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Friday morning in London

  
 
Gypsy Lantern
13:28 / 08.07.05
I thought it might be good to have a thread where people could write about and process their responses to waking up the day after the attacks on London. Did everyone get home alright last night? What did you do when you got in? How are you feeling this morning? What are you up to tonight?

I seemed to move through a pretty weird spectrum of responses yesterday. It makes me cringe when I hear people on the news talking in cliches about "spirit of the blitz" and Londoner's courage and determination in the face of the attacks. But at least from where I was sitting, that's exactly what it felt like yesterday afternoon. It seemed as if a huge wave of tenacity and strength came out of nowhere and enveloped the city. There really was a feeling of: "No. Fuck you. We're not going to show intimidation" and a sense of solidarity that was amazing, considering how hostile and self-absorbed London and Londoners can be sometimes.

It almost felt like there was something in the city itself that knew how to respond to a crisis like this. Like the city has a mental/emotional program for responding to attack that everyone accessed, despite never having been in a situation remotely like this before themselves. They knew what to do and how to cope. I wouldn't like to say that this observation was anything more than my brain creating an emotionally supportive narrative to step into, but these are the sort of things that were going through my head.

I spent all day in the office getting a magazine to press that one of the other editors was struggling with, and there was a point where I really found myself thinking mad things like: "I'm going to fucking well sit here and get this bastard off to the printers - because it's still there and it still needs to be done". And getting that finished became, in some sense, a small act of defiance against the murderers outside.

I left work at about 5pm and got my normal train home without mishap. The first thing that I did was roll a very large joint for me and my flatmate, sit down for an hour and watch some of the news reports. I found myself quite obsessed with activities that I thought might help the people around me mediate themselves back out of the frightening headspace we had all just been caught up in. I think this was really just a coping mechanism to give me something to focus on rather than thinking about the events of the day. But that's OK, cos my coping mechanism involved cooking a really quite extraordinary prawn and vegetable thai stirfry and sorting out a couple of bottles of wine.

As it was a Thursday, I attended to my altar for Erzulie Freda, brought Her fresh flowers, lit Her candles and poured a glass of wine for Her. I did the same at my altar for Oshun, and talked to them both about the events of the day. I drew comfort and support from both of them in different ways, and it felt really good to acknowledge and celebrate things like love, beauty, joy, pleasure and all of the things that make life worth living - which those Goddesses represent - on such an awful day. It felt like a really life affirming little ritual. I also spent a bit of time at my ancestral altar, talked to them about what had happened and how I felt about it, what was going through my mind, and asked for their strength and guidance.

I got a call from a friend who had just moved into a new flat up the road earlier that day and was feeling more than a little shaken. So I called round, bringing gifts of wine, weed and chocolate products. We listened to nice music, got a bit hammered, and I suddenly started to feel waves of post-adrenal relaxation. All day I hadn't been sure if I was taking things in my stride incredibly well, or if it was just adrenalin and the actual reaction had yet to kick in. Still not sure about that to be honest.

This morning I decided to avoid both tubes and rush hour, and got in an hour later than usual. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to actually do any work. Still constantly refreshing barbelith like I was doing all yesterday. Finding it really good to have these threads to talk about all of this stuff on. Looking forward to having a drink with people after work tonight.
 
 
missnoise
13:37 / 08.07.05
i have been pretty out of it - i am apprehsive to taking public transport at the moment. everything was pretty off for me since i had gone up to scotland the day before to go to the G8 protest - which it was pretty rowdy up there too. i just got home today - unable to get back to northern london - couldn't sleep last night - sending mass emails to friends familes strangers people forums - hope everyone is alright.... mmmmm..... but can i say i was quite upset at the people in the pub yesterday laughing about the whole bombing incident while it was being shown on tv - i would like to know more about these responses.
 
 
paranoidwriter waves hello
13:53 / 08.07.05
i would like to know more about these responses.

I guess it's just a coping mechanism: humour. A French guy I used to know was a freelance war photographer during Rwanda and he once told me a story about humour in a crisis. He told me how he and his colleague had been caught in the cross-fire and his colleague got shot badly in the leg. They managed to find a wheelbarrow, but as the bullets were whizzing past their heads my friend tripped over while pushing the barrow down a main dirt road and they both fell over. He said it was such an extreme and yet absurd situation that they rolled about giggling like two naughty kids in a Headmaster's Office.

Similarly, when my Nan died two of my cousins stood before her open casket and burst into tears of laughter. Neither of them could say what was so funny, but we all understood. Extreme times can result in extreme reactions of all kinds, no? (e.g. see the Inappropriate Responses thread)
 
 
Psych Safeling
14:40 / 08.07.05
I am a dreadful giggler-at-times-of-extreme-adversity. It's deeply embarrassing (and self-perpetuating) sometimes, and I have done it multiple times in situations sufficiently inappropriate to prove it's not in any way voluntary. It's somehow located at both ends of my spectrum of behaviours.

I would still instinctively frown on people laughing at the footage, though, particularly if not hysterically/uncontrollably.
 
 
paranoidwriter waves hello
14:52 / 08.07.05
aeon_fluxus, what kind of laughter was it? Was it: "Ha-ha you're all dead and bleeding?". Or, for example (as my friend said when I woke up yesterday): "Bloody Frenchies!" i.e. Dark humour, or schadenfreude?
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
18:47 / 08.07.05
I think I've said this in another thread, but when I went to bed last night I was thinking "it'll be lovely tomorrow to wake up, look out of my window and see that London's still there, waiting for me". Not it "WOULD" be nice, you understand- it "WILL" be nice.

And it was absolutely fucking beautiful. I wanted to hug the street outside.

Thought "fuck it, these bastards aren't gonna change a fucking thing about my life", went to the pub then got on a bus and went to the pictures, like I'd been planning to do today all along.

I totally agree with Gypsy... that whole "spirit of the Blitz" thing has always pissed me off as much as people harking back to the good old days of the Kray Twins... but yesterday I fell in love with the city all over again.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
19:25 / 08.07.05
it felt really good to acknowledge and celebrate things like love, beauty, joy, pleasure and all of the things that make life worth living - which those Goddesses represent - on such an awful day.

That's very moving.
 
  
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