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I hate the Holidays. Blindly, passionately and with sharp edges that poke out its eyes if they get near me...
When I had cable, however, I saw a few specials that were made popular in my childhood (spent in a dark time called the seventies ruled by a mad wide-lapelled fluffy-haired God with shiny teeth) which, upon closer examination, are a trip.
Example one:
Rudolph's Shiny New Year
Rudoplh is recruited by ex-vaudeville-star Father Time to find the New Year's baby. Baby New Year was born with big ears, the bane of his existence as they cause any and all who see them to burst into laughter, sending the baby in the other direction... alone... as apparently everyone laughs blind to his plight.
Rudolph takes a long dark moment to reflect on how he knows what it's like to not be wanted... to be kept out of New Year's Games (anyone want to name a New Year's game an infant could take part in that doesn't involve a sacrificial dagger?). In this moment we can see how scarred and dangerous Rudolph has become.
Baby New Year is hiding out in the Archepelego of Past Years where each previous personification of time has retired. On each island, time has been frozen and a representative of thay year reigns in eternity. To add to the weirdness, a killer vulture is after the Baby called Eon. Eon wants to get the Baby New Year so that time will not progress, apparently.
I'm not sure what that means.
Rudolph is joined by a taking whale named Big Ben, the Man in the Iron Mask, Ben Franklin and a Cave Man who insists on holding a daisy in his bone scabbard instead of a knife and enjoys musical numbers.
The whole mad episode ends with a palpable line:
"If I can deliver presents all around the world in one night," Santa claims, " I sure can get you back to Father Time's Castle in a few Bongs!" |
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