.12.05

Smoothly, these conspiracy theories irritate me too, in fact irritation is probably too mild a word.

Of course we're not being hoaxed, of course it's not an attempt to hoax the crew, it's what it says on the bastard tin. Why does this need explaining?

10:20 / 13.12.05

Because everyone has to have a g*m*pl*n.

10:21 / 13.12.05

I was just passing on something I'd read elsewhere that's all. Although to be honest I'm sure I've seen a few of them somewhere...plus some of the comments seem a little too scripted with all the mentions of it being like a movie set and ...

Yeah it'll be real, they didn't seem to impressed though did they with being in space? Bus ride to Inverness if seemed like to me, I get more nervous/excited when I fly.

I would have been straight out of there as soon as it stalled and they decided to try again. I wouldn't have even gone to the base in the first place. I'll go to space when someone builds an elevator.

The Natural Way

10:22 / 13.12.05

Oh, come on, guys! Surely this all hinges on the moment we cut to the camera-man's face as he realises he's been scammed?!? Oh, the hilarity!!111!

10:24 / 13.12.05

I did like the actors "give me £250,000" line he should have stuck with that... AHA! Probably another little thing thrown in to mess with the production crew - we're all being fooled!!!! You'll all see!!

Moth stopping them open the screen indeed.

10:38 / 13.12.05

They didn’t seem that impressed, did they. Although it is all deeply unimpressive.
I watched some of the live feed last night and they’ve already come down to Earth a bit following Billy’s “How important do you feel right now?” line on their approach to the shuttle.
Charlie and Paul spent about 2 hours making a chess set out of paper and felt-tips, and Keri and Billy complained about the food. It seems on this show, everyone has to have a Compl*n.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:45 / 13.12.05

Apparently the ratings are awful- the first one got an 11% share, which sounds a lot (to me, anyway) but apparently is nowhere near what they were hoping for.

Twig the Wonder Kid

10:47 / 13.12.05

Occams razor - the simplest explanation is probably the right one.

Which would be easiest (and cheapest) to do - pull off an ambitious hoax on selected members of the public, risking any number of unknown factors that could bring the show to a premature conclusion, not to mention subsequent legal action if any of them feels they have been abused by the program. (as happened to great cost in that other reality tv show).

Or just do it all with actors.

It's not a conspiracy theory, it's just a tv program. It's only as dishonest as pretending to have saved Gordon Ramsays life to get on telly. It doesn't even require any "reveal" at the end, just as you don't expect the cast of Eastenders to take a bow after each episode. It's just a stupid tv show, the only fools are us for wasting our lives watching it.

10:49 / 13.12.05

9% share last night. Couldn't compete with the spectacle of Doctor Who shagging Shaun Of The Dead's girlfriend.

10:53 / 13.12.05

What would be easier (and cheaper)? Employing legions of actors, writers and directors to mock up an East London square to make a two and a half hours of original drama a week, or just film the goings on in a real-life square full of real life people. EastEnders must be a reality TV show. FACT.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:58 / 13.12.05

So nobody's watching people not going into space?

My brain is turning itself inside out as we speak.

12:03 / 13.12.05

No Stoatie, 2.2 million fools are watching it; people who should be out, living life to the full with real live tigers.

paranoidwriter waves hello

19:55 / 13.12.05

Wheels within wheels, and tricks within tricks aside; if the con is true (ahem), and as the actor and others have commented, it is pretty interesting that their "subconscious selves" seem to be telling them that the whole scenario is fake. e.g. "It's like it's not real." Also, didn't another hopeful cosmonaut start talking in her sleep earlier on in the series, saying something like, "They're not foreign... they're not foreign..."? (I've missed most of the series, so...)

To be honest, the whole concept makes me feel a little uncomfortable (can't quite express why), and it reminds me of the short-story by J.G.Ballard: "Thirteen to Centaurus".

20:06 / 13.12.05

How long is this set to run? will they cut it short ad fill the air time with repeats of father ted? i'd watch that

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

21:27 / 13.12.05

Just out of interest, what is a good audience share? I'd have thought 11% was pretty good myself, but clearly not enough to justify the expense of making the show, by the sounds of things.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

21:29 / 13.12.05

(BTW... I never said people who watched it were fools... just that I thought it was cruel and therefore wouldn't be watching it myself).

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

21:34 / 13.12.05

(Although possibly "a bunch of cunts" was a little harsh).

22:32 / 13.12.05

BTW... I never said people who watched it were fools...

Sorry Stoatie, I wasn't really aiming that at you. It was Twig the Wonder Kid who said "It's just a stupid tv show, the only fools are us for wasting our lives watching it."

I don't think the ratings are that terrible, incidentally, although they're probably not as good as they hoped. A 10 - 12% share is indeed pretty solid for Channel 4 at that time of night.

I neglected to record tonight's show. Did I miss anything? Are they all still buying it, or just shy to be the first to challenge?

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