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Drear Barbelith, I Think I'm In Love.

 
 
Alex's Grandma
23:59 / 15.05.05
So ok guys, I am both euphoric and depressed.

Last night I think I met the girl of my dreams. We exchanged witticisms in the Marathon kebab house on Chalk Farm Road, if anyone knows it. Not the most romantic of settings perhaps, but my Christ, how the sparks were flying. She bought me a Pepsi, I gave her a fag, we danced to 'I Wanna Dance ( With Someone Who Loves Me. )'

And then her boyfriend showed up.

He was;

A) the guy from the Libertines

B) Brian, my bestest friend in the whole world

C) A fellow Russian, who can't really live there any more because of what happened in Chechnya, apparently. Though he seems to be doing ok for himself in London these days. At least anyone who's got £250 to spare for at least half of the things he was suggesting he'd like to have happen as I left the building as probably... well he doesn't deserve her, does he ?
 
 
JOY NO WRY
00:00 / 16.05.05
Is he better looking than you?
 
 
JOY NO WRY
00:01 / 16.05.05
And did you get her number? Her name?
 
 
Tryphena Absent
00:05 / 16.05.05
For gods sake Alex, how can you talk so frivolously? We may not even have souls and you're going on about kebabs and girls. You're going to die, she's going to die, I'm going to die. No immortal life and you're concerned about dancing to Whitney Houston! We're going to biodegrade in the earth and never think again. Maggots will eat you. Maggots will eat your cock and yet, all you can think about is using it. You pathetic pervert there is no god. We're dead. We're all dead.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
00:50 / 16.05.05
Alex, she's blatantly in love with you and just using her relationship with Brian to get to you, sending secret signals through him which are meant for you. She's just shy.

But you should on no account approach her or make a move, because it will destroy the special, secret, fragile love you already share.

(That'll be £100, cheers.)
 
 
Tryphena Absent
00:54 / 16.05.05
Brian is dead.
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
01:13 / 16.05.05
Ha, my best friend's girl got tapped up by one of the Libertines (or possibly all of them?) in London once. Of course he's a hunk of sex and they're ugly heroined-out tossers, so she told them to fuck off.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
03:30 / 16.05.05
Kapok;

Yeah I did get her name. Not at the time as such, too lost in the moment I guess, but now that Serge*, her ( ex ? ) boyfriend has been standing there shouting outside the front door for the last couple of hours - thank goodness for armour-plated windows ( first-time buyers, you ignore this issue at your peril, ) I now know what she is called.

Assuming it's not 'You are son of pig,' 'I put shotgun up your ass, English' or whatever other vague ideas Serge has about the UK justice system ( 'Serge' I said, with the best will in the world 'Serge, the person you're looking for doesn't live here any more... Well, yeah, it's ok, I suppose, about the taxes and so on, but this is no good... It simply isn't germane, big guy, to be waving your shooter round in this frankly rather outre fashion,' it could have gone better, really, that whole exchange, ) then I dare say it's Bambi*.

And I've got Bambi's number and everything, it's just that if I call her, will Serge pick up ?

It seems like I'm going to have to make a choice between love, and all it's uncertainties, or the emergency room, and all it's certainties.

It could be beautiful, but then again, I may never play tennis again, so... well it's a dilemna, guys, I don't mind admitting that.



* Not their real names.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
03:49 / 16.05.05
Is he better looking than you ?

Good question. I look more like Ted Hughes than he does, but then again, he's more of a ( formerly 'Stunning,' )Steve 'Stone Cold' Austin type of a man.

It's difficult to say, basically.
 
 
alejandrodelloco
05:59 / 16.05.05
TENNIS IS NOT WORTH IT.
ATTEMPT LIKE YOU HAVE NAE BEFORE ATTEMPTED.

Actually, if you wanna be a pussy about it, call in a very official fashion from a payphone or work or somesuch. Ask for the lady, and if the mister answers, just say "Thanks, I'll try later." Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
 
 
w1rebaby
09:11 / 16.05.05
Dude. Don't fuck with the Russians. They'll cut your dick off and not even leave you with an inch to piss with. And then your family will disown you.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
10:03 / 16.05.05
Point of information: none of the Libertines are Russian, they are all as English as warm beer and sticky wickets. Nor are any of them called Brian or Serge, they are:



L-R: Bob, Dick, Dodger, Lord Harry Fondleby III
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
10:16 / 16.05.05
I thought we 'imported' (ie stole like the imperialist hussies we are) warm beer from the French and sticky wickets from the Ewoks?
 
 
LykeX
10:34 / 16.05.05
Brian is dead.

Well, that's the thing. He's not dead, and that's the whole problem, right? So I think we all know what needs to be done, right?
 
 
Tryphena Absent
11:30 / 16.05.05
LykeX, if that is your real name, I think you're missing the point here. The point being that Brian is dead. Serge is dead, Bambi is dead. Geoffrey Manderson reckons that time isn't linear, according to him we're all dead right now. The words are shunting you into their mouthes at this very instant. Think about that.

I am so ashamed of all of you. It's all, that hussy Bambi, that lunatic Serge, that moron Brian, that lover Steve. When are you going to realise that you're only referring to corpses?
 
 
Jack Vincennes
11:54 / 16.05.05
I'm not even sure that I'm on topic any more but if you look like Ted Hughes I think you should probably be okay. At the being attractive side things, if not necessarily at the fighting.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
12:07 / 16.05.05
Attractive to a fox or a badger or a horse, maybe.
 
 
illmatic
12:18 / 16.05.05
Have you seen Ted Hughes, man? Massive (6 '6 at least). Hunky. Handy in a scrap.
 
 
w1rebaby
12:32 / 16.05.05


"You're going home in a fucking ambulance son."
 
 
Haus of Mystery
12:37 / 16.05.05
That nancy-boy isn't Ted Hughes...

This is.



And what girl could resist.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
12:48 / 16.05.05
Ted Hughes is DEAD.
 
 
ibis the being
13:21 / 16.05.05
fridgemagnet - stop it now, we all know that's Bill Pullman.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
13:24 / 16.05.05
Ted Hughes' poetry lives on (more's the pity), and in that sense, he is truly ALIVE.
 
 
Ganesh
13:39 / 16.05.05
See every 'relationship' thread on Barbelith ever.
 
 
grant
13:45 / 16.05.05
-------------------------------------------------
I dreamed of our house
Before we ever found it. A great snake
Lifted its head from a well in the middle of the house
Exactly where the well is, beneath its slab,
In the middle of the house.
A golden serpent, thick as a child's body,
Eased from the opened well. And poured out
Through the back door, a length that seemed unending-
-----------------------------------------------------
Ted Hughes!

(plus)



Copperheads!

(plus)


Cossacks?


(equals)



VILLAINY!
 
 
grant
13:49 / 16.05.05
SERGE IS RUSSIAN MAFIA STOP

BEWARE COPPERHEADS IN WELL STOP

FAMILIAR M STOP O STOP CODENAME PLATH STOP

MI5 CURRENTLY INVESTIGATING STOP

STAY SAFE STOP
 
 
Squirmelia
19:52 / 16.05.05
Обезьяны зевают и обожают их блох в солнце.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
20:51 / 16.05.05


IS

 
 
Whisky Priestess
22:30 / 16.05.05
Russia is a squashed frog?
 
 
Tryphena Absent
22:42 / 16.05.05
Dead.
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
10:18 / 17.05.05
Well, so is a squashed frog, frankly.

Nina, remember: you cannot kill what doesssss not live.
 
  
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