BARBELITH underground
 

Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.


Dumb names for cool stuff

 
  

Page: (1)2

 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
17:58 / 02.10.05
So the Vernal Equinox is the moment when the Sun appears to cross the celestial equator, heading northward. It is the precise moment that spring begins in the Northern Hemisphere and autumn in the Southern Hemisphere. In Chinese culture the vernal equinox marks the middle of spring. (Wikipedia)

That's a perfectly respectable name for an equinox. 'Vernal' sounds scientific, decently old fashioned, and suitably seasonal, terracentric, and abstruse. All in all, it's entirely satisfactory. Sadly, the equinox at the other end of the year is called the Autumnal Equinox. Which is a total let-down.

Anything else like that bug you?
 
 
Papess
18:24 / 02.10.05
If you don't already - try putting the accent on the second syllable. I used to pronounce it incorrectly and it sounds far worse.
 
 
■
18:40 / 02.10.05
Well, given that vernal is the latin for spring, the only way you could refer to the other equinox using the same language would be er.. autumnal. Y'know, the latin for autumnal.

[Am I missing the point somewhere?]
 
 
All Acting Regiment
21:34 / 02.10.05
Hmm. "Dry Riser" is a cool name for something a bit boring to do with pipes. But that's sort of the inverse of what Nick's after.

Who's got the balls to say that they think Barbelith's a shit name?

Because I'm watching you.

*Swings axe nonchalantly*
 
 
Sax
07:27 / 03.10.05
Wanking.
 
 
pointless & uncalled for
07:42 / 03.10.05
iPod nano - Cracking invention, nice one apple, cakes and handshakes all round I'm sure. But who's responsible for this name, huh. I can understand that you would want a name that would reference it's size in relation to the rest of the iPod product line but nano really isn't the way to go here. Nano is used to describe something that is extremely small. Now, while I appreciate that this new model is notably smaller than its older siblings, it's smallness isn't really that extreme is it. Pretty small, rather small or even tiny I could accept, but deserving of the title of "nano" it is not.

Nano is also used to mean, in more scientific terms, one billionth. If the iPod nano had one billionth the capacity of oven the largest regular iPod then the only thing you could store on it would be the entire Kelly Clarkson catalogue filtered for credibility.

Crap name.
 
 
The Natural Way
09:48 / 03.10.05
There's a restaurant in Brighton called, get this, "The Food Clinic". I studiously avoided eating there for fear of late 70's/early 80's style mungburger washed down w/ some children's chewable vit C, but recently I've discovered the food's bloody lovely. The name summons up horrible memoris for me but prolly doesn't effect the business much - 'tis Brighton after all.
 
 
The Natural Way
10:00 / 03.10.05
Killer, I brand u "Pedantic-Shame".
 
 
pointless & uncalled for
10:10 / 03.10.05
It's no less than I deserve.
 
 
Bed Head
10:48 / 03.10.05
This dude:



He’s a millionaire playboy-type, he’s been exposed to, like, cosmic radiation maaan, which has left him with a groovy half-and-half face and nuclear energy powers and stuff. Oh, and his parents have been murdered, so he’s got the standard motivation to become a Proper Superhero. Also: he sleeps in his armour! He bathes regularly! All good.

His name is Jack Heart. So, *what* does he choose as his superhero name?

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Yes. The Jack of Hearts. I mean, it’s a supremely cool costume, but for God’s sake, Jack! Pick a different name! The whole point of a secret identity is that it’s kinda different to your real name.
 
 
Mistoffelees
11:08 / 03.10.05
But that´s just it:

"Who is this Jack of Heart?"
"Could it be Jack Heart?"
"Nah, the whole point of a secret identity is to hide who you really are!"
*slaps forehead*"So it would be really stupid of him to use this as a secret identity!"
"Yep. Must be someone else."
 
 
mondo a-go-go
12:18 / 03.10.05
For a pedant, the Seldom-Killer really needs to watch out for those rogue apostrophes...

I can't decide if this is a dumb name for a cool product, or a cool name for a dumb product. (Today I saw a van with "Porn & Dunwoody" written on the side of it. They're a company that makes lifts, but I never get my camera out in time when I see the vans... That's really a better name than what they make -- maybe we should start a thread of "good names for bad things"...?)
 
 
pointless & uncalled for
12:34 / 03.10.05
Snippy comments really shouldn't end in multiple stops.

I reckon elevators are pretty cool things. Calling them lifts is dumb though. I never would have read Charlie and the Great Glass Lift or listened to Black Francis scream "Lift lady, lift me baby" and so on.
 
 
mondo a-go-go
12:39 / 03.10.05
They're called ellipses, and they indicate a pause in the conversation. At least, in my conversation.

Now you can crown me The Pedant. At least until the next one comes along...
 
 
pointless & uncalled for
12:41 / 03.10.05
Shouldn't resumation of conversation of be marked with elipses to indicate a declination of the pause in question?
 
 
Mistoffelees
12:44 / 03.10.05
If you ever want to drive a german engineer crazy call a lift Fahrstuhl (driving chair). It irritates all technical people immensely: "You see a chair in there? Do you?"

The technical term is Aufzug (pull up), but everybody except the mechanics call it Fahrstuhl. To annoy them, hehehe.

And yodeling is a bad name for a good thing!
 
 
Mistoffelees
12:49 / 03.10.05
Now you can crown me The Pedant.

Or "The Pedantess"....?
 
 
Quantum
14:27 / 03.10.05
Sorry, surely you mean 'Pedantress'....

four dot ellipse added to indicate pregnant pause awaiting pedantic response
 
 
■
15:18 / 03.10.05
It's an ellipsis, actually. The plural is ellipses.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
15:25 / 03.10.05
"Pedantrix"?
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
15:26 / 03.10.05
"Wh-Who are you?"
"I'm... The Bruce Of Waynes!"
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:39 / 03.10.05
Shouldn't resumation of conversation of be marked with elipses to indicate a declination of the pause in question?

Dude. Calm.

Nobody ever uses the ellipsis correctly on the Internet, in terms either of use or typography. It has not, I think, been used correctly once in the run of this thread. It's just a thing.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
15:53 / 03.10.05
You're straying. Only Sax is paying attention to the thread's purpose, and his contribution was 'wanking'. I leave you to decide how that reflects on everyone else...

Inverted Commas are another thing with a crappy name. They're not commas. And calling them 'quotes' doesn't help. I think they should have a new name. Like hadigorns or platalics.

Then, of course, there's TWAIN. But that's actually a reasonably good name, because it is on the one hand self-referential, but on the other actually no longer describes itself now that it's called TWAIN.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:57 / 03.10.05
Hang on - TWAIN the scanner standard? How so?

I nominate CERN. It is a laboratory under the ground with a gigantic particle accelerator, and it sounds like the space between characters in printing.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
16:08 / 03.10.05
I was kinda kidding. It's supposed to stand for 'Technology Without An Interesting Name', although the truth is perhaps less exciting: The word TWAIN is from Kipling's "The Ballad of East and West" - "...and never the twain shall meet...", reflecting the difficulty, at the time, of connecting scanners and personal computers. It was up-cased to TWAIN to make it more distinctive. This led people to believe it was an acronym, and then to a contest to come up with an expansion. None were selected, but the entry "Technology Without An Interesting Name" continues to haunt the standard. "

I can't help but notice that the TWAIN working group borrowed that definition from elsewhere; the denial - like the false definition - seems to be recursively borrowed. I like to think they might both be true.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
16:18 / 03.10.05
Ah, but CERN is also a HEP institute:

About CERN's Name

The historical legacy

In 1951, a provisional body was created called the "Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire" (CERN). This was a council: a body of people. In 1953 the Council decided to build a central laboratory near Geneva. At that time, pure physics research concentrated on understanding the inside of the atom, hence the word "nuclear".

As ratified by the parliaments of the member states, the convention specifies that the laboratory is officially called the "Organisation européenne pour la recherche nucléaire" or "European Organization for Nuclear Research" (*).

However, the name of the Council stuck to the organization, which is why we are referred to in the literature as simply "CERN".

This is also the reason for the common mistake to think of the "C" of CERN as the first letter of "Centre", but the "C" stands for "Council".

Very soon, the work at the laboratory went beyond the study of the atomic nucleus, on into higher and higher energy densities.

Scientists here look for effects between the forces of nature that become noticeable only at very high energies.

Therefore, from early on, we have been a High-Energy Physics institute, or a "HEP" institute.

Because this activity is mainly concerned with the study of interactions between particles, we are also commonly referred to as the "European Laboratory for Particle Physics" ("Laboratoire européen pour la physique des particules") and it is this latter title that really describes the current work of the laboratory.

To summarize
As an outsider, you may refer to us as "CERN, the European Laboratory for Particle Physics near Geneva", but for legal reasons we will always communicate with you as the "European Organization for Nuclear Research".
CERN staff must use the official name in all CERN published materials.


CERN's name is an umbrella, a massive polyglot legal catchall which replaces the less handy CERN: ELPPG and other possible names with a single somehow latinate, godlike syllable...
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
16:20 / 03.10.05
Ah, but CERN is also a HEP institute

Groovy, daddio.
 
 
Chiropteran
16:50 / 03.10.05
The band Bohren und der Club of Gore is an amazing sloooooow doomy jazz band from Germany (whose members all used to play in metal and hardcore bands). The music is great, but they have a name one hates to ask for in the shops. Even they're embarrassed by it now, but they've decided to grit their teeth and keep it.
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
23:09 / 03.10.05
That's a fabulous name. I hope they don't change. I love the fact that you can be playing this very quiet, ambient, doomy jazz and people ask you what it is... so you show them the all-black digipack that looks like it should be on Crucial Blast or something.

I refute the shit-naminess of that band!

I do, however, think that "Barbelith" is a bit of a shit name. (I'll see any axes and raise them a blocksplitter.)
 
 
rising and revolving
01:16 / 04.10.05
On lifts, the company responsible for installing and maintaining many of Melbournes lifts (and possibly also others throughout Aus, I know not) is ...

... wait for it ...

Schindlers Lifts.

Dead set. Apparently it was even established by a relative of he of the list. But a bloody long time ago.

Not so much a dumb name for cool stuff, as a cool name for boring stuff. If I call it Schindlers Fahrstuhl do I get away with it?
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
02:16 / 04.10.05
Nick, you yourself are only close enough to the topic to throw a wrench* at it: you've described a cool name for a cool thing, and a shit name for something else entirely. Seldom Killer, wedding-shame, and Bed Head are all admirably on-topic, despite your snub (though I think Bed Head is doing a bit of a non causa pro causa--clearly they thought of the dumb name Jack of Hearts before making him all cool). Is it your contention that the Autumnal Equinox is as cool as the Vernal Equinox? I'm not sure I understand what you like so much about equinoxes to begin with.

Many animals are cool things with dumb names, like the Jackass Penguin.

*A wrench is a cool thing with a cool name--because you wrench things with a wrench--except in the UK, where it is called a "spanner", I believe. How dumb is that?
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
02:20 / 04.10.05
Wikipedia
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
03:18 / 04.10.05
Orchids probably seem like a cool thing with a cool name, but an ancient Greek might not agree, since the name is derived from the Greek word for testicles. In fact, I think the adjectival form, orchid, still means "testicular".

Oops, I'm about to digress.
 
 
Mistoffelees
06:58 / 04.10.05
If I call it Schindlers Fahrstuhl do I get away with it?

Yes, yes you do.

Schindler´s Fahrstühle
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
11:55 / 04.10.05
Polyamory to thread.
 
  

Page: (1)2

 
  
Add Your Reply