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(Which I do have, but haven't read because I put it in my safe)
It's a little-known fact, but the entire comic collectors' market, such as it is, was created when my dear if disreputable uncle, Silas Millar, was idly watching "Rugburn 4" and flicking through the Ian fleming classic Goldfinger (the fingering scene in the porno remake also classic), when he had the idea of infiltrating the comics depository at Fort Knox, where all the most valuable comics in the world were kept, armed only with five teenage boys and a Top Cow swimsuit special. Suffice it to say that by the end of the day the entire reserve had been rendered inaccessible for millenia by a tidal wave of radioactive gitmilk.
As a result of this, what comics remain accessible have increased massively in value. In order to stimulate this market, DC has moved increasingly towards collecting issues as quickly as possible to avoid similar milky crises damaging the values of private collections. You may have noticed other erection-calming measures, including the introduction of Superman's mullet, Zatanna's Justice League uniform and the entire career of Geoff Johns. Unfortunately, schedules being as they are, this has at times led to the collected edition actually coming out before the comics themselves, forcing DC to pulp the entire run to avoid looking like dicks. You think the 49ers was meant to be a prestige format one-shot? Bollocks it was. Neil Gaiman suffers most acutely from this, possibly because the poor bastards who have to actually look at his work in order to make sure the pages are in the right order are driven insane by it. Only joking, Neil! Let's get lashed on snakebite or whatever SOUTHERN JESSIES drink!
However, the wheel has now, it seems, come full circle. The fact that Project OMAC 1, a minor part of a bewilderingly pointless crossover dedicated primarily to making Keith Giffen Joe Quesada's prison girlfriend for life, is considered safe material in any sense other than the obvious is a sign that the market is desperately in need of a readjustment. Cue yours truly. My own Infinite Crisis limited series, shipping in November according to Wizard Magazine (who incidentally stiill have me on their hot writers top 10 after 7 seven years) is designed to do just that.
So, look out for WHEELCHAIR ACCESS, in which Nightwing and Black Canary give Oracle the seeing-to she's obviously gasping for in order to stop her moaning about Blue Beetle, who appears only in flashback and as a ghost and never in the same room as Nightwing when he has his clothes off. It'll make you stain your entire comics collection. Guaranteed or your money bahahahahahahaah.
Ahahha.
Aha. |
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