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Doom: teh Movie, teh sUxx0r.

 
 
Phex: Dorset Doom
13:04 / 28.07.05
Official site at the surprisingly named Doom Movie.com
A trailer is up and it looks a lot like the movie has finished shooting. The Rock (Dwayne Johnson if you want to kill homeboy's buzz) and some other actors I know even less about are Space Marines sent to a research facility on Mars to answer a distress call, then ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. (Y'see what I did there, it's Doom and, um, Hell... I'll stop now).
This film maybe, possibly, could elevate itself above AvP and Resident Evil if it concentrates on the more disturbing side of Doom's horror aesthetic than the straight up 'it has big teeth and jumps out of a cupboard at you' stuff. Otherwise I can't see it being anything other than mediocre bullet porn.
 
 
iamus
13:25 / 28.07.05
Seeing as that's pretty much the game's remit, then I wouldn't expect much else.

Looks like Hollywood's anticipating the comicbook bubble bursting and is continuing its move into the plundering of videogame ip...
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
13:27 / 28.07.05
It involves Dexter Fletcher, who will almost certainly be disembowelled horribly and then turned into a zombie and disembowelled _again_.

I can't see how this will be a bad idea.

I saw Dhobi Opari at the RSC, you know. I wonder if he's glad about how it all turned out...
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
10:15 / 04.08.05
Any film with The Rock in it will be good for at least the bits which have The Rock in them. This is Film Fact.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
10:17 / 04.08.05
The Rock: Damn, we need a red key for this door!

Someone Else: OK. Oh look, there it is, slap bang in the middle of that big empty room, totally undefended.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
10:37 / 04.08.05
Trailer looks like sub-standard 'Aliens' (right down to using the same props for weaponry etc.) but without the Giger aliens, and with shitty equity-rate Hollywood waiters in latex masks instead.

Is Paul W Anderson at the helm by any chance?
 
 
Lord Morgue
11:09 / 04.08.05
No demons? Mutants? Ergh, sounds like one of those Uwe Boll slaps-in-the-face. "Ha ha, you give me money to insult you!"
 
 
All Acting Regiment
11:12 / 04.08.05
Legba gets facetious:

DOOM, as in the original video game, is scarier than this.

DOOM 3, as in the new video game, is a better filum than this.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
11:21 / 04.08.05
This film maybe, possibly, could elevate itself above AvP and Resident Evil if it concentrates on the more disturbing side of Doom's horror aesthetic

Confused now. Is Doom disturbing? How?
 
 
nedrichards is confused
11:58 / 04.08.05
Some of those sprite scaling issues are HELLACIOUS.

See what I did there? And yes, this is overlit and has no demons. Thus the point of an adaptation of a game about demons... Me I'm waiting for the Return to Castle Wolfenstein movie.
 
 
Phex: Dorset Doom
11:59 / 04.08.05
The more spooky satanic stuff as opposed to the straight Aliens-style horror. Doom, and especially Doom 3 has a whole bunch of scenes that make you go 'bluuuuueeehh' (the altars built by scientists who have been driven insane, the walls mutating in to red goo), and they'd translate well to a film's design.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
12:24 / 04.08.05
Haha! 'Design', you see? Tripped at the first hurdle, methinks.
 
 
bjacques
14:40 / 04.08.05
I'll see it as long as they use the writer of the DOOM comic book. They can save a lot of money just having one actor.

Such a movie would have everything. It would be a triumph of the human spirit:

"At this particular moment in time I don't believe I have a healthier or more deeply-felt respect for any object in the universe than this here shotgun..."

"Lord Almighty, I feel my temperature risin'"


Pathos:

"Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good!"

"Who do you suppose left all that radioactive waste down there? And why? WHY?"

A trenchant message for today:

"Why can't we find a way to safely dispose of radioactive waste and protect the environment? Even if I personally stop this alien invasion, what kind of planet will we be leaving to our children? And our children's children. And...oh, the humanity!

Renewal of faith, so needed in these dark, post-11/9 times:

"Death surrounds me, yet in my head I hear something that sounds like angels!" "Lo! I have found the Holy Grail of firepower!"

Love:

Mine eyes can but weep as they bear witness to the majesty...the BFG 9000!"

And apotheosis:

"As I stride knee deep through the dead, all is clear. I know what must be done...My cause is just...my will is strong...

...and my gun is very large!"



But what does "BUDDA BUDDA BUDDA" *sound* like? Does a chaingun have BUDDA-nature?
 
 
lord nuneaton savage
15:04 / 04.08.05
"I've got a handful of vertebrae and a head full of mad"

I'm phoning my ghostwriter. My autobiography must be retitled.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
15:04 / 04.08.05
"Honey, I'm just going out to mow the lawn."
"Sure, sweetkins."
"Well, gosh, there seems to be some kind of hideous, flame-throwing demon trampling the chrysanthemums...Get my chain-gun, will you?"

DOOM 2- THE BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA OF SUBURBIA
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:24 / 04.08.05
I love you.
 
 
Warewullf
15:30 / 04.08.05
Um, it doesn't look like DOOM...
It's all shiny and pretty. DOOM is dark and lumpy and nasty-looking.
 
 
Gypsy Lantern
08:19 / 05.08.05
You think the Doom film is going to be shit?
You think the Doom film is not going to be disturbing enough?
You think the Doom film is going to have poor acting and cheap special effects?

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!!!
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
10:12 / 05.08.05
This fall... some mutant jabrones and that guy-with-the-scowly-eyebrows from 'The Two Towers' and 'Chronicles Of You Can Write This Shit But You Sure As Hell Can't Say It' will be checked into the Smackdown Hotel... if you smell what I'm cookin'.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
10:50 / 05.08.05
What in the BLUE HELL is trying to eat my leg off?

Has the Rock ever done anything wrong? I mean, seriously? Has he ever not been great in whatever role has been given to him?
 
 
iamus
11:20 / 05.08.05
That's the only thing which makes me have any hope for this at all. He grabbed the action-hero crown from the gutter and gave it a damn good spit-polish.
 
 
Lord Morgue
13:37 / 05.08.05
The Rock is a man and a half.

Berzerker packin' man and a half!
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
08:55 / 06.08.05
It's not Walking Tall, or Welcome To The Jungle that did it for me - the fact that he played an outrageously 'out' and tremendously camp bodyguard in Be Cool and was universally cited as the best - possibly only - good thing in the movie, plus his self-deprecating sense of humour, his pretty fearsome intelligence, his immaculate comic timing, his even more perfect action-hero moves, his star-quality charisma... There ain't nothing our Dwayne can't do, given the opportunity, and he's humble enough to see every role as a learning opportunity. He's got the right - even in professional wrestling, he'd have a shelf-life of around up until thirty-five before the risk of crippling injury rose to unmanageable proportions (and the guy's got a family to feed and doesn't want to end up like Droz or Mick Foley), and he's paid his action-hero dues flawlessly several times a week live in house shows, TV broadcasts and on pay-per-view for years, which is more than any other action hero would be expected to do. The Rock is rightly touted as the next big thing, simply because he's the Next Big Thing. The movies he's chosen haven't been great, but he's only starting out. A role in the next Paul Thomas Anderson/Wes Anderson movie would be the serious making of him.
 
 
iamus
12:26 / 06.08.05
his self-deprecating sense of humour, his pretty fearsome intelligence, his immaculate comic timing, his even more perfect action-hero moves, his star-quality charisma...

I've not seen Be Cool, so my only impressions of at this point are based on what I saw of Welcome to the Jungle and Walking Tall, but all the above are amazingly important for a good action hero. He has more charisma and better comic sensibilities than Arnie and Stallone combined, that's what sold him for me. He's always going to have had the action stuff down pat, but it's the beats between where he's really impressed me. The man is watchable in the extreme. I can't wait until he breaks properly and expands his CV.
 
 
Phex: Dorset Doom
15:01 / 06.08.05
Yep, he's going to need every ounce of comic timing to play a demon-possesed space Marine who morphs into a biomechanical killmotron.
 
 
iamus
18:34 / 06.08.05
Those one-liners don't say themselves you know.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
18:59 / 06.08.05
Let's face it, he's never gonna be Rowdy Roddy Piper, is he?
 
 
Gypsy Lantern
08:07 / 08.08.05
Let's face it, he's never gonna be Rowdy Roddy Piper, is he?

I can see him being fantastic in a remake of They Live though...
 
  
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