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The Dogs of War

12:26 / 28.02.02

Last night on The Weakest Link there was a "writers special" - the likes of Lisa Jewell, Brian Sewell, Sue McGregor submitting themselves to faint ridicule and "acidic putdowns" (copyright Radio Times) from the Ice Queen Anne Robinson.

As you probably know with these celebrity things, the prize-money is donated to a charity chosen by the Last Man Standing, who in this case happened to be the lisping queen of bonkbuster sagas, the jolly sooper Jilly Cooper.

Now, as far as I'm concerned she really can do what she likes with her prize money - especially as far as charity goes - there can hardly be any bad choices among deserving causes, right?

So was I alone in feeling vaguely angry (nothing more, couldn't really summon up the passion) when Jilly donated nearly eight grand in winnings to a project to "erect a monument on Park Lane to honour all the animals who have lost their lives in wars"?

Now I'm sure animals have had as rough a time as anyone during any kind of conflict, but... surely a hospital? A kids' home? A rape crisis centre? If she cares that much about a fucking monument to animals killed in the war, why not give eight grand of her own money? She can afford it. Fine, be an animal lover, but give the money to a charity that helps living animals!

Or am I overreacting, here?

12:31 / 28.02.02

This is fucking moronic. All the animals that have been hurt in war? Does this include worms under scorched earth?

The fucking stupid thing about it is it's not even helping animals. It's a fucking statue. No animal on earth understands the fucking concept of a statue. At least she could have given it to her local vets, or to Rolph Harris so he could make another series of Animal Vet Doctor or whatever the fuck it's called.

[ 28-02-2002: Message edited by: Sauron ]

12:37 / 28.02.02

No overreaction there, Sax. That's an utterly stupid thing to do.

Images of a statue of a dog with a machinegun pointed at it, or a cat just about to step on a landmine, flood my head.

12:39 / 28.02.02

quote:Originally posted by E. Randy Dupre:
, or a cat just about to step on a landmine, flood my head.

Actually, it's a fucking fantastic idea- would look hilarious!

12:42 / 28.02.02

I feel that the image of a cat, captured just pre-glassing, would be a bit too obvious.

12:45 / 28.02.02

Perhaps the animals need to be more exotic then.

Last year 9 wildebeast died becasue of war, and 18 Parakeets were also slain.

An Afgan mountain goat, who saw his partner flattened by a 12lb scatter bomb, was heard to say 'I ain't got no beef with The Taliban'.

This needs to stop.

12:49 / 28.02.02

Sauron:
"No animal on earth understands the fucking concept of a statue."

They're for pissing on, surely? Actually, that would be totally disrespectful - they should use the 8 grand to employ an armed security guard, charged with the job of shooting dead any dogs or birds who wee or defecate on the thing.

[ 28-02-2002: Message edited by: Saveloy ]

12:49 / 28.02.02

It was just the fact that this is BBC cash, ie money from the licence payers (I generalise, but you know what I mean) that is being graciously donated to charity... this doesn't strike me as a charitable cause. As I said, if she feels so strongly, give a bit of her own cash. But if I ran Jilly's local hospice or cancer care unit, I'd be feeling a bit aggrieved.

12:53 / 28.02.02

Edited to note the fact that Saveloy beat me to it...

quote:Originally posted by Sauron:
No animal on earth understands the fucking concept of a statue.

Well, except possibly as a toilet...

I agree, completely stupid. Give the money to the RSPCA or the PDSA or something, for crying out loud.

And, sorry to threadrot, but did anyone else hear something about Ms. Anti-Welsh running a charity version of 'The Weakest Link' at a benefit fundraising event for the hunt?

[ 28-02-2002: Message edited by: Cholister ]

13:05 / 28.02.02

Maybe the statue could be made by the desingers of the Bonzai Kitten Coffin. It could feature a huge Mouse, glazed alive, with a kalashnikov balanced accross his antlers.

13:05 / 28.02.02

Now, I just found this about a similar thing on Cambridge Avenue in NW6:

"In memory of 484222 horses, mules and bullocks and many hundreds of
dogs carrier pigeons and other creatures on the front during the Great
War.
In France alone 725216 sick and wounded animals were treated in the
veterinary hospitals provided by the RSPCA.

In 1931, 13 years after the end of the war to commemorate the suffering of half a million animals during World War One the RSPCA appointed a special committee to raise a fund to establish an Animal Memorial.

The memorial is a dispensary treating sick animals. It is also unusual in its inscription which looks to the future and asks us to commemorate the animal's suffering and death by showing kindness and consideration to living animals. Equivalent sentiment on memorials to us humans are hard to find."

The way Jolly Sooper was talking she was giving money to a new memorial on Park Lane, which sounded like just a statue. Why not give the eight grand to this lot?

13:15 / 28.02.02

I remembered hearing about a project like this some time ago; I think this is the one, and prolly the one Jilly Cooper is going on about.

Hyde Park

Nice, but I agree with Sax that the dispensary/memorial is a much better idea.

13:24 / 28.02.02

That rejected design is especially yuk. An elephant under a pedestal, a horse climbing the steps and some kind of snake with a man's body (?) on top..?

13:29 / 28.02.02

Yeah, it's a bit half-arsed isn't it? And no, I couldn't work out what the feck that thing on the top was meant to be either. Shame, cos I usually like Michael Sandle's stuff - he did (appropriately enough) that "Mickey Mouse manning a Machine Gun" sculpture back in the 70s.

[ 28-02-2002: Message edited by: Saveloy ]

The Natural Way

13:34 / 28.02.02

I fancy that the statue should be of a duck-billed playpus, erect and all proudponce, holding a spear.

On a tank.

13:37 / 28.02.02

With a stogie in his mouth.

13:38 / 28.02.02

The Scottish parliament is something like 300 million over the original 50 million estimate. Now part of me thinks that the money could go to more immediately worthwhile causes. However more of me thinks that spending large amounts of money on grandiose public projects is cool and the kind of thing I want my society to be a part of.
The key point is that worthwhile charities and projects should be well funded anyway. They shouldn't survive by society not commissioning works of art, commemorating events, etc.