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"Descartes despised himself utterly; it is this which must be comprehended as one views the meditations. As a mathematician and a clear thinker, he understood the spuriousness of his proofs of God's presence, but, unlike Gallileo, he could not bring himself to pursue that line, in fear of his life. Thus the clearest of contemporary thinkers perceived himself as an obfuscator. This was a man at war with himself, hence both the curious punishment he inflicts upon his waking mind - a morbid fear of ultimate deception - and his fascination with physical pain in increasing doses, which found its expression amonst the prostitutes of the town."
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