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Things to check who blocks you on msn, yahoo or any other instant messenger?

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All Acting Regiment

15:23 / 23.09.05

I need to sort out various contact lists on msn and thought other people might as well. Is there a way of checking who's blocking you and who isn't?

ONLY NICE THINGS

15:38 / 23.09.05

You can register a new chat account and see if the person who appears offline on your main account appears online on that account.

However, to do so officially marks you out as weird and creepy.

All Acting Regiment

16:01 / 23.09.05

Yeah. I'm just trying to work out who's stopped using it as I haven't pruned the lists for a good few years.

16:27 / 23.09.05

Would I be hijacking this thread if I said, in a slightly exaggerated fashion, 'blocking wha-?', 'msn how?', 'yahwho?!'?

I kinda know what instant messengers are, and I've used one (MSN Messenger I think) once or twice, but I've never really got into it. For someone to ask a question like this, and to get a quick answer, suggests that IM is an everyday mode of communication for lots of people. Is that right?
How does it work? What's it like? Do you maintain conversations with several people at once? Do contacts lists become grouped into circles of friends you get together with? I imagine a Lateshifty culture, but I might be wrong about that. Is there a community component? Where does it fit in the spectrum of phonecalls, Skype, text messages, emails, LJ, messageboards, blogs etc?

All Acting Regiment

16:44 / 23.09.05

Smoothly:

Basically, how it works is you get a window. You've got a load of your mate's names in it. You click on each name to activate a convo, and then its like a mini chatroom. Simple really. You can talk to...well sometimes I've had 12 people on the go at once.

You can put people in groups. Eg. "College", "Work", whatever.

You can have little pictures and sentences to identify you. You can share files (usually silly photos).

Sometimes you have serious conversations, but it's not as good as a telephone for that unless you have all the gizmos to get a speech convo going. Yes, usually it's lateshift-esque. Quite fast paced. Ppl tnd 2 tlk like ths whch i cn c mite irritate sum of the more mature 'Lithers so I shall halt it.

Some people are on all the time, some less. Usually you just stick the program on whenever you go online and see who's there. Generally younger people use it more; with me it's a handy "Who's coming out?" tool.

Getting someone's contact adress carries the same connotations as getting someone's number, except with a slightly dodgy suggestion that you're into one handed typing.

Generally it's just another link to your friends. Almost everyone I know uses IM's but it doesn't feel intrusive, because you can turn it off whenever.

16:55 / 23.09.05

Thanks, Legba. Can I ask a couple of quick questions? How long have you been using IM like this? And (only if you don't mind me asking), roughly how old are you?
Also, have you met new people via IM? Do these social circles overlap and feed into one another?

17:18 / 23.09.05

I remember using ICQ for a while back when no-one else I knew had tha interweb and it just became a source of spammery, so I gave up. I always thought only teenagers used it so, like SW, I've never given it any thought since. Isn't it horribly intrusive? I feel it would just add another layer to the whole phone off the hook, mobile switched off "leave me the fuck alone"-ness I often need to do to relax properly.

17:20 / 23.09.05

I'd been wondering what those email invitations were all about. 'X invites you to chat!' 'Y invites you to Myspace!' etc.
Just another way to use the internet that's unsuitable if you only have it at work. Like the Barberadio, a joy I cannot yet experience. Meh. Those chatrooms were sour anyway...

All Acting Regiment

17:21 / 23.09.05

No worries Smoothster. Answers in order:

I've been using IM for about 3-4 years now- that's when people other than "geeks" started using them in a big way if I recall correctly. Before that I used to mess around on Yahoo chatrooms pretending to be a...but I was young.

At the risk of a chorus of "I told you so's", let's say I'm over 18 under 25, just starting at Uni. That's the age group me and my peers belong to and actually explains a lot of the crap posts I used to make here. I think it's also the age group, along with teenagers, who use IM's the most at the moment, but I think that, like video games, as this generation gets older we will progress to a level where many demographics use IM.

Have I met new people? Well, on the one hand there's certainly as you suggested an element of crossover between different people's lists. Say for example I'm talking to Cockhugger56 about Melt Banana and they happen to say that their pal TitLungerExtreem is in to them, they could then bring them into the conversation and let me talk to them, have them join my list.

As well as this, there are times when having got chatting to someone at random, maybe at the bus stop or the pub, we swap contact adresses and end up getting to know eachother better than we would otherwise have done: so as well as meeting new people online, you can meet someone in real life and get to know them better and quicker.

17:23 / 23.09.05

ok, this thread is officially hijacked now, but if you don't mind too much, I'd like to answer that last part of your question.

I'm 17, and a senior in high school. IM is pretty much the norm with kids my age - almost everyone I know uses it (I think I can probably count on my hand the number of kids I know who I know for sure don't).

Anyway, getting onto the last part: I have actually met people via IM, as well as turned aquaintences into friends and/or business partners and/or artistic collaborators via IM. One recent example: about three weeks ago I got a freelance job designing album art for a band. I had never heard of the band, and I don't advertise myself as a designer to anyone (this was my first paying design job). It just so happened that a friend of mine knew the band, and when she heard that they were in need of a designer, told them that I was a bit of a photoshop guru. Proving that it's even more useful: almost all of the conversations I had with the band were over IM. There was only one time that we spoke on the phone. I even sent him the files via IM!
To continue the chain, the friend that recomended me I originally knew through an extracuricular writing class. We never talked very much, but now we're pretty good friends and working on a zine together... much of this had to do with our IM conversations.

All Acting Regiment

17:34 / 23.09.05

Isn't it horribly intrusive? I feel it would just add another layer to the whole phone off the hook, mobile switched off "leave me the fuck alone"-ness I often

Surprisingly no. At least not in my experience. I can see why you might think that, but you don't have to have it on all the time. You can also lurk if you want, waiting for someone you actually feel like talking to to come online.

I'd been wondering what those email invitations were all about. 'X invites you to chat!' 'Y invites you to Myspace!' etc.
Just another way to use the internet that's unsuitable if you only have it at work.

Time for pedantry. Myspace is actually something different, it's a webpage where you can build a little photoset and blog about yourself. Bands can use it as well. It's a static, browser based community, and there are thousands like them, and they all send out spammy little emails, and I personally can't stand them.

Whereas messenger is something altogether different.

Hmm. Is anyone on Barbelith interested in sharing their adresses? I can see this might be a bit problematic in terms of impartiality in moderation and arguments (if people are chumming up behind the scenes), and in privacy (we'd probably have to use PMs instead of Wiki), but I'd be willing to chat to people from here if it was a done thing.

19:16 / 23.09.05

People have been "chumming up behind the scenes" before we even had a backdrop.

19:44 / 23.09.05

well, how else would we stage the fights?
we're faker than wrestling!

All Acting Regiment

20:05 / 23.09.05

Yeah, I thought that sounded a bit silly after I'd posted it. Show of hands for anyone who's interested then?

20:41 / 23.09.05

well, how else would we stage the fights?
we're faker than wrestling!

Yep, it's true. Ganesh and I are actually gay lovers.

20:53 / 23.09.05

Wait - Ganesh is gay?

22:00 / 23.09.05

No, but his boyfriend is.

Weren't this and this attempts to do something along the lines Legba's talking about? Or am I displaying my ignorance about types of instant messaging again?

This stuff is really interesting. I'd like to no more about how people use the internet for different modes of conversation, and how we negotiate communication technology generally. But I don't want to derail this thread if Legba's hoping for more help with his original question. Worth starting a new one, or can I steal this?

All Acting Regiment

22:11 / 23.09.05

Oh, steal it. This is more interesting anyway.

All Acting Regiment

22:13 / 23.09.05

Looking at those links, no, that is something different. Static. Browser based. They require people to log onto a specific site.

What you might want to try doing if you want to learn more about this is downloading the latest version of (spit)MSN(spit) messenger, then asking me for my username on it via pm.

22:30 / 23.09.05

I might take you up on that, Legba.

So,
Isn't it horribly intrusive? I feel it would just add another layer to the whole phone off the hook, mobile switched off "leave me the fuck alone"-ness

I read that as my landline rang without me even considering answering it. Growing up, I don't think our phone was ever left to ring unanswered, and my mother still can't bring herself to screen calls in any way. So relatively speaking, I'm pretty resistant to the demanding ring of the telephone but conversely (and again, unlike my mother) I never turn my mobile off if I don't have to. These represent two pretty basic strategies for negotiating with the age of mobile telephony (either going incommunicado for periods of time, or maintaining constant availability but picking and choosing as you go.)

But that's just phones. Other than face to face conversation (which also has rules - it has to be public or invited; pretty much no one is welcome to knock on my door unannounced), email is probably my primary mode of communication. When I'm at work or at home I have constant internet connection, and am alerted whenever mail appears. But, again, I don't feel particularly hassled by it. I treat emails (particularly non-work ones) as if they're letters. I read them at my leisure and don't feel that I have to respond immediately. And I do get a bit irked by any breaks with those rules. I resent being asked for a receipt, for example.
God, then there's SMS messages, cold calling, bulletin boards, PMs, blog comments and, and no doubt loads of other things just round the corner... There are now so many different modes of communication that I wonder how people are coping?

01:45 / 24.09.05

I ignore most of them. I've pretty much given up on email in favor of IM. I have yet to get spam via IM and it has an immediacy that email lacks. Conversely, I've had IM conversations that had half-hour pauses between exchanges since both involved parties were doing something else at the time.

IM is great for work because almost all managers like seeing employees typing busily away, while very few managers like seeing employees on the phone for more than 5 minutes at a time.

03:04 / 24.09.05

I heart instant messaging.

And I fear the telephone.

08:06 / 24.09.05

Smoothly - I haven't for a while, but I used to use IM all the time, and I'll probably get back into it again soon. And I'm 37, so it's just teenagers using it. I used it a lot in a previous job (it was the official way of communicating, as staff were spread across the world), and then would use it at night for talking to friends in New Zealand.
It's just much better than email for chatting - you can see if someone's about, and then talk - it really is 'instant', there's no delay so you can have a proper conversation. And as legba (I think) says, you can bring other people in to the conversation - though I find it gets a bit disjointed if you have more than three.
I've got out of the habit recently and this is reminding me i should log on. I do use it a bit at work - if I have a problem I'll IM the IT guys and chat. But I should use it more at home - at the moment it's more a case of being in an email or text conversation and then switching to IM, as it's easier.

08:10 / 24.09.05

What IM software do people use? I used ICQ for a year or two, from 1999 till maybe 2002 (ok, three years!), then have mostly used AIM. What's the norm, these days?

11:06 / 24.09.05

MSN seems to be the network most used in the UK; in the US, people seem to be more likely to have AIM accounts. Some people use Yahoo for the online game potential but it's not as common as those two. And I've not heard of anyone using ICQ for ages. They got bought by AOL anyway.

11:08 / 24.09.05

Loath as I am to deal with AOL, I think it's time to jump aboard AIM. Any of you other scurvy sons of sea dogs with me?

11:10 / 24.09.05

There's also Google Talk, and Skype, both of which you can IM on as well as voice chat.

Withiel: DALI'S ROTTWEILER

13:10 / 24.09.05

Althought I've heard some nasty things about Skype, malware-wise. My strategy is to use trillian, which allows me to log into MSN, AIM, Yahoo, and I think ICQ without using the proprietory programs, and have pretty skins as well. This also means that I can choose to block smileys and ignore the disgusing animated messages and "nudges" (messages that cause an annoying noise to be played and the chat window to shake) that have infested later versions of MSN Messenger. Speaking of which, later versions of MSN do apparently allow automated file transfers, which can leave your computer vulnerable. Or perhaps I'm just paranoid of Microsoftware. I hear GAIM is good as well.
Interestingly, I know a large number of people who are far more likely to use IM than telephones, because (aside from the other considerations discussed above) it allows real-time social interaction with people you know in an environment where you have total control over how you present yourself.

14:44 / 24.09.05

I've never heard anything nasty about Skype. Well, nothing credible, anyway; when it first came out there were rumours that it had spyware, basically because it was by the Kazaa blokes, but that was never substantiated.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

18:25 / 24.09.05

I just got Yahoo instant messenger. Interested parties may PM me for my screen name.

All Acting Regiment

03:03 / 25.09.05

Same here, I use Yahoo and MSN. Simultaneously. Trillian is ace. Come on in!

05:45 / 25.09.05

"Sometimes you have serious conversations, but it's not as good as a telephone for that unless you have all the gizmos to get a speech convo going."

I think that depends on a lot of things: the person with you're chatting, who's chatting from where, what kind of day you're each having, and so forth. The combination of things mentioned above (the immediacy of a phone conversation coupled with the privacy afforded by being behind a screen) can lead to a curiously supple method of communication that's good for everything from setting dinner plans to flirting to getting to know somebody you sort of know in some other online context.

Have been able to talk about some things on IM that it's unlikely I'd ever have said on the phone or over email, because IM felt somehow 'safer'.

Oh, and another advantage over email is that you can ask about and correct on the spot and errors in perception of your tone of the sort that so often occur when using email.

All Acting Regiment

07:11 / 25.09.05

Same here, I use Yahoo and MSN. Simultaneously. Trillian is ace. Come on in!

Or, in less baroque terms, please feel free to PM me for contact adress.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

00:28 / 03.10.05

Hey, this is fun! Can't believe I didn't sign up yeaaars ago.

The Return Of Rothkoid

23:00 / 03.10.05

You have IM access now, MC?

Ooooh. Which address?

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