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I'm just going to call attention to "the potential travesty value" of a He-Man movie, once. Moving on, isn't Ring Wraith Orko, .45-slinging Adam, Teela/Manowar slashy/sexing DIRECTED BY JOHN WOO and narrated by the internal self-examinations and obsessions of Cringer... far more entertaining than anything a straight adaptation of the toy and their previous adaptations, taken in whole, would otherwise be? Whadday want, a script by Billie Wilder and David Mamet, direction by David Lynch and/or Michael Bey, effects by WETA and costumes by ghost of Edith Head possesing the body and design-hand of Gaultier?
I'm afraid the throw-offs we come up with here will be far cooler than the inevitable actuality. Unless they made it anthology film with parts by Woo, followed by segments by Luc Besson, Ryuhei Kitamura, and Woody Allen.
Which brings me to: None of the secondary villains from 'Masters of the Universe' actually had anything to do with the cartoon, did they? Er... except Beastman, I mean. And excluding Skele-I'm not Darkseid really-tor. And they never, ever - please someone reassure me - pulled off Orko's red kit and showed him to be a gilled-dwarf, right? |
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