These days I identify with Sir Miles more then any of the other characters in that comic. Just without the "kill the poor" mindset.
Fuck, I bet that's wierd. Whatever works for you I guess!
but the dude's not totally chilled: I mean, he has his dark, chaotic side, as can be seen in the first issue, and he DID kill someone in issue #9. But, it seems to me that very often these deities have more then one side, so it works out.
Yeah I know, but he kind of grew up and changed a lot after that, and the Jack I'm working with is the one from the last issue, not the younger one. Yeah he'll have a darker side to him, but don't we all is how I figure it.
I think I saw it for a second or two early yesterday morning, when he showed me some things that needed sorting out in my head. Oddly enough, it was calming, because he was showing me some things wrong with my mind, and he kept telling me to be calm, but I couldn't. I got into a state and started freaking out in my mind, and he kept telling me to calm down, to try and show me that I needed to stay calm whilst he was showing me, and then I almost snapped, and I looked at him, I don't think I was going to do anything, I was just really pissed off, and he looked back at me and smiled.....and erm, just the look he gave me, heh, I knew there wasn't any point getting mad at him. But just to point out : there really wasn't any need to get wound up, it was nothing that he'd done, but more of what he was showing me because I'd gone too far too fast. I think a lot of beings, entities, etc. tend to keep you away from things for your own good, but sometimes you can go too far, and I did that within the first few hours I think.
Anyway, things have started going amazingly well. Better than I could ever have hoped. What I'm going to end up doing I really don't know, but right now I'm letting him talk to me a few times a day, and earlier on I sat down with a pen and pad and tried channeling him, or whatever you want to call it. I evoked him a little aswell for a few seconds and he was sat in front of me. It was just an image of him in my minds eye, but as I let him carry on talking, I stopped looking straight at him and was staring a bit to his right, and he kind of leaned to the side so that I was looking at him again, and his face seemed to come a lot closer into view, and it freaked me out a little. It was pretty fucking strange!
So yeah, I'm doing something again, and it just seems to be working so well. I've almost got a couple of pages at the moment, and he's talking about a couple of things, but I think he's advising me to let it flow and then pick through what I have for the information that I need.
As I get more and more down, I should start to get him louder and more clearly, and I'm even learning to listen to him in a Liverpool accent, but that might take a while.
To be as clear as I can though, when doing this type of thing, you have to be careful what you decide to write, because sometimes you get into this place and there's just all these voices, like when you start up and wait to connect, and it can be hit and miss. I'm getting the sense that there's a way that needs to be learned, it's definately a skill. I tried it with Sage aswell a night or two ago, and she said a few times when I phased out and then in a way tuned back in, that the mind can drift off and some part of you can just carry the conversation on in whatever voice you've been listening to, and the only way to get it back at first is to know that you've lost the contact and try to tune back in, because to them you've just gone, and they can't really help.
With Deities etc, I guess they'd be like : "HEY" or they'd call your name and tell you that you lost them, but when doing it at first I think you have to be careful to move back into the right place when things start seeming wrong, and that isn't easy. With practise though, the connection will hopefully get stronger and I might even get the call to tell me that I lost them if that's the case.
I'll keep going and post back here if I feel I've got something significant anyway. |
