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The "Oh fuck, I shouldn't have opened this beer" thread!

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

23:09 / 11.09.05

I really should have left this one 'till the morning. But I didn't!

Consequences! I suffer thee!

23:35 / 11.09.05

There have been many "oh no I drank too much" times in my life, but the worst was in college when I flipped out and got violent. I called my best friend a whore. I tried to kick another friend in the head. I pushed two aquaintances into a wall, and threw another one over the couch.

Surprisingly, nobody really took offence. The next evening, the guy I kicked at took me out to dinner and treated me with a stern lecture; everybody else just thought it was funny. It's a testament to both the coolness of my friends and to my utter ineptitude as a fighter.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

23:39 / 11.09.05

I'm just gonna try not to get started on the subject of booze. Believe me, we could be here all week.

00:08 / 12.09.05

ditto

00:12 / 12.09.05

I'm pretty well-behaved when I'm drunk. Apart from that one time I stole people's beer, ran across a cricket pitch during the game and ended up in hospital.

That was a while back.

00:53 / 12.09.05

The worst I had was walking from a mates house to a midnight sit-off with some fags and booze. All I remember is climbing over one of the inner fences to an iced-over pond ... then waking up back at my mates. Was only revealed over shit coffee that I had, with a friend, walked out onto the ice and proceeded to dance a merry jig (of luck and life, apparently).

lonely as a cloud...

07:20 / 12.09.05

Ugh. Now you've just reminded me of the last time.
That fatal shot of sambuca.
Ugh, the taste.
I feel sick. Thanks a bunch, Barbelith! *shakes fist*

08:13 / 12.09.05

I just can't seem to get drunk. For a teetotaller, that's pretty bad- I even mix drinks for extra impact, last time there was this thing called an Incredible Hulk: bright green, very strong and probably radioactive, and in half an hour I've danced it off, plus the coke and O.P. rum, the beers, and the fruit tingles.
But I do think to regret anything done while drunk, you need to have that thing called "guilt" that everyone keeps telling me I should have. I suppose I should really regret pulling off some of those dance moves, but no amount of Napoleon Dynamite styling can dim the glory of out-boogieing my hardcore dance-bunny wife.

Dance, dance, until you have to pee,
I am the lord of the dance says me,
and Ill out-dance anyone at this party,
and I'll dance your pants off, dance bunny!

Tryphena Absent

09:05 / 12.09.05

Lord Morgue I have one word for you and that word is Snakebite. It's not green, it's not shit and it could make you into a vegetable. Try snakebite. It doesn't even taste that bad.

09:18 / 12.09.05

I missed the last tube on saturday night due to 'just one more bottle of wine' at dinner with my sis- meaning a £30 taxi from stockwell to Finsbury park for myself and SO. Followed by the most evil of hangovers that seems to be lasting into monday as i have a cardboard tongue that seems to have lost the ability to taste and sore kidneys.

My ability to endure alchohol has been severly depleted since i gave up drinking for a month- and since then only drink at occasions- ie birthdays/ partys/ dinner etc.

My sunday was ruined and i'm seriously thinking about another month off the sauce...

Tryphena Absent

09:32 / 12.09.05

I recommend giving it up entirely. A life without alcohol is surprisingly easy, if a little boring in the pub. After a while you wonder why you bothered because it all tastes so utterly vile (except for snakebite and White Russians).

Essential Dazzler

11:43 / 12.09.05

I'm fine with not drinking, it's just that everytime I do drink, I always have one too many. Not being a particularly social animal, the only consequneces are usually incoherent posts on here.

Although Absinthe always leads to vile outbursts like calling one of my best friends a fucking retard, lashing out at my parents, and shouting about loving Satan near a religious group on Holiday.

Lilly Nowhere Late

11:47 / 12.09.05

I saw you Nina with a can of beer in hand and put to lips on Saturday night. I'm pretty sure weren't just holding it for someone. Didn't actually see you drunk tho that I know of...

Tryphena Absent

11:49 / 12.09.05

If I did that it was someone else's can and I was pretending to drink it. I have back up, Flyboy, Kit-Cat and a whole host of other people can confirm that I drank no beer (especially out of a can. If I was going to drink beer and go for the allergy I'd definitely drink out of a bottle).

I'm Rick Jones, bitch

12:00 / 12.09.05

OK, so about three or four years back a few of us went to a shitty local gig and I got wasted on Jacky D.

While I have no memory of such, when we got to the guy giving us a lift's car I was fucking hammered. I have only once been that drunk before. There were six of us, and I couldn't walk.

Guess who got put in the boot?

Anyway. They didn't dump me outside my house - they dumped me near a girl I sort of lived near. Somehow my alkie-spidey sense got me home before 2pm.

So guess what I found out last week?

The guy who was driving was pissed. And he took us home at 110mph.

Never again.

12:53 / 12.09.05

I'm usually halfway through the last beer when I realize that I should never have opened it. It's not that I get violent or careless or suffer from anything entertaining -- I get stomach cramps. Bad ones. Bad enough to leave a half-empty beer sitting on the table as I stagger off for home.

The worst thing is that I do it again and again.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

13:52 / 12.09.05

I'm actually finding myself throwing away at least half of my last can of the day. Believe me, that's a sign of something good. I never used to realise I'd had too many until I woke up on the train after going back and forth a couple of times (and we're not just talking about across London, either).

This is my life. I'm 33 years old, apparently.

12:06 / 13.09.05

Shurely not as bad as the time you drank the aftershave, though?

The last time I carried on drinking, when I swore I was only going to pop into the pub for "just one pint"... well, I wound up getting home at 5:30 in the morning after consuming more pints and an entire bottle's worth of cheap Spanish wine. Oh, my head hurt the next day, but it was worth it because I had fun. (insert huge cheshire cat style grin here)

15:34 / 13.09.05

Now that I think about it, this only happens with beer. I've never said "Oh fuck, I shouldn't have poured this last glass of bourbon" or "Oh fuck, I shouldn't have had this last glass of wine."

Relevant?

08:03 / 14.09.05

It's all the calories and yeasty b-vitamin goodness. Beer helps us play!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

08:11 / 14.09.05

Shurely not as bad as the time you drank the aftershave, though?

We prefer not to talk about that.

13:22 / 14.09.05

That's not true. You seem to tell that story all the time!

19:22 / 14.09.05

Mine was a while back at uni when what promised to be a classic night had rapidly fizzled out, leaving myself and a friend with mot of the night's alcohol supplies at our disposal. We thought, since it had been raining all day, that now it was dry we should drink outside. Then we decided fuck it we'll drink on the roof. So we negotiated the ledge of my friend's fourth floor window, clambered on top of next door's loft conversion and somehow scrambled over the roof to the other side where there was a better view of the city. It was only on trying to get back and slipping down the soaking slates to near-death (shredded a pair of jeans in the process) that we realised our lunacy. That and when the hangover hit. Great fun though.

19:38 / 14.09.05

My brother told me today that I had regailed my parents with all my experiences on magic mushrooms while drunk - annoyingly I have absolutely no recollection of this whatsoever.

I swear one of these days I'm giving up alcohol.

20:32 / 14.09.05

But did you really?

Brothers. Tricky.

21:22 / 14.09.05

My boyfriend got boozed at a no drinking wedding (after I told him not to, mind you). He got pulled over, DUI. Of course, the court cases and what not.

But what's been getting him is all the embarrasment of not having a license and thus not being able to prove age to drink out. Or at any other function.

For example, my boyfriend and I got carded when we went to go see 40 Year Old Virgin. For me, being seventeen, this is normal. My boyfriend is 25, so this is already embarrasing, but he doesn't have a proof of age, so he's blocking up the line to get into the movie. Looking quite like the fool.

I haven't seen the few times he's been out to a strip joint with friends, though he's severely cut the trips due to this embarrasment. I don't mind much; it means he spends more time with me.

But I didn't know just how bad it embarrased him until today.

I had an hour before my next class, and he had jury duty that day that ended early. He was going to run into my college to eat lunch with me and then go into work for the last half of the day. Easy peasy.

First he got lost. All's well, but he's already frustrated. Then, he goes up to the visitor's gate. It does not cross my mind that they are going to ask him for his license. They do. He says, I have the probation license and a picture ID. Apparently the guy gives him shit. Cars line up behind my poor baby.

For some odd reason, they could not let him drive around and exit through the parking. The cars behind him had to get into reverse for him to get into reverse and leave.

So don't drink.