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Stealing from your flatmates

 
  

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slinkyvagabond
16:28 / 27.04.05
I just got snared with my flat mate's milk in my hands. That girl moves quietly. All I could do was go "Er, can I have some of your milk for my tea?" while blsuhing furiously. (Like, yeah, I sensed you entering the room and decided to pre-emptively take your milk from the fridge in case you were unclear about what it was I wanted to scam from you) I was also using her frying pan at the time. I am so ashamed. I've lived in shared housing for about 13 years now and this is the first time in memory that someone has caught me in the act of snaffling their food products. Am I a bad person? Does anyone else routinely 'borrow' a wee drop of milk (or suchlike) from their comrades in rent-paying?
 
 
Tryphena Absent
16:48 / 27.04.05
Erm, I'd be pissed off about the milk for about 30 seconds and then remember the last time I happily thieved it from someone else. The frying pan wouldn't bother me in the slightest. In shared housing you generally expect people to use your kitchen stuff.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
17:04 / 27.04.05
I had a flatmate who went mental when I stole ONE FUCKING CIGARETTE from her. Never mind that I went away from the weekend leaving a fiver for beer when I got home... only to get home to "I didn't think you'd mind..."
Did I mention she owes me £7,000? For rent? (That's NOT an exaggeration, by the way- although I'm not the landlord. I'm the dumb fuck who lent her money month after moth to keep the landlord away).

Realistically, it all depends on the rules you set to start with. Bread, milk, sugar, salt, possibly cheese depending on how close you are... these are communal things, in most house-share situations. It's usually worth finding out, though.

(BTW... my first paragraph is TRUE. It was either here or the anger thread, and I figured it went with the subject on this one.)
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
17:06 / 27.04.05
Oh, and as regards utensils- anyone who gets pissy about pans, cups etc should keep 'em in their own room.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
17:06 / 27.04.05
...or stay away from normal folks and go and live in a shed.
 
 
slinkyvagabond
18:28 / 27.04.05
7,000 fucking pounds. Wow, lending people money is such a bad idea.

Yeah, I reckon she'll get over the milk. It just amuses me that the only reason I felt guilty was because she caught me at it.
 
 
Papess
18:38 / 27.04.05
...possibly cheese depending on how close you are...

Yep Stoats, cheese sharing is definately for more intimate relationships. Don't share your cheese with just anyone, people!
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
18:50 / 27.04.05
yup, Strix, especially expensive cheese. (Actually, cheese-sharing was one thing we managed alright, this old flatmate and I. It was just money and cigarettes that caused problems. Actually, come to think of it, I stopped eating cheese after a while.)
 
 
Papess
19:38 / 27.04.05
Keep your hands off my Torta de Casar!
 
 
Triplets
19:42 / 27.04.05
YOU DAIRY THIEVES ARE GOING TO HELL AT HITLER SPEED
 
 
w1rebaby
19:51 / 27.04.05
Milk-sharing is not theft.
 
 
Shrug
20:23 / 27.04.05
I've found some people to be the personification of pettiness while flat-sharing. It's never a nice experience when someone's voice becomes tonally demonic and their eyes fleck red because you've borrowed the milk or had the last slice of toast.
But then again you haven't lived until your woken up by a swift thwack of an empty pineapple tin at 5am by your bug eyed coke-fuelled flatmate "YOU FUCK YOU ATE MY BROWN BREAD I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU SUFFER YOU FUCK YOU FUCK". etc.
I really should be more careful who I live with.
 
 
grant
20:26 / 27.04.05
I have two college friends who moved in with each other for a while a few years after graduation.

Funny thing: the one of them had to explain to the other one how he had invisible bread.

That bread in the refrigerator, second shelf, right-hand side? You don't see it.

It's invisible.
 
 
lekvar
20:40 / 27.04.05
I always figured that

-People worked this sort of thing out when they first moved in together, and that anything not specifically offered was to be asked after. (usually with "Of course! Help yourself!" being the reply if both parties were remotely civilized)

-What a roomate didn't know wouldn't kill them.

-Fatmates who get bent out of shape about pots, pans, plates, silverware, whatnot should swiftly killed and replaced.
 
 
Triplets
21:05 / 27.04.05
But Spider, DID you eat his brown bread?
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
21:07 / 27.04.05
lekvar's almost right there...

to be TOTALLY right, however, ze'd've had to add...

..."although, just avoid living with people. They're generally bad news. NOBODY'S as reasonable as you are."
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
21:09 / 27.04.05
Oh, and DON'T, under ANY circumstances, pay their rent. Even once. It leads to a bad habit.

...I think I should take this elsewhere. Sorry, everyone.
 
 
Shrug
21:18 / 27.04.05
I feel that like cigarettes, brown bread although a resplendent snack is so numerous in quantity throughout a life time that one slice in an ocean of slices should not be counted or hoarded as it will neither be remembered or savoured in the memories of the future.
besides "I FEEL" the brown bread is incidental in this story
 
 
lekvar
21:19 / 27.04.05
NOBODY'S as reasonable as you are.
I thought this went without saying.
 
 
Papess
21:24 / 27.04.05
Fatmates...

This an outrage! What kind of prejudice crap is this. Sometimes thin mates are just as petty as...What? What is that you say, Lekvar? Typo?

Oops.

But tell me, what kind of a freak eats brown bread when they are coked up? Really?
 
 
Tryphena Absent
21:25 / 27.04.05
The only time I've ever aggressively sworn at a flatmate was during university, I woke up for a lecture and went into the living room for 10 minutes of breakfast news. My flatmate cornered me and started whining about some guy she liked and had liked for months without giving him any indication at all. At that moment I became the flatmate from hell. Please steal my milk but never tell me about your unrequited love at 8am. I did feel bad afterwards.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
21:25 / 27.04.05
I wasn't living with Steve.
 
 
Shrug
21:30 / 27.04.05
I don't think he wanted to eat it, just the fact that the last slice was gone and he was in a coke fuelled righteousness spiral.
I mean it's not like I didn't share out the "found down the back of the couch money".
-
Through various flatmoves and/or robberies I appear to have lost a sizeable portion of my c.d.'s. I mean milk is one thing do you purloin music and or books?
 
 
Ganesh
21:36 / 27.04.05
I wasn't living with Steve.

I should hope not. You're clearly somewhat lacking in wingmanship.
 
 
HCE
22:39 / 27.04.05
I disagree with most of you. I started buying kitchen equipment about ten years ago and have spent an enormous amount of time researching my purchases, worked very hard to earn the money for them, and spent lots of money to get high-quality knives, pans, flatware, stemware, and appliances. Why should my things that I put so much effort and care into acquiring and keeping in excellent condition be public property? I very recently had to endure my roommate asking me whether I was aware that ceramics are 'baked' at a high temperature (and implying that I was being a cunt because I didn't want him warming up his food in the oven in my earthenware bowls). I almost dropped dead of a heart attack.

If you want to go shopping, the place to do it is at the market, not from amongst somebody else's food. I don't want other people wearing my shoes, 'borrowing' my tampons, or helping themselves to tablespoonfuls of the saffron my grandmother brought over from Iran to make saffron risotto which then turns out to be the color of cheetos and has to be discarded, because the individual in question has never used saffron before and doesn't know what a saffron 'thread' is.

If you do help yourselves to other people's things, at least have the courtesy to replace them with the same product and not a cheap substitute. A bag of generic rice from the supermarket is not the same as a box of Vialone Nano brought in from Italy by a visitor. Ditto for balsamic vinegar, single-malt scotch, dark chocolate, and crystal wineglasses.

It's not only about expensive items, either. If I bought a dozen eggs, it's because I need or want a dozen eggs. Not eight eggs, not ten eggs, a dozen. Why should I have to guess how many eggs you will eat and add that to the total when I'm shopping to ensure that I have a dozen?

And if I give you money for something, I expect my change back, too.

>
 
 
Billuccho!
23:12 / 27.04.05
Come on! You live together. Share together!

< /Mr. Rogers >
 
 
Brigade du jour
23:42 / 27.04.05
I don't mind nicking food and stuff so much as not cleaning up after yourself. That gets on my tits a bit, but then I recently moved into a shed on Stoatie's sage advice so everything's okay now!

I kind of prefer living alone, or at least I'm very protective of my own little space. I think it comes of being an only child. Or maybe a psycho.
 
 
_Boboss
11:30 / 28.04.05
you're allowed to be as arsey about your special precious things as you want.

when you've got your own flat. til then, don't pretend you're not just some studente shitsucker, and if you're out of milk the shop's never that far.
 
 
Loomis
11:45 / 28.04.05
I think the bottom line with all of this is (as has been said) agreeing to rules at the beginning and sticking by them. If you agree not to use someone's pan or their milk, then you are a fuckwit if you break that promise. If you think they're uptight then don't live with them.

Most people don't care about nicking a slice of bread or sharing pans and will happily agree at the beginning that that sort of stuff is fine. In fact it's probably a good idea to ask about their sharing policy before you move in. But like I said, if you agree to the arrangement and then break it, blaming someone else for the arangement you agreed to just makes you more of a twat.
 
 
Ariadne
11:59 / 28.04.05
I think you should be fair, though - taking bread from a half-empty loaf or a half empty milk carton is entirely different to finishing it off.
 
 
Grey Area
12:47 / 28.04.05
What pisses me off is if someone uses my milk, leaves a dribble in the bottom of the bottle and puts it back in the fridge. That's worse than finishing it. Just bloody well drink the whole lot and throw the bottle away. I'll still be slightly annoyed if you don't have the decency to replace it, but it'll be nowhere near the annoyance I'll feel at seeing that last dribble slopping around.

As regards kitchenware, my attitude is the same as Nightclub's. I've come home to find a hole in my baking sieve, my kitchen scales in pieces and my vegetable knife missing a sizeable chunk out of its cutting edge. Admittedly, the story behind how all this managed to happen within two hours was somewhat entertaining, but it wasn't the nicest thing to have happen. Especially when the individual thought that he could replace the items with generic utensils out of Poundstretcher. You touch my cast-iron frying pan on pain of pain.

I think there's nothing arsey about pointing out that some of your possessions are not for common use. I didn't kick up a fuss about people using my plates, glasses, cutlery and the kitchenware I left in the common area, but there were some things I left in my cupboard that were clearly not for common use. It's a similar situation to having a vegetarian or vegan living in your flat who doesn't like using utensils that have touched meat or other animal products: You respect that, and live around it.
 
 
Benny the Ball
12:56 / 28.04.05
I share with my best friend/hetro life partner so sharing is natural for us, but I'd hate to live with anyone that I didn't know well enough to not care.
 
 
w1rebaby
13:10 / 28.04.05
Annoyance factor goes, in ascending order:

* consuming anything which can be bought at the corner shop

* consuming something which can be bought and wasn't that expensive, but with slightly more effort involved e.g. chicken pieces

* using something and not washing it up

* using something and pretending to wash it up, but putting it back in the cupboard all greasy so you don't notice until you actually come to use it

* consuming something that you were planning on using or eating later on

* repeatedly stealing milk/bread/cigarettes and not realising that you saying "okay, just buy me some more later" means that they actually have to do that

* damage to generic cookery items which you can get anywhere (sieves, boring glasses)

* damage to specific cookery items resulting from ignorance or fuckwittedness (washing the wok with soap, chipping the non-stick pan etc)

* the above, but when you've said to their faces "don't use the wok unless you make sure you clean it like this..." and they nodded and went "yup, I understand completely"

* consuming something that you were planning on using or eating later on as part of a special occasion, and they knew this, and there were notes on the item saying "DO NOT EAT THIS IT IS SPECIAL I WILL KILL YOU"

* drinking my booze and then falling asleep and the offies are closed
 
 
HCE
16:06 / 28.04.05
"if you're out of milk the shop's never that far"

Exactly. So if you are out of milk, go buy some, because I am not out of milk.

Let me add that the whole 'slice of bread' concept is fine if A) it is actually a slice of bread and not the last half of the loaf, and B) it goes both ways. If you never have anything I want because you buy and make cheap and unappetizing food, then this alleged sharing is not in fact sharing at all -- it is mooching, or sponging, or whatever your local term is.

"What's mine is yours and what's your is mine but I don't have anything so what's yours is mine."
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
16:44 / 28.04.05
Well, yes. Sharing does work both ways. Otherwise it's not sharing at all, it's taking the piss.
 
  

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