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How do you feel about your body?

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15:04 / 17.08.05

Many years ago, I was described like this:

"Saw [Squirmelia] for the first time yesterday. She seemed to me a little strange at first - perhaps that's the wrong term - 'different to the majority of people encountered' would be better. Strikes me she's an exclusively cerebral person, living almost entirely in her mind, and sometimes in the minds of others. The physical plane for her is somewhere to visit, frequently perhaps - not somewhere to live though."

At that point, I probably did see my body as just something to carry my mind around in (or to use as a device to type with), and despite knowing that there were fatal flaws in the concept of mind/body separation, wished it could be true and that I could rid myself of a body entirely. The thing that always bothered me the most about having a body was just how little I seemed able to control it and how flawed my mind is because of that- I am uncoordinated, I fail to make the facial expressions that show how I'm actually feeling, conversing through speech sometimes seems difficult, my body decays and I seem unable to stop it, the physical world often seems alien, other people's bodies simply a threat.

These days, I try to get my mind to experience the outside world through my body more and more. I crouch down as if I'm going to tie up my shoes and then just touch the pavement; I tear the gnobbly bits off acorns and feel just how smooth they are inside; I spin around and around in the lift; I mosh; I try not to kayak too frequently. In regards to healing - my body has recently healed an injury it had for almost a decade, so I can now see it is not just there to decay and age.

I'm hoping that I'm not exclusively cerebral anymore, although it is still often tempting to live that kind of life and to ignore my body as much as possible.

15:09 / 17.08.05

In general, I have nowt to complain about. My body can go where it needs to go, do what it needs to do, and to some extent appear how I wish it to appear. In particular I like me feet, my never hurting can walk anywhere feet. I also like my hands - as hands go relatively elegant and coordinated. I even like the claw of a deformed right hand I have, so that even though it holds me back from certain things (getting a consistent harp technique being one) I only feel frustration, not resentment. I live a lot in my hands - they traverse across space for me, accurately find strings in the dark and generally are a pleasure to use. I'm curious to know if anyone else who types or plays an instrument a lot gets this too.

The only downside to this body is that it breaks quite frequently and I find myself not doing something I want/need to *again* because I feel sick / tired / muddle-headed. I long to be consistently healthy. Oh ye with happy and healthy bodies, rejoice! I shall one day join you, I have decided.

16:44 / 17.08.05

Hmm. I've never quite forgiven my body for doing the dirty, metabolism-wise, in my mid-20s. Previously, I could eat pretty much anything and never put on weight; suddenly, there was a bit of a gut - and then a lot of a gut. So... I'm a pot-bellied ectomorph. In gayer terms, this means I fall between the celebrated body types: I'm no longer skinny enough to carry off the wasted indie-kid look, but I'm not bulky/stocky enough to be a convincing bear; and, God knows, I've never built muscle.

I suppose I'm affected by (gay) media representations, then, in this half-joking-or-am-I kinda way. It's not that I particularly mind my belly (it's actually quite comforting, a convenient place to rest my laptop), but I'm conscious of having spindly arms, nonexistent biceps and a rather apologetic chest. The lack of upper body strength can be frustrating in a functional sense too, when I find myself unable to lift or carry things.

The thing is, although it bothers me on a faint-but-insistent level, my body's appearance has never troubled me to the extent that I've ever managed to devote sufficient time/energy to altering it. I've flirted (and continue to flirt) with the gym, but am too flibbertigibbet to properly commit. Like Grant, I like to swim, and adore the sensation of being covered, supported, sliding through water. I've never consistently swum as a form of exercise, though.

I like messing around with the way I present my body - the paintwork and window-dressing rather than the heavier structural stuff - and enjoy haircuts, beardie-twiddling and dressing up.

I'm okay with it, really. There are things I'd change, but only if changing involved negligible effort.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

21:01 / 18.08.05

I was feeling great about my body, until I read this thread and began to feel vain. What's worse, my looks and muscles and super-metabolism are apparently going to disappear realtively soon, hidden under a layer of insulating fat or wrinkles or whatever. Well fuck it. At least I had some fun looking lovely when I had the chance.

I have muscles, although they are mostly just for show. My frame is too slight to have a decent amount of real mass (no matter how much I work out, I'm never over 150 lbs., and I'm six feet tall) so I just shape what's there into pleasing forms. None of it's very useful...I mean, what good are washboard abs, right? I can't even move furniture with 'em. It's all ornamental. The only useful muscle development is in regard to balance, which doesn't really show much on the surface, and in my forearms and fingers 'cause of music.

And I've got good hair, strong teeth and bones, some cool scars, etc...but all that's vanity too, I guess. Its all gonna disappear at some point anyway. Even the hair, which I've been so proud of...(sob) Stupid genetics. I'm totally banking on a future cure that doesn't involve taking hair from my ass and putting it on my head, which is really gross, even if it works.

So yeah, I feel great about my body. Which is only going to make it worse when it goes to shit because I can't stop smoking and eating whatever the hell I want. Fortunately, I only started feeling confident about it roughly four or five years ago, and since then I've realized you can feel confident about a bunch of things regardless of how you look. Besides, a little discipline can keep things in basic shape if it's really that important. And I also realized if someone or something makes you feel ugly, it's okay to think "Well, they're fucking dumb, and probably crazy, so who cares".

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

21:07 / 18.08.05

I live a lot in my hands - they traverse across space for me, accurately find strings in the dark and generally are a pleasure to use. I'm curious to know if anyone else who types or plays an instrument a lot gets this too.

I totally dig my slightly oversized hands. Long strong fingers rule. Good for many musical instruments. Plus I'm a tactile sort of person anyway. Typing, though, I feel is sort of a waste for my fingers.

22:23 / 18.08.05

I was feeling great about my body, until I read this thread and began to feel vain.

Yes,I was quite surprised about how vain some people on this thread are!
(Surprised they could put the mirror down long enough to type...)

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

23:06 / 18.08.05

?

eh...yeah, okay.

I'd like to have the body of an orangutan. In a jar.

12:24 / 19.08.05

Golias: What are you saying exactly? Anyone who likes their body is vain? Personally, I was realy pleased at all the positve images and identifications people have regardless of size and shape. I found these a lot more engaging than your blithe "I don't care, me". Are you saying that anybody who doesn't express the same disregard as yourself is a narcisstic nancy?

Tuna Ghost: My frame is too slight to have a decent amount of real mass I think you can bulk up if you really want to - see bodybuilding diets etc. I find the whole discipline fascinating, not because I'd like to be super-muscular but because of the idea of willed change applied to your physical frame in that way. A friend of mine met someone very into extremes of body modifcation
a few years ago, she related it to him being hospitalised and confined as a child - some kind of desire to play with the body imprinted in quite a deep way.

13:32 / 19.08.05

I'm too short.

13:54 / 19.08.05

I have let myself go.

Whisky Priestess

15:18 / 19.08.05

I wish I were a little bit taller (I'm 5ft 8")

I wish I were a baller, too, but that's a whole different thread.

All Acting Regiment

17:09 / 19.08.05

Hmm. I think it can be really dangerous to worry too much about your own body. We're encouraged to do this by being plastered with imagery of "standard" (ultrathin, ultratoned) men and women in the media.

I think if we learned to be more concerned about other people's bodies- in the sense of their physical wellbeing, the needs and wants of a friend or lover- we might be on the way to a nicer society.

The Natural Way

17:39 / 19.08.05

@ the beginning of 04 I was 13 stn, by April this year I was 9.5. To this day I still feel tubby, inspite of constant reassurance & mirrors. People seem 2 have difficulty understanding how fucking dismorphic I feel & that "yr SOOOO fat" jokes just aren't funny. I don't pretend I'm seriously mentally ill or anything, but I understand where that stuff's coming from. I just have no accurate mental image of my size and it's bleeding irritating.

The Natural Way

17:40 / 19.08.05

It's the blokes that are the worst. I really don't know how to "have a sense of humour about it".

The Natural Way

17:42 / 19.08.05

But @ the the same time I don't want to be coddled. YrrgAArgh! Grr. I don't know....

19:15 / 19.08.05

Golias: What are you saying exactly? Anyone who likes their body is vain?

I am in no way critiscising those who have expressed joy in their own bodies(for this is good for healthy wellbeing), but I feel that some posters may be too deep in their own self lovin'.

They can check this out to see where they stand : )

Is this you?

19:22 / 19.08.05

Gotta love yourself before you can love anyone else.

ONLY NICE THINGS

20:37 / 19.08.05

I am in no way critiscising those who have expressed joy in their own bodies(for this is good for healthy wellbeing), but I feel that some posters may be too deep in their own self lovin'.

Well, yes. Because anyone who is happier with their bodies than you are is narcissistic. Anyone less happy unhealthily self-loathing. Anyone who is fatter than you is obese, anyone who is thinner than you is a stick insect, blah blah fishcakes. We have been through this so, so many times, with so, so many people. None of them have exaclty been pulling up trees in the Selfawaria Tree-Pulling Championships.

You may, perhaps, have something more worthwhile to add. Now might be a very good time to do it.

20:54 / 19.08.05

Plotting someone's place on the GoodBodyImage->Vain->Narcicistic continuum is a bit subjective, isn't it? A person could see my post as being the height of conceit, but I see myself as being positive, preferring to look at the good points rather than the laundry list of bad points.

Should I be humorously self-deprecating? Should I put up a false humility so as not to offend others?

On preview- "You're so vain, I bet you thought this post was about you..."

22:07 / 19.08.05

Because anyone who is happier with their bodies than you are is narcissistic
Lol, I'm very content with how I look but I wouldn't feel comfortable bragging I was good looking. I didn't mean to hurt anyones feelings or put anyone on the defensive about their stunning good looks. Apologies, I wont post about it again.

I have heard tales of folks getting jobs over more qualified applicants because of their looks.
I treat everyone the same regardless of looks but I have met people who feel they are more beautiful than others and so deserve preferential treatment(as I'm sure we all have).Vice Versa, some people feel they are less beautiful and blame their looks on their shortcomings, I suppose.
Are peoples perceptions of themselves to blame or is it the way others percieve them in such situations?
I think considering yourself beautiful would certainly boost your confidence.
e.g
Four people (below) go for a job, all with the same qualifications and experience.Who gets the job?Is confidence more important than looks?Or does it depend on the interviewer?

1)Beautiful and confident.
2)Beautiful and insecure.
3)Ugly and confident.
4)Ugly and insecure.

(to be honest I can't make my mind up,now I've typed it,lol)

Whisky Priestess

22:25 / 19.08.05

1)
3)
2)
4)
in that order, unless I miss my guess.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

10:44 / 21.08.05

I think you can bulk up if you really want to - see bodybuilding diets etc.

Yeah, my friend says this all the time. It's an attractive prospect--it'd be cool to be able to fill out a shirt that's bigger than a medium. But a drastic change in my diet is just not in the cards, and I'm happy being a wiry little bastard.

I find the whole discipline fascinating, not because I'd like to be super-muscular but because of the idea of willed change applied to your physical frame in that way.

Definately. Plus it puts your awareness of your body on another level. You start noticing energy levels and joint/muscle movements and shit like that, as well as the effects of different foods or stimulants. Very neat stuff.

unheimlich manoeuvre

14:39 / 21.08.05

This is suprisingly difficult...
I was fat, God it was awful when the Goonies came out I was 10 and got called Chunk so many times. Unhappy so comfort eating so unhappy so comfort eating. Usual story.
The last couple of years I've changed the way I look with regular exercise and healthier meals. I've lost more than three stone and look better than I did a decade ago, even though I still drink and smoke.
My flatmate is a fitness fanatic who does gymnastics and breakdancing. On a good day he inspires me to better myself. On a bad day it's pure self-loathing.

Ohhh.. and recently I noticed gray hairs.

Tryphena Absent

16:00 / 21.08.05

I didn't mean to hurt anyones feelings or put anyone on the defensive about their stunning good looks.

But Golias no one in this thread has claimed that they're good looking. And I know that because I just checked the entire thread because the great thing about message boards is that posts don't conveniently disappear. The reason so many people are calling you to question is because none of us understand where you think this vanity has been expressed. Almost everyone who has said they quite like their bodies has said that this was after years of affirmation from other people or they've found something to criticise about it despite being vaguely comfortable about themselves. This thread is about specifically divulging your true feelings about your body- its appearance or function. It asks you to dwell on it and reveal your emotions, how a real response to that query is vain is totally fucking unclear to me.

Golias your responses have made me angrier and angrier. Your response is trying to inhibit a thread that invites honesty and sharing, condemning it as vanity. That's complete toss and I'm not in the mood to deal with it, if you feel blase about your body that's fine and you've told us that but most people don't because we interact and use them everyday and that provokes complicated feeling that is incredibly difficult to write down. There is nothing wrong or vain about liking the body that you use constantly and there is nothing vain about being intent on changing it or your appearance or enjoying the way that you look in the mirror.

17:53 / 21.08.05

I love it when my body and mind work to gether to sing--hitting a C above the treble clef effortlessly is magical. I was listening to a real diva talking about voice training and how virtually all the muscles involved are involuntary ones so you have to do a tremendous amount of visualization and play to gain any sort of control over them. When the stars align, I can do this. I'm not disciplined enough to make it consistent, mainly.

I'm one of those who immediately thought of weight on reading this thread's title because I've spent my whole adult life in the "cute but could stand to lose 5-10-15-20-25 lbs." category. More towards the higher end of that scale than the lower end, alas. I like reading and have to push myself to get the exercise; I have to remember how it feels so good and rushy after the crunches are done. But I pretty much do it--3 times a week, aerobics and weights.

But! It's an amazing thing this body, as so many of you have pointed out! It is sexy! It is capable of multiple orgasms! Female ejaculation! Running 5 miles! Dancing! Sweating up a storm! Cooking great food! Tasting great food! Deeply enjoying a full-body massage! Thinking complex thoughts and writing good arguments! Touching my lover and making him happy! Getting drunk and still not having too bad of a hangover, if I just drink some water, take a painkiller, and get some good sleep in.

But these "freckles" all over my late-thirties arms! I worked hard in the sun throughout my youth and my arms tell the tale. I try to like them, but they definitely tell me: you are mortal. You will die. This body will not function forever, and the end is often quite painful, full of horrors, alas.

21:28 / 21.08.05

Well, I feel pretty goddamn proud of mine now it's got another little one inside it. (Very little, though, so no sharing with meatspace yet.)

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

21:29 / 21.08.05

But Golias no one in this thread has claimed that they're good looking.

To be fair, I meant to make that claim. I thought I had, actually. I'm definately guilty of allowing a certain level of vanity in myself (although all it takes to bring my self-image down a peg or two is noticing an eye-booger or random skin blemish halfway through the day).

Anyway, Golais said he wouldn't post about it anymore, right? He's being a lot more polite about this than other posters caught in the same situation have been in the past. Why not let him off with fifty lashes instead of the usual three-hundred and thirty-three?

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

21:38 / 21.08.05

Well...let's see...

I love my hair. Love it love it love it. I also think that I have nice shoulders and legs, and I should for the amount of work I have put into them. My problem, though, is I eat crappy food at bad hours, and have amazing amounts of stress in my life, so I am about 25 - 35 pounds overweight.

I would love to drop it, but first, I need to be able to get the the gym 4 times a week, and get home in time enough to eat a real meal, instead of grabbing something and shoving it in my pie hole in the car or when I get home and have to turn around and wake up for work in 7 hours.

Tryphena Absent

15:06 / 22.08.05

He's being a lot more polite about this than other posters caught in the same situation have been in the past.

Yeah but he's totally failed to explain what he means, instead he's changed the subject because he knows it was unexamined and untrue. The problem isn't whether he's rude now, he's already been rude by dismissing people's opinions about their own bodies.

Goodness Gracious Meme

15:33 / 22.08.05

Fascinating thread. Am also loving the range of responses over here.

Just popped in to mention that me and my body feel great, although exhausted, after an amazing night of dancing on Saturday.

Like other people here, I love my body particularly when it is the reason I am able me to do wonderful things, for example, dance constantly for 4 hours on a sip of beer, spacing out and letting the music take it over.

I'm now knackered, but my body and me feel lovely for it, lots of pleasant aches.

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