Ello' Ello' Ello'

12:11 / 04.05.05

Luvvies,

after battled a miserable computer for the past week or so, my dreeam has come true..I have come to Barbelith!

I'm a 2nd year English student at Cambridge, been reading the site for absolutely yonks and am chuffed to finally get on the damn thing.
Anyhoo, glad to walk among you all.

Nick

Warewullf

12:16 / 04.05.05

Welcome aboard!

12:48 / 04.05.05

Welcome. Got pie?

12:58 / 04.05.05

(*goes to British-American dictionary and looks up "yonks" and "chuffed" to make sure no insult in implied*)

Ah. Jolly good. Hi there!

illmatic

13:01 / 04.05.05

Can't remember the dialogue exactly but you need to be asked about your moustache...

so instead ... Run! RUN IN THE CORRIDOR!

---

13:02 / 04.05.05

Hey there Nick, and welcome to posting at last.

(and Sekhmet : stop being a bloody yonk.)

13:08 / 04.05.05

Wait, I thought I was a yank, not a yonk. Now I'm confused again.

How long is a yonk, exactly?

13:11 / 04.05.05

A mysterious and enigmatic term, the length of a yonk is variable, much like a piece of string..

Crumbs, my big opening (titter) on Barbelith, and i made umpteen spelling mistakes.
What a fool am I

William Sack

13:16 / 04.05.05

How much is an "umpteen" ? Is it still half an "assload" ?

13:19 / 04.05.05

a newbie steps up to the mark..

A little to the left.. there you go. Now, what are you going to sing for us?

13:29 / 04.05.05

Well Simon, tonight I'll be performing the enirety of "Sir Henry at Rawlisnon's End", complete with music hall interludes and silly noises a-plenty.

..That, or a cack-handed crack at "can't get you out of my head". Tell me straight, have I got what it takes?

Jack Vincennes

13:39 / 04.05.05

Some useful information about the ancient orgins of the umpteen here, Cash. Seems like it's actually significantly more than an assload!

(Sorry, I just got sent that article today and have been looking for an excuse to post it...)

Also, welcome to the board!

13:40 / 04.05.05

Well, to be honest.. "Mick".. No

13:43 / 04.05.05

Oh what the hell, give it a whirl

Olulabelle

14:06 / 04.05.05

Welcome.

I don't think you should attempt to sing anything until you have gathered together a little troupe of dancers to wear spangly suits and do can-can kicks in the background.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

14:21 / 04.05.05

And a little dog on a tricycle.

Go!

15:16 / 04.05.05

Welcome!

What's that? Candles?

These?

Oh, they're nothing to concern yourself about. Nothing at all.

15:18 / 04.05.05

Ahh.. finaly.. you brought the.. ehhrmm, "birthday candles" Stoatie?

w1rebaby

15:21 / 04.05.05

What I want to know is whether an assload is more or less than a shedload. Sheds are usually bigger than asses. But that's no guide.

17:44 / 04.05.05

So what do you do for kicks?

Aren't most of the students at Cambridge English?

rising and revolving

18:07 / 04.05.05

Assload is more than a shedload, but less than a shit-tin. Which I suspect is a uniquely australian measure of quantity, but I'm happy to be corrected.

18:12 / 04.05.05

A good ass can carry more than a small shed will hold, I think.

But the expression might be more reliant on a pain metric. A loaded shed hurts less than a loaded ass.

18:13 / 04.05.05

A shit-tin, of course, would be immensely painful, and thus...

lekvar

18:20 / 04.05.05

Ass load vs. shed load really depends on whether you're using the metric system or Imperial Units.

Bed Head

18:33 / 04.05.05

So, is a shitload actually a separate unit of measurement, or have I just been mispronouncing ‘shedload’ all these years? That could be embarrassing.

18:43 / 04.05.05

I always thought "shedload" was used by people who were to scared to say "shitload". Is this another cultural thing?

Mike Modular

18:50 / 04.05.05

Dunno. But how much is a fuckload...?

18:50 / 04.05.05

No, a shitload is the same as an assload, only at the larger end of the spectrum. Shedloads are a different measure altogether.

Olulabelle

20:07 / 04.05.05

But how much is a fuckload...?

I think that entirely depends on how long you've been abstaining.

lekvar

21:31 / 04.05.05

Assload pertains to volume.
Shitload is a unit of mass.

C'mon, weren't you paying attention in your Algebra calsses?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

08:43 / 05.05.05

Does this always happen? A slow deterioration i.n.t.o....arse poo bum fuck talk?

I LOVE IT HERE!!

Most folk here are, oddly, English, or Chinese.
I occupy meself with a little scribbling here and there, 2 crude radio shows, a semi-active mod-punk-psych band, and a club night called "pandaemonium"

11:55 / 05.05.05

Far be it from me to give the orange Nazi motherfucker any ammunition, but Robert Kilroy-Silk could do much worse than to appeal to the huddled masses of Little Englanders by starting a "save our shedload" campaign. They don't hold for shedloads in the EU, you know. Or assloads.

Never or Now!

12:24 / 05.05.05

Hit me with some more Viv Stanshall references, Mr. M "What's there to smile about?" T.

15:14 / 05.05.05

Crumbs.

well
it's a sane of the thames, is it not, that if I had all the money I've spent on booze, I'd spend it all on booze.

Have recently become aware to the man's utter genius, and am in process of converting many, many others..
Have you seen the film of "Sir Henry"? Am trying desperately-and with little success- to track it down...

Dada for now..