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It's really cold outside

Tryphena Absent

15:39 / 25.08.05

Put on your coats and mittens. I'm worried about you. You think you're superhuman, you never dress up warm enough. I don't want you to catch a cold.

Lilly Nowhere Late

20:18 / 25.08.05

It's even colder inside Nina, stoke up that fire.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

21:15 / 25.08.05

It's actually quite nice when the weather gets grim if you work a night shift. You wake up in the afternoon and fell ABSOLUTELY NO GUILT WHATSOEVER about not being arsed to leave your cosy room. (Or your could-be-cosy-but-is-actually-a-tip room, depending on whether or not you're me).

Mon Oncle Ignatius

21:26 / 25.08.05

It could be cosy if you brought the stuff in your room even closer around you. Then you would feel very warm indeed, I imagine, paper and plastic being excellent insulators. A veritable cocoon of CDs, comics and books, warmed by the spinning of a hard drive and the lambent heat of the processor in your computer.

All you need now is some hot buttered elves.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

21:28 / 25.08.05

I misread that as "hot buttered Elvis" which, you have to admit, would make a GREAT exclamation.

Tryphena Absent

21:29 / 25.08.05

Mmmmm elves... no wait, that's not right.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

21:35 / 25.08.05

As in "holy fucking hot buttered Elvis, Batman!", perhaps?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

21:36 / 25.08.05

Yeah. Kind of "what the hot buttered Elvis do you think you're doing with that goat???" sort of thing.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

21:38 / 25.08.05

"I was just keeping it warmmmmm."

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

22:26 / 25.08.05

Damn, it really IS cold out there. I love England! Cold summers! What a novelty! Not like our 33C summers in Toronto.

Goodness Gracious Meme

22:42 / 25.08.05

Not only cold down here. Cold, windy and rainy.

Then, once you've struggled across town with a broken umbrella and big coat:

Hot, dry and sunny.

Whaaa?

Tryphena Absent

22:57 / 25.08.05

Soon it will be Autumn. The best season.

23:15 / 25.08.05

It's noty perhaps commonly known that Madame Nina has responsibility for the whole of the London weather systems now. She and Mordant were magickal meteorological partners in crime, sharing an office and cauldron in north London for some years, until Mordant was called to greater things (witness the current Spanish drought after she spirited all the rain away to the Danube plain).

So, your feigned concern is all very well, Wincey Willis, but could you throw a few Noses of Turks and Tartars' lips in the cauldron and arrange a heatwave for the Bank Holiday weekend please.

Tryphena Absent

23:23 / 25.08.05

I can try but the Colonel tells me that he wants it cold. If he leaves the room again I'll tweak it.

Lilly Nowhere Late

05:47 / 26.08.05

Nina you must be sooooo happy. As it's been autumn all elvis fucking summer! I hate cold summers. I make it my mission to destroy your evil elvis weather adulteration machine and bring back desert climes to all!

Mon Oncle Ignatius

11:18 / 26.08.05

The not-hot buttered Elvis summer can kiss my hot buttered elves goodbye, it seems. Warm weather is on it's way... in Portugal anyhow, near a nice open fire at least.

11:23 / 26.08.05

All the evidence I ever needed - Gloria the deaf toothless old cat has reappeared on my lap, having disappeared sometime in May when the sun came out. Soon it will be hot water bottles at bedtime time (her, not me).

ONLY NICE THINGS

12:02 / 26.08.05

Well, the weather outside is frightful, but the company's so delightful...

Actually, the weather is really nice. I can now start wearing big comfy jumpers without fear of sweat, and will become a kindly uncle until March. Rock.

12:06 / 26.08.05

No you can't. It's been alternately hot/sunny and cold/rainy every day this week. Actually, yesterday it was both during different periods.

It makes it utterly impossible to choose a hat in the morning.

Tryphena Absent

13:32 / 26.08.05

As it's been autumn all elvis fucking summer

Erm, only for you, for the rest of us it's actually been a pretty warm sunshiney summer this year.

Our Lady Has Left the Building

14:08 / 26.08.05

< Tries to imagine Haus as kindly old man at C&A >

< Head explodes >

Ouch!

Lilly Nowhere Late

17:22 / 26.08.05

Freaks

Lilly Nowhere Late

18:57 / 26.08.05

Do you people not realize that in the SUMMER, one is supposed to be hot, to be exposed to sun, to be able to go out of the house without cardigans to hand and to not have to turn one's central heating on in July or August? One is supposed to experience days on end of blistering sweltering steamy heat (and that means mor(e than 1 1/2 days, btw)so that all one can stand to wear is not much or nothing. One should get too many freckles and forget about skin cancer briefly. One's mind is supposed to clear of all gloomy greyness and thoughts of rich food so that one can think straight or not at all. One is supposed to pour bottled water over one's head and not care about frizzy hair as a result but revel in the cooling wetness of it. One is supposed to spend long late nights in beer gardens not worrying about one's blue toes or whether one's child is going to catch pnuemonia. One is just supposed to be warm.
I want to be warm. At least for a few weeks a year. Is it really too much to ask as I'm trapped here and cannot leave lest I be electrocuted?

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

20:08 / 26.08.05

Then, once you've struggled across town with a broken umbrella and big coat:

My umbrella was in perfect working order before I came to your crazy country. In one hour of use it was completly destroyed.

So I've decided that I'm annexing the British cold, taking it back to Canada with me, but I'm leaving you with your weather patterns. I just want my cold.

20:11 / 26.08.05

Disappointed in you, Nina, Ma'am! Definite chill in the air still. I may have to go over to dark side and sacrifice a chicken or two to a local Sunshine God.

Our Lady Has Left the Building

08:33 / 27.08.05

Bard, I thought it was plenty chilly in Canada already. Due to exhaustive watching of the true-life Mountie documentary Due South I thought it was a country of permanent snow.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

08:36 / 27.08.05

Maybe Bard is kindly offering to take the cold away and leave the warm only? That would be quite nice of hir.

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

02:36 / 28.08.05

Him. And I'll take the cold air with me. I wish I had. Its too hot outside. The proper temperature for a climate is 15C. Not 26.

Canada is cold in the fall, winter, and early spring. But the summer is an oven. A hot, humid oven. I'll say this about Britain, it wasn't very humid...well...most of the time. Its humid here. Which is just awful. Raises a temperature of 27 to an effective 38. Just plain evil.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

08:05 / 28.08.05

Him

Hello Sir!

The humidity is what ruins Britain's (or more specifically London's, due to the river) attempts at hot weather half the time - it's never a really dry heat, but I guess by comparison to Canada (or the Deep South of the USA for that matter) it isn't that bad.

10:04 / 28.08.05

According to Stoatie, "It's actually quite nice when the weather gets grim if you work a night shift."

Yeah, until you have to go outside at 4 am to smoke a cigarette. I really like summer nights. I get cold really easily, so winter nights are way too cold.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

18:44 / 28.08.05

Yeah, you're not wrong there, actually.