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Well, last Saturday started off with a girl at a nightclub grabbing my hand and pulling me into a toilet cubicle. She locked the door, looked me deep in the eyes and kept stroking her left breast whilst telling me how beautiful I looked. Luckily I managed to escape and I got home safely. My Saturdays don't usually start off like this though. I usually dance a little, keep myself to myself, go home on my own and get up in the morning at about 10am.
I have breakfast whilst watching a programme I taped the night before (usually Jools Holland, Have I got news for you or a Channel 4 music programme) then I buy the Guardian. I flick through it for maybe half an hour, match people and their pets (I always get it right), read one of Dave Eggers' short short stories (which far too often brings me to the verge of tears) followed by Judy Rumbold's column to cheer me up. Judy Rumbold is so petty, obnoxious and self-obsessed, she makes me feel like a decent person. She complains about having to display her children's artwork in her beautifully decorated home and thinks that April is a stupid month for "depression awareness week" because she suffers from seasonal affective disorder and is only depressed in the autumn and winter (never mind those people who are clinically depressed or suicidal and who feel down throughout the year).
I might have a quick look on the internet before going into town to get some stuff from Holland & Barrett or GNC (I'm a vegan and quite reliant on health food shops). My favourite record shop is right next to H&B and a crystal shop has just opened on the other side of the road. I'm not like (most) other girls - I only go clothes shopping about twice a year or so, rarely buy shoes or have my hair cut and I would never spend money on manicures or other silly things like that - but I'm terrible when it comes to CDs and crystals and it doesn't help that all my favourite shops are in the same area.
Then, in the afternoon - this is the best bit - I go riding in the New Forest. Feral ponies, donkeys, cattle, pigs, sheep, pheasants, dear, rabbits (plus geese and a beautiful peacock in someone's garden) - don't tell me this doesn't beat an afternoon at a pub.
In the evening I chill out, have a nice meal and a cuppa, light candles, burn incense and sage, watch Dr Who (obviously!) and read the paper and then get ready to go clubbing at about 10.30pm.
I’ve been single and friendless for so many years now and I’m so used to it that I can’t imagine finding the time to meet up with other people. I haven’t been to a pub for ages, I enjoy relaxing at home before going clubbing. I know that many people spend entire afternoons and evenings (and nights) drinking and chatting but to me that’s a completely alien concept. But I’m happy on my own. Sort of. |
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I'm off Mondays, but the bars and clubs around here are closed on Sundays due to some theocratic local ordinance.