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Random Questions Thread- Free Toy Inside!

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Sean the frumious Bandersnatch

01:14 / 02.06.05

Question 1. If you were a lion, who would you kill and why?

Question 2. If you could replace your head with anything else in the world (but your mind and intellect would still be the same), what would it be?

Question 3. If you could live in any time period in the past but keep your knowledge of the present, what would it be?

Bonus Question- How high can you count?

02:18 / 02.06.05

Answer 1(a) The worthless, mewling spawn of my competitors. Why? Because that's what lions do.
Answer 1(b) Witches and wardrobes. Wait, do I have that right?
Answer 1(c) No one. I'd be laying down with the lamb. (cue porn bass)

Answer 2 A 1-foot-tall replica of myself.

Answer 3 Junior High School. "No, Mr. Olson, I don't see a precariously balanced piano up there. Please don't move.

Bonus Answer- Dracula.

04:48 / 02.06.05

1- george bush, 'cause then everyone would go 'yay, the lion ate george bush, hooray!'

2- a marble bust of julius caesar. or the planet neptune [though getting onto aeroplanes would become problematic]

3- too far back and i'd have trouble with the language and the nuances... maybe i'd learn all the winners of the melbourne cup and grand national for the past thirty years and go back to the punk explosion and become sid viscious... he'd have been cool with julius caesar's head.

bonus- 6 feet one... (although, the mouth is probably up at about five eight..?) (no wait, the right fronto temporal lobe is where we count, that'd be about five eleven or so...)

what are you going to do with these answers?

06:25 / 02.06.05

oh, for the bonus question, i shoulda said, i actually came up with a new number a few months back...

a godzoogol: one more than the largest number you can possibly think of.

i have peopietry rights to this new numeral. i have yet to devise a sign for it. i am thinking of 'prince' as a sign...

Sean the frumious Bandersnatch

13:57 / 02.06.05

That's pretty weird that you use the term godzoogal. I've been using "godzillian" as a number for over a year now (am being serious). Which of us stole the idea from the other's brain?

And as for what I'm going to do with the answers- they'll be graded and put in your internet permanent record.

14:47 / 02.06.05

1. I'd eat that bloody giraffe that keeps sticking its head over my backyard wall and stealing my underwear off the line.

2. A Quintesson Judge

3. The 1890's. Exploration, adventure and travel by ocean liner. Bliss.

Bonus Question - How high would you like me to count?

15:02 / 02.06.05

Hey! There's no toy in here!!! I've been gypped! Swindled! Bamboozled! Waaaah!!!

15:13 / 02.06.05

I only came here for my free, fluffy, fun-sized Warewullf but, whilst I'm here, what does the Moby in Moby Dick mean?

In fact, how did they know the whale's name was Richard in the first place?

15:24 / 02.06.05

Q1. Cambodian midgets...Does anybody else get that?
Q2. Something with lasers, obviously.
Q3. Roughly 250,000bc. I'm work my way over to China and die there. Take that Single Origin Theory!

15:29 / 02.06.05

'Mobish Dick' didn't have the same ring to it.

Sean the frumious Bandersnatch

18:33 / 02.06.05

In Melvilles' time a Moby Dick meant an orgasm. Moby=mob, dick=penis=semen. Therefore Ahab's quest for Moby dick reflected Melville's quest to have an orgasm (many sperm). Ishmael was the biblical character who was cast out of God's favor, and so was Melville's Ishmael. This was because Ishmael was gay- proven by the fact that Ismael befriended Queequep, a cannibal. Cannibal=eating men=blow job=gay. So when Ahab went overboard at the end he was in fact abandoning his gay lifestyle and embracing God, since God's will is chaotic to the human mind. What Melville was trying to say in Moby-Dick was that God's love brings about the ultimate Orgasm.

Feel free to use this for your term paper, kids.

18:36 / 02.06.05

Praise the Lord and passd the moby dick!

Sean the frumious Bandersnatch

18:40 / 02.06.05

Grey Area- here.

And if anyone really really cares, the name Moby Dick comes from Moacha Dick, a real life albino whale. See! I know things. But I don't remember why the author changed it.

21:52 / 02.06.05

Cambodian midgets...Does anybody else get that?

no, but i'd like to... are they tasty?

22:10 / 02.06.05

It's a reference I think to a widely believed internet falsity proliferated by a cybergeek teen to settle a bet over the outcome of a fifteen midgets versus a tiger fight.

Linky
or alternatively via the What The? thread on pg 2.

And while I'm here,

Question 1. If you were a lion, who would you kill and why?

Any simpering fool that thinks the thorn in my paw is what's making me angry.

Question 2. If you could replace your head with anything else in the world (but your mind and intellect would still be the same), what would it be?

I'm very tempted by the add influenced base speaker or by the Homer Simpson Donut choice but possibly ,although I'm sure I'd regret it soon after, a life sized Pete Burns singing You Spin me Round (like a Record) on a continuous loop.

Question 3. If you could live in any time period in the past but keep your knowledge of the present, what would it be?

Steampunk? Steampunk is a time right?

Bonus Question- How high can you count?

You Spin me right round baby right round like record baby right round right round.You Spin me right round baby right round like record baby right round right round.You Spin me right round baby right round like record baby right round right round.You Spin me right round baby right round like record baby right round right round.

23:09 / 02.06.05

1) Something tasty, because it's tasty.
2) a night-vision super-zoom camera, so I could spy on people.
3) the roaring twenties

Bonus Question: thirty, then I get bored

Sean the frumious Bandersnatch

01:56 / 03.06.05

The scores so far (the quantity is graded is out of 15 points, but the quality is graded on a scale of my favorite fruits, because I said so)-

lekvar- 10 strawberries. I too find the idea of returning to JR High appealing for reasons of pure narcissism.

astrojax69- 13 blueberries. He answered the bonus question twice, which means double the height of his counting, which means a better score.

Grey Area- 8 Kiwis. While I like your sense of Victorian adventure, I don't know what a Quintesson Judge is and can't be bothered to look it up. You made me feel stupid, and the fact that I don't like kiwis also make me feel stupid.

Xocolat and Bizunuzib- 1 Dragonberry each. You didn't want to answer the quiz, but you posted in my thread just the same. That makes you pretty cool, and dragonberries are also cool. Assuming that they're a real fruit and not something that I just made up.

Kapok- 5 grapes (purple). Oh, now I know what a Quintesson Judge is. I thought it was maybe a kind of dresser.

Citern, I'm a Poet- 4 and 20 blackberries, all in a row. This is for invoking the Invisibles (in Arcadia, the head of John the Baptist is on a record player or something similar and sings "you spin me right round" also). Maybe this wasn't intentional on your part, which means that while I was only affected by the Invisibles on a conscious level and thus could recognise it, but you were affected on a subconscioius level so that it changes every thought you have. I'm sure this makes you think that you're better than me. You're not!!!

Liger Null- 7 mice. You understand how Lions think, and to Lions mice are fruit.

To those with low scores, take heart! I'll put up some new questions that you can also answer just as soon as I can be bothered.

Sean the frumious Bandersnatch

02:52 / 03.06.05

Round 2

Question 4. If you could be any one God or religious character (like Judas Iscariot), who would you be and why? AND WHY????

Question 5. If you could speak any 3 languages (including those you already know), what would they be?

Feel free to add your own questions, too.

08:46 / 03.06.05

wtf is a dragonberry?

09:42 / 03.06.05

Possibly he means Dragonfruit:

10:14 / 03.06.05

Answer to 5:
Klingon, Elvish, Esperanto. You know, the core languages.

11:52 / 03.06.05

4. Ahura Mazda, because he hails from a warm climate and has a really cool beard. And there'd eagle-winged half-lion/half-woman creatures involved in my pantheon, which is always a plus.

5. Xhosa (or one of the other khoisan languages), because they sound fun. Russian because it would complement my deep voice (and cool beard, if I get to be Ahura Mazda). Khalkha mongolian because screaming at my rampaging horde of horsemen in english just sounds plain wrong.

Sean the frumious Bandersnatch

19:28 / 03.06.05

I knew something was up when I wrote Dragonberries. Maybe I don't know as much about fruit as I thought...

22:12 / 03.06.05

Liger Null- 7 mice. You understand how Lions think, and to Lions mice are fruit.

Well, I am half lion, after all...

Essential Dazzler

22:21 / 03.06.05

4. I'd be Adonis, because he's sexy. OK You've forced me! It's because I like the guys

5. Kree, Skrull, and Shi,ar!

23:24 / 03.06.05

1. Lion-O. Then I can replace him as leader of the Thundercats.
2. This is easily the greatest question anyone has every asked me, and I don't know. I'm tempted to say "a giant can of beans," though, because I love the visual. And it beats a toilet, or an ass. Hmm... a chess piece? Globe? Or... ack! I'll be wondering for days. (Maybe I could be Chairface Chippendale from The Tick!)
3. Maybe the 60's (good comics!). Or, I dunno, a few months ago. Or whenever Flex Mentallo was coming out.
4. Mister Miracle, of the New Gods. Only without the angst-ridden past.
5. English, Pig-Latin, and Canadian. Or that awesome language that's, like, all done with tongue-clicks. Or the song of the whales... or... dammit, stop making me think.

I like to keep my options open too much.

06:35 / 04.06.05

Question 1.

Anyone I see with the collar of their polo or other collared shirt flipped up, for starters, because I want the blood of the young and stupid. Then I'd start weeding out the rest of the youth.

Question 2.

Hmm. Gorgon head is very, very tempting, but I think I'd go with a replica of my own head with greater storage capacity, better vision, sharper teeth, clearer skin, and better hearing. I'd just sort of upgrade.

Question 3.

Old Testament. This may be cheating in terms of the question, but I would like to be back in the time when god came down and walked with humans, when angels wrestled with men, and only won by cheating. I'm still immature enough to want to look god in the eye and say, "you know, you're totally going to bail on us, you realize that, right?"

Question 4.

This changes periodically, but I think I'd like to be King David, because he was a hard man, and any time he was cast out, that's when he was his strongest. I lack those qualities of leadership and general resilience, and I would love to be someone who had them. (The concept of being a biblical prophet is tempting, just because of the horrible tortuous spectacle of being called, but that's a wretched gig if ever there was one.) Just to see how the other half lives, the aggressive as opposed to the passive-aggressive.

Question 5.

Attic Greek, Latin, and German. That way I could descend into the world of classicism and never come out. (My understanding is that most of the scholarship is in German anyway.)

Am I crusty enough yet?

08:46 / 04.06.05

Question 1. If you were a lion, who would you kill and why?
Androcles, smug git.

Question 2.
The head of a chameleon. Eyes with 360 degree vision, tongue like a bullwhip, camouflage colour change, perfecto!

Question 3. If you could live in any time period in the past but keep your knowledge of the present, what would it be?
Restoration London.

Bonus Question- How high can you count?
As high as an elephant's eye.

Round 2

Question 4. If you could be any one God or religious character (like Judas Iscariot), who would you be and why? AND WHY????
Thor. Because he got to express his inner Grump with the thunder. And he wore cool clothes and had a big tool. And you'd get sacrificial stuff.

Question 5. If you could speak any 3 languages (including those you already know), what would they be?
Danish, because I tried to learn it once and couldn't get my tongue around those glottal stops.
Arabic, because many have reported that it is the most beautiful language there is to speak and because of the whole wonderful world of calligraphy that would be opened up to me.
Cantonese, because of its international prevalence and same point about the wondrous calligraphy. Also because the whole tonal language thing is so hard to get your head around if you're not a native speaker.

21:08 / 04.06.05

Round 2

Question 4. If you could be any one God or religious character (like Judas Iscariot), who would you be and why? AND WHY????

I would be Jehovah, so I could smite those fuckers who oppress people in my name.

Question 5. If you could speak any 3 languages (including those you already know), what would they be?

Algonquin and Latin, because nobody speaks them any more and that makes me sad for some reason. And Japanese, so I could play all those anime video games Sony won't release over here.

Sean the frumious Bandersnatch

22:31 / 04.06.05

I'm amazed at how few people have been chosing English in their answer to question five. Almost all my favorite books are in English!

23:09 / 04.06.05

5. The Little God of Icy Spaces from Michael Scott's Culai Heritage because the image I have of hir has always been very agreeable. Saying that I would probably just smite my enemies with broken central heating and runny noses and swirl about tundras complaining bitterly to myself about how much nicer the other god's temples were.

6.
So hokay English as I'd surely miss it otherwise.
Ancient Irish because I have lost most of my Irish learning unused from brainwaste and would also be interested to know the changes that it has gone through as a language.
Rat speak: to see if I am justified in thinking that they are truly evil.

23:16 / 04.06.05

I misread your instructions for the language question and others may have done so too.

Our command of the English language is therefore suspect.

23:40 / 04.06.05

I think we're all rebelling against English because it seems to be taking over the world...

23:53 / 04.06.05

Didn't the question say any three languages plus the ones you've already got under you tongue?

00:07 / 05.06.05

That is what I also thought before the clarification for the record. I think because of the use of "any" versus "only" and also "including" rather than the phrase "inclusive of", possibly.

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