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Need help, cat is starving

Jack Denfeld

17:10 / 13.05.05

Hey my roommate went out of town and won't be back until Tuesday. The cat he's been watching for someone is here. I don't have a penny until next friday, and the cat food is gone. I see that there's some tuna and sardines in the cupboards. Which will the cat prefer and how much should I give the cat?

Kit-Cat Club

17:14 / 13.05.05

Cat will probably eat either. My cats used to lvoe sardines, especially in tomato sauce. It should be all right with the equivalent amount to a quarter of a tin of cat food, twice a day. Make sure it has water!

Jack Denfeld

17:24 / 13.05.05

Thanks, good on water. Also have 3 cans of tuna and a can of sardines, should last long enough.

bitchiekittie

18:02 / 13.05.05

kit-kat is right, daily give the cat fresh water and he'll eat sardines or tuna. though if you could possible manage to scrounge together a dollar or two in change, some boxed food will probably be a good thing to pick up. then, when your roommate gets back, give them a good talking to for not taking care of hir responsibilities!

Bed Head

18:21 / 13.05.05

Rent the hungry cat out to a house with mice, make yrself a few bob from the situation. And then eat the sardines yourself, they’re full of omega oils or something that’ll make your coat all glossy.

Bed Head

18:30 / 13.05.05

btw, I like that Kit-Cat and bitchiekittie have answered so far. We just need Sekhmet for the full set, I think.

Mourne Kransky

18:54 / 13.05.05

And, when you run out of tuna and sardines, be careful not to fall asleep in the same room as the cat or you may awake missing a toe.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

19:15 / 13.05.05

Cats don't need a lot of water, but they do like it fresh.

And remember, if the cat is hungry, it WILL begin to devise plans to kill you. Where do you think the inspiration for cartoon cats who invent elaborate plans to kill mice come from?

Tezcatlipoca

19:38 / 13.05.05

We just need Sekhmet for the full set, I think.

...and I'm still waiting for them to turn up. Sekhmet is the only one I need to complete my set. Typical isn't it? You open a fresh pack, dig around in the bottom only to find a duplicate Kit-Cat Club whch you can't swap with anyone.

Papess

19:48 / 13.05.05

Someone open a can of cat food. Sekhs should come running.

alas

19:49 / 13.05.05

Worse yet, while devising plans to kill you, the cat will piss on your bed. Possibly, in fact, your pillow. Possibly while you're lying in it.

And that's if he decides to be nice and not also take a shit there.

Mourne Kransky

07:04 / 14.05.05

The other charming thing about feline digestion is that the food will only remain appetising and tasty for the first thirty seconds after it is presented to the Gourmet. After that it's old food and will not entice until it's several more days old and is lost in the middle of a bin bag among the fag ends and used kleenex, from where it will call to the cat, who will dig it out.

And eating anything once is never enough for a cat. Denied the multiple stomachs of a ruminant by cruel nature, it will do its best to chew the cud by bolting its food then throwing it up, noisily and shamelessly, usually where it's most inconvenient. Then it might or might not gobble up the regurgitate, depending upon mood, seasons of the moon, and whether there's an R in the month.

Jack Denfeld

10:52 / 14.05.05

Does anyone have any extra babies? Maybe the cat can eat their breath while they sleep.

Alex's Grandma

18:00 / 14.05.05

Couldn't you drum up some spare cash by getting down on your knees in the meat-packing district or something, De Selby ?

You'd have money left over for beer and everything, and what's more, the cat would be your lifelong friend for, I don't know, for at least a good ten minutes.

Jack Denfeld

19:36 / 14.05.05

The cat likes the tuna. It looks way juicier and tasty than the regular dry looking stuff anyway.

Sekhmet

21:00 / 14.05.05

Do I smell tuna?...

My ears are burning.

Papess

21:36 / 14.05.05

Ah, there you are, Sekhmet! What took you so long? Been sexing the Tomcats in the alley?

Mazarine

23:11 / 14.05.05

Hell, I've seen cats eat poptarts.

Sekhmet

23:17 / 14.05.05

I've been, you know, around. (* waves paw vaguely *)

Some cats will eat anything. The real question is whether or not they sick it back up afterwards.

Tuna's good though. Small snacks of cheese and milk will be appreciated but might cause upset tummies in large amounts.

Bad roommate alarms going off, here...

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

23:51 / 14.05.05

Yes, personally I'd be incredibly pissed-off with anyone who offered to look after a cat and then fucked off without leaving any food. Not all cats have a Johnny Doonfleisch there to save them. If I were you I'd have a word with the cat's "owner" and tell 'em your roommate's not to be trusted with their pet. If someone had pulled that shit with my (darling departed) dog I'd have broken their fucking legs.

Glad to hear you're doing good with the feeding, though, Mr Denfeld (so glad, in fact, that this time I'll use your proper suit name). I'd get ready to do a lot of swearing on your roommate's return.

Mazarine

02:01 / 15.05.05

That's true. Anyone who tried to feel my cat a poptart would find hirself being eaten by me, but not the cat. Because that's not good for kitties.

Turkey, cooked liver maybe?

8===>Q: alyn

09:18 / 15.05.05

My sister's cat is a moron.

Wait, I'm sorry. That's just so funny I have to stop typing. I'll be right back.

8===>Q: alyn

09:23 / 15.05.05

So, my sister's cat is a moron. Any time a door opens, the front door, the bedroom door, the closet, she rushes through it. Maybe she's the reincarnation of George Armstrong Custer. In the morning, she'll stand around the back door yowling till someone lets her in. Then she'll walk around yowling till someone feeds her, which I can understand. It's bullshit, though, I've seen her eat the dog's food, so she's not that hungry. She'll take maybe two bites of what she was so desperate for, then go back over to the door and yowl to be let out. Any time she starts that shit with me, I lock her in the bathroom for 10 minutes. She forgets after a few weeks, because the rest of the family panders to her.

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