What's the use of drinking tea
Indulging in sobriety
and tee-total perversity?
It's healthier to booze!
What's the use of milk and water
These are things that never oughter
Be allowed in any quarter
Come on, lose your blues!
Mix yourself a shandy,
Drown yourself in brandy,
A sherry sweet, a whiskey neat,
Or any kind of liquor that is handy
There's no blinking sense in drinking
Anything that won't make you stinking
There's no happiness like sinking
Blotto to the floor!
Put an end to all frustration
Drinking may be your salvation
End it all in dessication,
Rotten to the core!
Abberations metabolic,
Ceilings that are hyperbolic
These are for the alcoholic
Lying on the floor
Vodka for the arty,
Gin to make you hearty,
Lemonade was only made
For drinking if your mother's at the party
And so stay clear of homemade beer
and anything else not labeled clear
There is nothing else to fear
So Bottom's Up, my boys!
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