Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.

Underground > Conversation >

I have got a Religion.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

18:40 / 11.06.05

I refer, of course, to the Most Sacred Order of His Jackness of the Fields of Den.

My revelation came whilst reading His Jackness' wise words on his impending homelessness. When Jack Fear (Heretoafter refered to as the False Jack) said:

Jesus FUCK, Denfeld—you "might be homeless soon" and your greatest concern is how you're gonna get your fucking MAIL?!?

...how did the TRUE Jack respond?

It's ok. I've still got a job, I'll get a storage unit to keep my things, rent out a hotel room once a week or so, and save tons of money while I plan my next move. (and I work midnight shift, so I can sleep in the storage unit during the day)

These soft, reassuring words spoke to me in my time of need. If we are homeless, Lo, do we not have a Storage Unit?

Of course, the terms "homeless" and "storage unit" may mean different things to different people at different times, but I think we can all appreciate the message.

Praise the One True Jack!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

18:54 / 11.06.05

Whoah. 'Twas only a scant couple of years ago he became King Of Barbelith. Truly he's a climber.

Praise Jack!

Like Supergran, is there nothing he cannae do?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

18:59 / 11.06.05

Indeed, Brother Stoatie. He was the acknowleged King Of Barbelith. Then he showed his true Godly colours by setting aside that exalted title, and awaiting his true followers in the guise of a humble poster.

Praise Jack!

20:09 / 11.06.05

For it is written (2 Samuel 8):
And the LORD preserved Dimfield whithersoever he went.

paranoidwriter waves hello

20:30 / 11.06.05

Ssshh... Or word will spread of his powers, and you'll get him barred from every "game" in the western world.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:40 / 11.06.05

We need a cards play-off between our Messiah and Champion Jack (see, I'm even actually calling him Jack now) and Morpheus over who gets to read the weather. My money's on Jack.

Praise Jack!

Tryphena Absent

20:53 / 11.06.05

I am in the process of writing a hymn to Denfoshed (it is blasphemy to write his name. You who blaspheme shall be struck down!). I give you the first few lines:

O god,
bless my cards tonight.
Though in life you have no shelter above your head
Continue to show me the light.

That's as far as I've got.

paranoidwriter waves hello

21:17 / 11.06.05

Don't tell anyone, but....sometimes.....I question whether he even exists... (gasp).... I know, I know, it's awful isn't it? I'm a horrible, horrible person, and I must be punished....

Less searchable M0rd4nt

22:30 / 11.06.05

HERETIC!

paranoidwriter waves hello

22:40 / 11.06.05

I know, I know. I'm just asking to be put to the flames.

22:46 / 11.06.05

Sometimes I think that he is dead or just doesn't care anymore but then I see him in a tortoise's smile or in a pattern on a mouldy banana then I know the truth, have faith PW.

alejandrodelloco

22:58 / 11.06.05

Hail Jack!

And then he sayeth: You shall have no Jacks before me, nor Johns, nor Sandras. Especially no Sandras.

paranoidwriter waves hello

23:22 / 11.06.05

[Warning: Curious, slightly silly, maybe off-topic, but genuinely sincere questions.]

At what point does this thread become eligible for the Temple?

Has Barbelith ever tried colouring threads by topic to indicate they have a particularly strong connection with another forum? e.g. This thread could stay in Conversation (as it's tone is light), but the text could be coloured the same green as Temple to suggest it has relevancy. Maybe they could change colour when you scroll over them?

Of course, I suppose eventually this could get ridiculous design-wise, kind of like mixing up all your Plasticine, but as a non-designer I was curious. Also, I'm not criticising the design of Barbelith. In fact, I'm a fan and it's one of the reasons I joined.

Oh and Hail the One who's name we must not speak, the One who shares an initial with the Christian Beast and the force which opposes Life, but who is actually far more like a Yin Yang than a Yo-Yo....

alejandrodelloco

01:17 / 12.06.05

No, see, if this thread were in Temple, there would be a "riot", see.

08:25 / 12.06.05

As the newly appointed Archbishop to the church of Denfield, I wish to thank you all, my dear flock, for your continued faith...

...however, Mother Church is in dire peril, ma brothers and sistas. Oh yay, the Lord Denfeld he wants your money. So give generously, ma faithful, and truly shall ye be blessed with a m'urcle.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

09:46 / 12.06.05

A merkin?

11:09 / 12.06.05

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of poor, spiritless people. Poor bastards.
Blessed are they who post unwisely, for they will be moderated.
Blessed are the meek, for we can take the piss.
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for banana bread, for they will be satisfied.
Blessed are the merkins, for they will be shown a sanitised version of Hell's Kitchen.
Blessed are the vain of heart, for they can look in the mirror.
Blessed are the poker players for they will be called poor.
Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of Dongfield, for theirs is the kingdom of Barbelith.
Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you (falsely) because of Jacob Dimfield. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be huggles."

15:13 / 12.06.05

Hallelujah, brother!

19:27 / 12.06.05

Oops, forgot:

Blessed are the homeless, for they shall always have storage units, and mail too if they're lucky.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

19:31 / 12.06.05

Surely that should be "if they play their cards right"? Or am I on too much of a Brucie kick at the moment?

Brigade du jour

19:48 / 12.06.05

You get nothing for a storage unit ...

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

19:52 / 12.06.05

...not in this thread.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

20:21 / 15.06.05

A miracle!

And lo! It came to pass that his most holy Jackness did move upon the face of Barbelith, and in his wake threads that had lain buried and forgotten for many long years did rise from their slumber and live once more! For he is the Resurrection and the Life! Amen!

paranoidwriter waves hello

20:34 / 15.06.05

It's all so true, I'm a little freightened... Will.... someone... hold my... hand...please?...Ahhhh.. thankssss...Kum- ba-yahhhhhh.....

20:43 / 15.06.05

Crivvens!

21:05 / 15.06.05

"Thou shall not have any Jack's before me"

"The anti-Jack shall come in the form of a Jack, but beware for he is a phantom, and shall possess no more than a swallows feather of Jack's Jackness" - Elvis 4:12

Jack's Fear and Bodiless: the Eye of Donnerfrold is on you.

unheimlich manoeuvre

21:31 / 15.06.05

Praise be to the God Donfled! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of topics from the dead. . . . For they have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring internet.
Praise Jack!

21:48 / 15.06.05

kjos ehuk fudhasiofy sepiofy sepio fyerp iofgyoy sdrun pigvuh duf kluj uv huhulxcifim
spittle and drool
lewedelwed kewekl jofwe hafalakwer hefilke horofoglik joh er hifig lekejur hu higilik
(speaking in tongues here, dudes)

21:50 / 15.06.05

and Praise Jack, btw.

Just like a real God but pocket sized.

09:27 / 17.06.05

Holy fuck, how did I miss this thread? I have a great big smile on my face right now because of this.

09:40 / 17.06.05

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

13:28 / 17.06.05

paranoidwriter's PMed me to say ze's run out of posts for the day, but to pass on the following...

And lo, the clouds doth part and the force of Holy D beams on us all and lifts our spirits, banishing night-time for another day. For it is written somewhere - I can't be arsed to find where - that "The One Will Seed Many".

Everything Changes According to HIS Will, and So It Should BE!.

Those unholy "Do-do-heads" had it coming!

"Holy Fuck!" Holy Fuck Brothers and Sisters!"