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Barbelith Personals

  
 
Charlie's Horse
08:04 / 14.10.05
Name
Umm. To your left.

Picture:


Star Sign
Libra.

Last great book you've burnt
I've actually never burnt a book, but I think the last case of traumatic book death I caused involved a copy of Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead and a .22 caliber rifle. Good times.

Most humbling moment
...
Almost anytime I read something personal that I wrote a year or more ago. Poetry, journalish stuff, that sorta thing.

Five things you can live without
1. Video games. At least, that's what I tell myself, before playing more freeware Star Wars flight sims. Or Cities.
2. My apartment's favorite hobby - gathering leaks.
3. Every bar on my block. Seriously. If you drive through downtown, looking for my place, just look for the sorority girls vomiting in the streets. That's my front lawn.
4. Cable/satellite/local channels. Been living like that for a while. Real damn nice.
5. The desire to smoke cigarettes, which flares up occasionaly when I get drunk.

Celebrity you'd like to put in a wicker man, and toast
Frankly, if most all 'celebrities' hopped in a wicker man tonight, I probably wouldn't notice for a long, long time. If I had to pick who went in first, I'd probaly go with every single gossip whore working for People magazine. Not celebrities, but they do manufacture them. I mean, "Kirsten Dunst's Hair: Love It or Hate It"? Perhaps there's something we can talk about that matters, maybe?

Someone you'd like to kick the shit out of
Ralph Reed. Not just for being a piece of reactionary, hypocritical scum. He's also really, really creepy looking.

Best lie you've told to God
I, uh, I really won't ever do it again. And I didn't even mean to this last time, either. Swear.

Things you'll find beneath my bedroom
Hopefully not too many critters. My super's office, which is where one leak in my apartment drains to. Proving the existence of karma.

What I'm looking for
Good people. Things that scare me, so that I might leap from their heights and try to land on my feet. The sentence describing my entire day written on the sidewalk cracks in a language I almost know. A cup of strong coffee that won't give me heartburn. Good blues and gospel music. Ballroom dance, especially swing. An alternate dimension in which my country isn't fucking up everything (coming soon!). The words that help others see as I do, if they care to.

In other words, hot chicks. Who, like, want me and stuff.

Why you should get to know me
Well, you already made it this far through my profile, right? I am damn funny, though I don't know if that translates at all into a straight text format. I've started giving a shit. I'm also pretty hot, as my photo reveals. And, frankly, there's no one else on this thread.
 
 
Jub
10:10 / 14.10.05
there's no one else on this thread.

there is now.

Yay me.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
10:31 / 14.10.05
"What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun."

-Ecclesiastes 1:9
 
 
Sean the frumious Bandersnatch
00:33 / 15.10.05
Name- Sean

Picture-

Star Sign- Leo

Last Great Book You've Burnt- It wasn't so much a great book as the first book I ever felt needed to be burnt, but Ann Rice's The Mummy. I didn't pay for it and only read a few pages before I put it in the oven. But if it has to be a great book...I've done some horrible things to my old copy of The Koran, and if this girl I'm seeing ever found out about them she'd murder me.

Most Humbling Moment- Maybe when I was a brown belt and was knocked unconscious by a orange belt who was also younger than me. Or maybe when I was in the car being driven by a girl I liked in high school and a few other friends and, despite that I was only a foot and a half behind her, she totally forgot I was even there.

Five Things You Can Live Without-
1. Video Games. No, really. I almost never play them.
2. Everyone elso who liven in my apartment complex.
3. So many fucking questions, yeah?
4. My sense of smell. Only rarely is it worth having.
5. This feeling I get whenever somebody is mean to me that they're only doing so because they're in fact better than me.

Celebrity You'd Like to Put in a Wicker Man and Toast- Gene Wilder. (Raises glass) Here's to you, Gene Wilder.

Someone You'd like to Kick the Shit out of- My older brother. Not because I hate him, but because we used to fight a lot when we were younger, and now that I'm older and stronger I'm pretty sure that I could win this time.

Best Lie You've Told To God- "If you let me pass this test, I swear that I'll believe in you."

Things You'll Find Beneath My Bedroom- This annoying baby that cries all the damn time. From the apartment underneath mine, of course.

What I'm Looking For- Nothing, I don't think. Maybe a job. I'm one of those guys who waits for things to find them.

Why You Should Get To Know Me- I know a lot of useless things and can be pretty witty sometimes. I do my best to keep my word and be good to other people. Plus, I'm all sensative but also confident and can hold my own in a fight. And I'm freaky flexable.
 
 
babazuf
05:59 / 15.10.05
Name: Ryan

Picture:


Star Sign: Leo.

Last great book you've burnt: I threw my copy of Ulysses against the wall in a fit of blind rage, screaming "Fuck you, James Joyce!"

Most humbling moment: One single and ignominious instance of erectile disfunction when I was eighteen. What can I say? I had performance anxiety.

LE SIGH.

Five things you can live without:
1. University campus Marxists
2. Anti-smoking campaigners
3. Back hair
4. Questionnaires where I can't bloody think of a decent answer to all of the goddamn questions. Bastard.

Celebrity you'd like to put in a wicker man, and toast:
Does Kasimir Malevich count as a celebrity? Because he was a cunt.

Someone you'd like to kick the shit out of: Germaine Greer. Drew Carey. The entire cast of Beverly Hills 90210. Oh, quelle horreur!

Best lie you've told to God: "I was cleaning it and it went off."

Things you'll find beneath my bedroom: The corpses of thirty-seven immigrant labourers and a small dog.

What I'm looking for: Nice tobacco, good whisky, a sharp silhouette, pretty girls, short skirts.

Why you should get to know me: I'm a charming drunkard with some very bad habits. Self-destruction is an aphrodisiac, don'chaknow.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
06:39 / 15.10.05
Name
Lady Xoc, Empress of all the Maya.

Picture:
Here I am, engaging in the blood-letting ritual:


Star Sign
Leo

Last great book you've burnt
Inconceivable that I would ever burn a book. I would feel like Savonarola. But, if I were so to do, the History of Group Analysis that I have to précis this weekend for a seminar on Monday would be the one.

Most humbling moment
Phoned up the people from whom we bought this house to say that the central heating wasn't working. Humbled when we realised we just hadn't turned up the thermostat.

Five things you can live without
1. Misty-eyed Scottish expatriates. If you miss it so much then go back.
2. Star Trek Enterprise. Dregs of the bottle.
3. Richard E Grant and all his works. I feel slightly soiled now, having written his name.
4. Idiots on the tube. Need a good slap. Tube staff should carry giant hands just for the purpose, to castigate people who stand in the way on escalators, in doorways, at stair heads and stair ends.
5. Sushi / sashimi. Under no circumstances would I eat raw fish of my own volition. That's not a meal. Where's the crunch?

Celebrity you'd like to put in a wicker man, and toast
REG, see 3. above. Oh, to hear the screaming and pleading and crisping up. Deep joy.

Someone you'd like to kick the shit out of
Too much violence in this thread already.

Best lie you've told to God
I don't talk to God because there ain't no such animal.

Things you'll find beneath my bedroom
My sitting room.

What I'm looking for
I want to go back to sleep because I am, unaccountably, wide awake too early on a Saturday morning and I will be out drinking and dancing late tonight, so should charge up my batteries. But cannot, for some reason.

Why you should get to know me
You shouldn't. I have enough friends already. Go bother someone else.
 
 
chiaroscuroing
12:28 / 15.10.05
Name
A small word people refer to me by.

Picture:


How cool am I?


Star Sign
Should be in bold captial letters, sprinkled in glitter and gold dust, edged in neon and held up by Kate from Lost.

(Virgo)


Last great book you've burnt
The. Hobbit.

-shudder-


Most humbling moment
I once feel off the first floor balcony of a flat sideways, that was so fucking painful it must of been humbling. And even if it isn't, I needed to share it. It lessens the emotional pain.


Five things you can live without
I can't be bothered with this q.


Celebrity you'd like to put in a wicker man, and toast
One thing, do we get to eat them? or can we only use their charred remains as decoration?


Someone you'd like to kick the shit out of
I'd like to kick seven different shades of shit out of everyone who's ever been on Newsnight Review, except Tom Paulin. He's cool.


Best lie you've told to God
You ever do that again, I'll fuckin' kill you.


Things you'll find beneath my bedroom
My guilt personified in the river of Acheron.


What I'm looking for
An exit, where they always play Lomax's prison blues.

And in the meantime, like the poet says: Sex, love and money.


Why you should get to know me
I'm hot. I'm so hot.

And anyway, if you don't, how are you going to be able to stalk me and provide the much needed unconditional love that I crave to able define myself, and rescue my soul back from the evil cluthes of 'The Institute'.
 
 
Disco is My Class War
18:07 / 15.10.05
Barbelith, spring duck,
I liked yr old stuff better
than yr new stuff.
 
 
Mistoffelees
20:21 / 15.10.05
These questions are too negative and violent. We need more uplifting questions like "When was the last time you were petting a squirrel?" or "Do I look fat in this dress?".
 
 
fuckbaked
09:38 / 16.10.05
name: fuckbaked

picture: :-L (that’s me with a joint)

star sign: scorpio. you know what they say about scorpios.

last great book you’ve burnt: I have too much respect for books to ever burn them, although there’s one book that I’ve been trying to give to people for a while. I bought it at a garage sale because it was extremely cheap and I thought it might be good. It’s not. I forget what it’s called or who it’s by, and I’m not at home so I can’t check. Friends always notice it when they're at my house and ask about it (why do they ask about that specific book?) and I always tell them that it’s horrible and that they can have it if they want it. They never take it.

most humbling moment: my stupid brain loves reminding me of all the stupid/mean/extremely weird things that I’ve said or done, and it’s hard to escape those humbling moments.

five things I can live without:
1. cell phones
2. televisions
3. crystal meth
4. people who stare and/or make rude comments when I’m walking down the street, reading on the bus, or otherwise minding my own business
5. I wish I didn’t have to clean anything, ever

celebrity I’d like to put in a wicker man and toast:
I’d like to put the cultural expectation that I care about celebrities and that I am familiar with what movies they’ve been in, etc., into a wicker man and toast it. Am I really worse off for not knowing anything about Tom Cruise besides his name? The answer is yes, but only because people think I’m strange for it, and because it means there’s less to talk to them about.

someone you’d like to kick the shit out of:
the president of a certain American country, who I will not name because I think it's more illegal to want to kick the shit out of him than to want to kick the shit out of other people who deserve to have the shit kicked out of them.

best lie you’ve told to God:
I really haven’t said enough to God to be able to remember ever lying to him.

things you’ll find beneath my bedroom:
dirt and the like. hopefully there aren’t any bodies buried under my house. if there are, I didn’t put them there.

what I’m looking for:
something less tedious and less meaningless than the life I’m currently living.

An alternate dimension in which my country isn't fucking up everything I couldn’t have said it better myself.

why you should get to know me: you proably shouldn’t.

When was the last time you were petting a squirrel?: I’ve heard that squirrels will kick the shit out of you if you go near them. I don’t know if this is true.
 
  
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