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I moved closer to work, and walk.
That way, I avoid BB style paranoia, the paranoia that I am going to get blown sky high by some fundie dickhead with a grudge and a backpack full of explosives, I avoid shitty gnarly bus drivers who wished they were prison wardens but couldn't get the gig, I avoid ignorant fuckbake Londoner's who refuse to give up a seat for a guy carrying a small child, even when the bus is lurching around all over the place, and fucking hell, I haven't used the Tube for at least 18 months anyway - it's a fucking disease ridden, environmental disaster, avoid it at all costs.
I avoid ill people, smeezing in my face, I avoid the lurching, crappy start-stop shitty bus rides driven by idiots with absolutely no understnading or at least care for the laws of inertia, and I get to talk to my son all morning and on the way home in the fresh air. It's fucking marvellous. Plus, walking takes me just 20 minutes longer than a bus ride, due to the shit roads in London anyway.
So, if you can, I highly recommend it. Move near to where you work, like about 3-4 miles away. It's green! It's healthy! The Conspiracy don't know where you are, whree you're going, or where you've been!
Failing that, fuck Oyster. Buy or obtain a weekly Bus Pass once per month...people often leave out of date one's lying around when they expire.
Scan it in to Photoshop. Obtain plenty of other cards. You need them for the numbers and months. Scan them in to Photoshop. Use the various magic cutting and pasting tools to make your own weekly Bus Pass.
Print it out on appropriate card...Insert it in your card wallet thingy. Flash it to the frankly bored senseless and checking no-one gets on through the wrong doors bus driver.
Grin smugly at your M4D 4N4RCH15T 5K1LL3!!
(You may want to always carry £1.20 in case an on board inspector turns up and wants to have a really close look. Just pay a single fare).
Come on people, get with the goddamn Century already. |
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