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Batman vs. Darth Vader

 
  

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Triplets
16:42 / 24.05.05
Each of them has just starred or is about to star in a much hyped upcoming movie. Who would win in a fight? Let's say both are going for crippling incapacitation if not outright killing of the other guy. Arena is Gotham City at midnight. Batman has one hour to prepare and knows beforehand Vader has some kind of telekinetic ability.

Winner gets to fight Superman. Or possibly V.
 
 
Billuccho!
16:57 / 24.05.05
C'mon, Vader is a guy with robot parts and asthma. Have you seen some of those saber-fights? It's like they're in slow motion. Batman, remember, can kick anyone's ass.

Plus, y'know, Batman's probably got a Bat-Lightsaber in his sci-fi closet he's just been itching to use.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
20:04 / 24.05.05
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
Dan Fish - @Fish1k
20:42 / 24.05.05
There couldn't be a fight - Darth Vader isn't real!
 
 
matsya
23:23 / 24.05.05
They'd fight to start with and then they'd realised it'd all been a misunderstanding, and then they'd team-up to fight C3PO and Spider-Man.

Only THEY'D realise that it was a misunderstanding and the four of them would form a non-team and go on to fight the real bad guy, composed of an amalgam of all the Number 2s from The Prisoner.

Except during the fight they'd realise it had all been a misunderstanding and they'd all shake hands and the Number 2s would join the non-team and they'd all go on to fight He-Man and Inspector Gadget and Roger Ramjet's evil twin.

Can't wait for the transformable action figures.

m.
 
 
Aertho
01:42 / 25.05.05
I want to know whether they all fit together to form Devastator.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
07:24 / 25.05.05
Hur hur. You said "Number 2s".
 
 
lonely as a cloud...
13:48 / 25.05.05
There's a teaser trailer up at the Warner Bros site (here) which shows Batman being trained to be a ninja. And at the start of Star Wars (episode IV: A New Hope, if you must), Darth Vader boards Princess Leia's ship by force - a piratical act if ever there was one!
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
13:49 / 25.05.05
This is the BEST THREAD EVAR!!!1!
 
 
broken gentleman.
15:17 / 25.05.05
batman has to win. this is the essence of batman, if i've learned anything from comics. i'm sure he'd get waynetech to manufacture him a midichlorian injection, and then manipulate the force with superior will, bringing vader to his knees. or something.

the real kicker is when george lucas decides that the vader reveal from jedi was unfinished, and updates it so he's thomas wayne instead of anakin. batman cries.
 
 
osymandus
17:42 / 25.05.05
Pirates and Ninjas in one thread and Batman with Darth Vader !

This is the best thread ever !!!!!!!
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
18:36 / 25.05.05
No way is Vader a pirate. As we all know, Sith are a cowardly and superstitious lot. Now, yer pirate would say he'd been from one end of the galaxy to the other, and mystical hocus-pocus bullshit is no match for a cheeky grin and a big fucking gun. Or something along those lines, I expect.
 
 
matsya
23:37 / 25.05.05
Batman IS a Pirate!

No, wait, he's a GLADIATOR!

A samurai?

Knight?

No, dude, he's a fucking VIKING, alright?

m.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
09:22 / 26.05.05
Legends Of Batman

In the time of the Roman emperors, slaves and prisoners were turned into professional fighters known as gladiators and were forced to battle to the death before crowds gathered in amphitheaters. Gladiator Batman posed as one of these combatants with a master plan to end this bloodthirsty sport. Instead of taking part in the matches, he rallied the ranks of gladiators together in a massive uprising, leading their final escape to freedom and earning a place for the Dark Knight in ancient lore.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
09:30 / 26.05.05
I'm Batman!

No, I'm Batman!

No, I'm Batman!
 
 
Triplets
10:16 / 26.05.05
Batman is clearly a VAMPIRE (a Ventrue). And he fights a Malkavian who plays cards. It's obvious.

Vader is a Frankenstein though... A pirate one. With a flintlock that fires lightsabres.
 
 
lukabeast
15:00 / 26.05.05
What we really need is a cabin boy Robin for that Pirate Batman, yeah, with Ace The Bat Parrot.
 
 
Scrubb is on a downward spiral
16:02 / 26.05.05
See, I was actually thinking about this when sitting through the Batman Begins trailer before Star Wars III.

But I came to the conclusion that although they may start off fighting, their mutual admiration of the black shiny stuff would take over and from there it would be a - different - kind of fighting. If you see.
 
 
matsya
23:13 / 26.05.05
What we really need is a cabin boy Robin for that Pirate Batman

You mean something like this?

m.
 
 
Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo
02:52 / 27.05.05
I still think that their capes woudl get tangled up, they be drawn close and...

Well, you get the picture. The Picture Of Love.
 
 
matsya
04:21 / 27.05.05
Well, pirates ARE sort of like sailors, aren't they?

BUCCANEER BATMAN AND FIRST MATE ROBIN IN HOT SALTY PIRATE MAN-LOVE SCANDAL!

Arrrrr.....

(me hearties)

m.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
11:14 / 27.05.05
Fuck this, I'm going to teh pub.
 
 
DaveBCooper
13:11 / 27.05.05
This thread - worryingly - reminds me of those pages in Wizard which recite a rather arbitrary sequence of a fight between (say) Captain America and Colossus, and usually end with something like ‘but Vader’s reliance on machinery is his undoing, and Batman punches out his central control panel, leaving him rasping for air on the floor. Vader’s out for the count, and Batman is – of course – the Dark Knight Triumphant!”
 
 
osymandus
15:07 / 27.05.05
You say it like its a bad thing ?
 
 
Mr Tricks
15:36 / 27.05.05
Shouldn't we really set this up as a sort of illimination tournament.

BATMAN vs. V

Bewitched vs. Harry Potter

Superman vs. The Commander

DARTH VADER vs. King Kong


The winner of each moves on to a second round untill there is only one!!!

Thank god there's no Highlander flick coming out this year!
 
 
Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo
20:21 / 27.05.05
Put them all in a cage and see who emerges.

"Two men enter, one man leaves! Two men enter, one man leaves!"
 
 
Triplets
20:25 / 27.05.05
Only if eVey can ride on top of Harry like Master Blaster.
 
 
Mr Tricks
20:37 / 27.05.05
I can see the championship bout.

Master Blaster vs. King Kong

hmmmm... what id Batman road on top of King King to be a Mega Manga Master Blaster. They could team up against Godzilla and a legless Sunfire!!!
 
 
XXII:X:II = XXX
06:04 / 28.05.05
People, you're missing the most important objective measure of this question:

Batman and Darth Vader have the same mentor.

Whereas Batman studied under him as a young man, Anakin Skywalker only briefly experienced the radical fanatical adoration Liam Neeson had to offer before Maul ran him through. Batman formalized his training under Neeson, as already a man (albeit a damaged one), sparring on the ice and learning ninja tricks, whereas Anakin peaked in the happiness department at age 10 as a pretreatment for his upcoming, involuntary life of servitude to the Jedi, settling for the imperfect skills of Neeson's student, a Jew freed by Neeson in Nazi Germany. Therefore, it was only Batman who benefitted from Neeson's experience as Darkman, who was trained by Sam Raimi, who would go on to train Spider-Man. The Jedi were founded by George Lucas, whose most superheroic pupil otherwise was Howard the Duck. The jealousy of this discrepancy filled Anakin with envy, so much that he and Batman finally fought over the life of their mutual tailor he fell into hot lava and became Two-Face. But in that situation, isn't it the children who suffer most?

So you understand, Liam Neeson has to be stopped.

XXII:X:II::XXII:X:II
 
 
osymandus
08:57 / 28.05.05
I believe Liam Nesson also started teh Crusades as well , accourding to teh historical Pic , Kingdom of Heaven, does this mans influence know , no ends !!
 
 
Benny the Ball
11:07 / 28.05.05
He also holds a little sway with King Arthur
 
 
osymandus
12:24 / 28.05.05
I fear we could all be in danger , with uncovered the greatest consipricy of our age aggggh , no teh black helicopters are here already aggggh !!
 
 
doglikesparky
20:40 / 28.05.05

Batman Wins
 
 
uncle retrospective
09:56 / 29.05.05
Holy shit! Han Solo slaps the crap out of Superman on that. He only just beats Batman.
(Yes, I'm bored.)
 
 
lukabeast
20:01 / 29.05.05
You mean something like this?

OMFG! Bwaa haa haa. Man, nice find.
 
  

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