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I'm at that tender age when all of my friends seem to be getting engaged/married, or, as some like to put it, "dropping like flies." The question was asked in another thread what the purpose is for marriage engagement, but here I'm more specifically interested in discussing the tradition of The Ring (not the movie), aka The Rock (not the wrestler). Isn't it about time we dispense with it?
I've been spending a lot of time with one friend in particular who's beginning to apply the engagement ring pressure to her boyfriend of 4 or 5 years. She's picked out a yellow sapphire because she doesn't "need" it to be expensive or a diamond but she does want it to be pretty (and, presumably, at least a semi-precious stone). As I understand things, this is becoming a more common attitude among brides to be.
Meanwhile, my beloved is beginning to apply the engagement ring pressure on himself, as for some unfathomable reason he'd like to make an honest woman of me in the next few years. He often jokes that he's going to get me something more practical, like an Engagement Car, but I suspect he's feeling a bit bound by tradition.
For my own part, I have little to no sentimental attachment to the idea of getting The Rock. Jewelry leaves me cold, and "romantic" tradition generally strikes me as clunky. Since I view our finances are largely joined already, the idea of my boyfriend spending a couple thousand on a ring (that I'm fairly likely to lose, to be honest) makes me tense more than anything else.
But at the same time, I cringe at the thought that he would be viewed as cheap, insensitive, or both if I didn't get The Ring. I imagine telling people we're betrothed and then enduring dozens of, "He didn't even get you a ring??!! What kind of man is that?" - or worse, hearing people say that to his face. Call me cowardly, but I'd kinda rather not buck tradition on what's basically an insignificant issue if it means having to defend my choice forever after. I want to point out that I'm not overeager to get legally bound to my boyfriend, but if he wanted to, I'd certainly say yes - and since I think he's going to ask in the nearish future, I'm worrying about it already. Per the ring, the offer in compromise I'm considering is the not-diamond route, but that seems kind of ludicrous in its own way - I mean it's not like I'm dying for a yellow (or pink, or rainbow) sapphire either. How do modern fiances handle this minor dilemma? |
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