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Gift Ideas

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William Sack

08:39 / 19.04.05

I am useless at gifts, which is generally not a problem because Mrs. J handles that sort of thing. However, she is as stumped as I am as to what to get for her cousin for his 40th birthday. I need advice and ideas, serious or silly, it doesn't matter. The budget is £50 (more than normal because he is inviting us to a rather nice do, and he was very generous with his wedding gift to us.)

The recipient: male, 40, father of 2. The problem is that he is pretty damn wealthy and is the sort of person who, if he wants or needs something, will generally buy it or get it given to him. Nothing known about tastes in books, music, films, etc. I guess the question is what to get the man who has everything. The only half decent idea I have has so far (courtesy of the "Balls shaven" thread) is some vouchers for a back, sack, and crack wax. He wouldn't redeem them I am sure, but it's a bit of a giggle.

Help. And feel free to add your own requests for advice.

Loomis

09:05 / 19.04.05

Vasectomy?

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

Not buying something that the recipient might buy for themselves is key, I think. That's my first rule of gift giving. So swim against the value-for-money instinct, because however much money they have, people don't buy things for themselves that they don't think represent good value for money.
The approach that works for me is to decide your budget, and then chose a gift for which your budget would be the most you could possibly spend on that type of thing. So, £50 - think accessories; think socks; think stationery...
Although I think your current idea is quite a good one. A well executed throwaway gag, that got one big guffaw out of him on the day, would also be money well spent, I reckon.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

10:56 / 19.04.05

Send him off to a recording studio to record his favourite song. You can laugh at him and he'll enjoy it. Or won't he?

William Sack

11:34 / 19.04.05

Recording the song sounds interesting Money $hot. I think he'd enjoy it, but might struggle to find the time to do it. Any idea about how much it might cost? An acre of moon sounds good too, but delivery of deeds to the UK takes 14-21 days, which is well after the birthday.

Smoothly, I think your VFM-be-damned approach is spot on, but £50 for a pair of socks?

Loomis, I imagine he's prefer his balls pampered than neutered.

Smoothly

12:25 / 19.04.05

No honestly, wouldn't you like a pair of really luxurious socks? Cashmere or something? I almost spent £300 on a pair of Hermes bed-socks for someone one Christmas (until I came to my senses), and you know, I now kinda regret that I didn't. You see, I can't remember what I got instead - and I expect the recipient can't either. But ze would have remembered getting a £300 pair of socks.

Loomis

12:35 / 19.04.05

I reckon you're on the money there Smoothly. The best presents are things you wouldn't buy for yourself because it seems wasteful, but you're happy to accept them as a gift. Mind you, I don't think this strategy would work with someone who doesn't have much money and would probably prefer something practical. But in this instance it fits the bill perfectly.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

13:33 / 19.04.05

I was going to say socks (they are, after all, the ultimate gift- or so says my mum) but didn't have the imagination to think of really expensive ones. I was going to suggests loads and loads of crappy cheap ones. Classy, me.

Loomis

13:41 / 19.04.05

I can advise against the cheap socks. I once bought five pairs for a pound and on closer inspection it appeared as though they weren't actually sewn but simply pressed together from clumps of thread. (This is only a slight exaggeration.) For months the flat was full of little clumps of black stuff until I finally gave in.

Socks in general however are ace. Slipping on a quality sock that fits well is a true pleasure. Not to mention that when the sock puppets take over, I'll be on the winning team. Oh yes.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

13:43 / 19.04.05

How much are monkeys going for these days?

Ariadne

13:50 / 19.04.05

I think you'll get about 17 socks per monkey, but one'll have to be stripey.

William Sack

13:50 / 19.04.05

Well you can get a share of one for about £20 Stoatie. In fact I went to London Zoo's website earlier today to look at the animal adoption section. One of the best presents I ever got for someone (and bear in mind I confessed to being crap at presents earlier) was an adopted echidna.

Loomis, there's something appealing about the idea of getting my wife's cousin 250 crap pairs of socks. I don't think it's a gift he would forget.

Smoothly

13:53 / 19.04.05

Not to mention that when the sock puppets take over, I'll be on the winning team. Oh yes.

Winning side? Are you mad? Think about it, man. When the puppets see you wearing the gutted skins of their comrades on your *feet*... you'll be the first up against the wall! Or what are you trying to tell me? That my leather jacket is going to ingratiate me when the cows rise up against us? That my lavatorial routine is going to protect me when we're invaded by planet Andrex...?

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

13:53 / 19.04.05

Hey Mr Jackson! Check your PM.

Loomis

14:10 / 19.04.05

You make a fair point Smoothly. I was coming from a different angle though. People keep telling me that I should eat cows because otherwise there would be too many and they would be unhappy, so I figured I could do the same with socks. Thin out the numbers a little to prepare the way for the sock overlords. They'll appreciate my work when they arrive, as I only wear the skins of dissident socks, intellectual and free-thinking socks, socks that don't see things ... correctly.

Smoothly

14:18 / 19.04.05

Ahhhh. You mean those filthy [sotto voce] Argyles [/sv].
I see I see. Very good. Carry on.

rising and revolving

14:34 / 19.04.05

A tarot reading from Mordant!

Or, you know, 250 pairs of crap socks. Because I kind of like the idea of disposible socks - never wash a pair again, just slip on a fresh, clean, pair each morn for a year.

Man, I might even do that for myself...

Ticker

19:00 / 13.11.06

the holiday season is creaking onto the horizon like a swarm of angry jam hungry bees.
Or it is the rumbly purr of a thousand happy cats licking cream.
either way I've got a list.

Barbelith give me more ideas like socks, new comics, movie collections, odd hand crafted items, and hey are you making and selling your own stuff? Please pimp your wares to me!

What would you want for a gifty in the middle of the Northern Hemi's cold dark season?
What relic should I scrounge out of the basement and throttle new life into?

19:44 / 13.11.06

Make chocolate truffles for everyone. They're very simple - at their most basic, you dropped chopped-up chocolate into boiling cream and then roll the mixture into little balls.
You can make them with strange flavours (gin, rosepetal) and you get to scrape the bowl and lick the spoons. Nobody is sad!

Shrug

21:29 / 13.11.06

I have a similar issue. I've decided to get someone a practical, impractical and personal present for their birthday. The practical and personal have already been decided upon. The impractical was going to be an Indian headress (which was indeed wonderful to behold but alas 85euro and way outisde my budget). What would be a good impractical present that one could organise pretty quickly? Aesthetic value and actual tangibility is important.

sorenson

21:38 / 13.11.06

my girlfriend is obsessed with mini plum puddings. (actually, she is obsessed with anything mini.) not so good for individual presents but excellent, easy thing to knock up a batch of for christmas day.

(i can't believe i am talking about christmas already. bah humbug.)

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

00:23 / 14.11.06

(actually, she is obsessed with anything mini.)

*Struggles not to make 'Like your cock' comment*

_FAILS_

Ganesh

00:28 / 14.11.06

A Cute Little Caricature. They're not just for Teh (Horny) Gays.

Ticker

00:40 / 14.11.06

oooh with *bulge*!!!

truffles and 2D images.....and socks.

Ticker

00:50 / 14.11.06

*Struggles not to make 'Like your cock' comment*

_FAILS_

Well that _FAILS_ at being funny.

I collect tiny tea sets, tiny vessels, tiny works of art, tiny rugs, and gothic dollies.

Go on then, say something about my tiny fragile dark lady garden of doom.

sorenson

01:00 / 14.11.06

ooh xk do you have pictures? she would be in heaven...

(*struggles to ignore stupid comment about my humungous cock*

_FAILS_)

Ticker

01:10 / 14.11.06

Sadly there was an incident two years ago and many of the collection didn't survive as the youngest catson went on a Gawdzilla-like rampage through the shelf community.

No set remained intact......

I'm quite fond of my mini alice in wonderland I'll grab a pic if I can in daylight for ya.

grant

10:56 / 14.11.06

book put out by ummm... lemme look... ARGH, can't find it on the shelf.

Called Miniature Rooms put out by the Art Institute of Chicago. (Google! You are better than my bookshelf!)

It is an art book of tiny rooms filled with tiny furniture in tiny consistent styles of tiny decor, like "Arts & Crafts, American" or some such.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

11:23 / 14.11.06

Well that _FAILS_ at being funny.

'Funny' is in the Mind of the guffawing peurile beholder, dear chap. You forgot the de rigeur 'IMHO'.

x

Triplets

13:37 / 14.11.06

Actually, it just really wasn't funny.

Science fact.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

13:41 / 14.11.06

'Funny' is in the Mind of the guffawing peurile beholder, dear chap.

See, if you'd said "old chap" there, now that would have been funny. But not quite in the same way.

petunia

13:56 / 14.11.06

You know Sorenson feels awkward when people talk about his pygmy chicken farm, yet you still made the comment...

Humour?

Malice, more like.

Ticker

14:19 / 14.11.06

I dunno if a book (no matter how glorious as that one certainly is) can really get the SQUEE effect of actually standing before a tiny thing.

I hate to admit it but one day when I have space for it I shall undoubtably create a tiny house with tiny furniture and tiny inhabitants to play with. It will be a magnificant and decandent creature house!!!

Ok so now that I know what to get myself I still need your help with what to get others.

What cool things are out there?

maybe some stylish dead things?

HCE

14:22 / 14.11.06

Remote controlled car.

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