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Alex is leaving Barbelith for a while.

 
 
Alex's Grandma
22:49 / 01.09.05
Hello everyone. I am Alex's grandma. He has told me so much about you all, and I feel a little strange. But I am very proud of him, and I would be anyway even if he wasn't doing so well in his career! Well I don't mean to boast, but (talking out of turn here, he did ask me not to mention it, the silly lad, why hide your light under a bushel is what I always say,) the (excuse an old lady!) very important company he works for has paid for him to spend a whole month at a nice hotel in the country, it is called The Priory, I think. It must be nice work if you can get it!

So until he is back at his desk, he has asked me to 'stand in' for him. So I have had a glass of port and a glass of milk stout and a glass of Baileys, as he told me I should do, the naughty boy, and it is lovely to meet you all.

I look forward to many happy conversations!
 
 
Alex's Grandma
22:57 / 01.09.05
Ps I have recently been having some worries of an intimate nature, and my grandson has told me that some of you are GP's.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
23:03 / 01.09.05
Welcome aboard you loveable old Battleaxe...
 
 
Tryphena Absent
23:04 / 01.09.05
I am a GP, please tell me all of your problems Alex's Grandma.
 
 
Sax
06:15 / 02.09.05
Ah. This is so embarrassing to see you here, Mrs Grandma. Sorry about that little "incident" in June at the Twilight Pastures Residential Home for the Permanently Bewildered. I hadn't been doing bed baths for too long and, despite what was said at the tribunal, my hand really did slip. Between you and me, though, the look on your face told me you enjoyed it as much as I did.
 
 
Ganesh
06:20 / 02.09.05
Didn't someone do this before? It was a mock-suicide last time.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
06:23 / 02.09.05
Ah yes, the tragic end of young Bop, and the wholesale slaughter of his relatives which followed soon after.
 
 
40%
06:51 / 02.09.05
I'm a GP too...
 
 
Jub
07:32 / 02.09.05
me too!
 
 
Smoothly
08:05 / 02.09.05
I'm a GP, and so's my wife.
 
 
Psych Safeling
08:28 / 02.09.05
My parents are BOTH GPs. AND my uncle's an anaesthetist. So I know more about medicine than the rest of you goons put together. Come with me, Alex's Grandma. Pop yourself down on that couch. We'll just get you out of this burdensome cardigan and nylon dress, ooh, and that petticoat, and the vest, and those stockings, and whatever THAT is supposed to be... there. Now we can get started.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
09:05 / 02.09.05
Dear Alex's Grandma, are you a queer granny, and do you have any kiss-kiss bears?
 
 
Mourne Kransky
09:05 / 02.09.05
I'm an Incontinence Nurse. Come with me, my pretty....
 
 
Whisky Priestess
15:07 / 02.09.05
Oh you guys ... leave the poor old lady alone.

Alex's Grandma:

WOULD YOU LIKE A WERTHER'S ORIGINAL, DEAR?

... A WERTHER'S ORIGINAL!

... IT'S SORT OF A TOFFEE.

... OH ... DENTURES? NEVER MIND THEN.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
15:31 / 02.09.05
DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE TOILET???
 
 
haus of fraser
15:37 / 02.09.05
someone get alex back- it appears his grandma has died- or fallen into a coma, shes been like that all day and not a peep out of her.

Maybe shes just sleeping heavily?

someone take her pulse?


(softly)
nana wake up...

Nana?

Nana?


NAAAANAAAAA!!!
 
 
Alex's Grandma
16:24 / 02.09.05
I am sorry everyone, and I do thank you all for your concern, especially that nice young Mr Stoatie, such a thoughful lad, I can tell. But frankly, since that young lady offered to 'smack me up' this afternoon in one of your other lovely fora, it has been running through me like water, it has, and I have hardly been able to leave the smallest room.

I would like to publicly to state though, just for the record, that I have no recollection of the incident to which Mr Sex refers above. And that consequently, I was not traumatised by it in any way. Although how a man like that manages to get his name in anything other than the headlines of The Sun, I'll never know.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
22:24 / 02.09.05
There, there, Dear... Try not to get excited. Here, have a wee sherry and calm yourself down.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
22:37 / 02.09.05
"Wee sherry"? I'm sure I got someone to drink "wee cider" once... as I recall, they didn't like it much.
 
  
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