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What will happen to stoatie?

Bed Head

13:44 / 12.04.05

So, I just noticed that Stoatie is about to disrupt the fabric of the entire space-time continuum by being the first human to break the 10,000 post barrier. WHAT will happen to him when he does, and what will it MEAN for the rest of us? I’m thinking possibly some kind of cosmic awareness/travelling thru time paradox/’without any fuss, the stars were going out’-type scenario, kinda thing. Assembled brainiacs, kindly theorise in this thread.

*this post was to have been illustrated with scans from Dr Strange, but there’s no time! there’s no time! Collision with galactic singularity imminent! omg, etc*

Sax

13:52 / 12.04.05

He gets the keys to the Supercontext and a big kiss.

grant

13:53 / 12.04.05

Assimilation into Ganesh.

Why do you think I've been slowing down??

Ganesh

14:01 / 12.04.05

Resistance is elephutile.

Jub

14:05 / 12.04.05

...for it is written:
when the first person reaches the fabled mark of 10,000 - all other users posts get re-set to zilch.

Loomis

14:15 / 12.04.05

He gets an extra life and double points. The board will speed up though and get harder until he loses a life. This could affect all of us.

Bed Head

14:20 / 12.04.05

Could we use that as an excuse to POKE him?

Phex: Dorset Doom

14:50 / 12.04.05

According to Barbelith by-laws published in 1999, he gets a personalised telegram from Grant Morrison and can change his 'fictionsuit' to Kingmob without anyone taking the piss.

HCE

14:56 / 12.04.05

Without anyone taking the piss? Phex, are you mad?

Triplets

15:15 / 12.04.05

I predict fanta will arc out of his penis and a siren on his head will begin to flash.

Alex's Grandma

16:28 / 12.04.05

I suspect Ms Triplets is correct.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

16:51 / 12.04.05

More correct than you could ever imagine.

I must say, I'm a little worried by this.

I'm terrified that when I hit 10,000, some burly men wil come round and force me to, like, leave the house, and go outside and stuff.

agvvv

17:29 / 12.04.05

You dont know half of it Stoatie.. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

agvvv

17:30 / 12.04.05

You will, indeed, implode..

Axolotl

17:30 / 12.04.05

I see it being more like the origins of Galactus. Barbelith will collapse, and in the process Stoatie will become a being of immense power roaming the internet seeking other fora to devour.

agvvv

17:34 / 12.04.05

Forever trapped in stephen hawkings body

electric monk

23:24 / 12.04.05

"...and Agent Smith just plugs his ass. Four. Five. Six. Times. Sick, dude. And his pals're all like "Oh no!" and Agent Smith's all like "Fuck yeah". But then he stands up. Dude, Stoatie realizes something. And he's fuckin' like "it didn't hurt" and he stands up. And then he's like "Come on Agent fucktards." And they're all like "I dunno". And he just proceeds to take 'em out man. Agent muthafuckas, man. And he was all bored! And just blocking punches like it warn't no thang. And they do a close-up of Stoatie, and a close-up or Morphhaus. And Morphhaus is all like, "He is The One."

Of course.

Saint Keggers

23:26 / 12.04.05

I believe he gets sacrificed to the Old Gods.

Alex's Grandma

23:39 / 12.04.05

Let's just hope Mr Funny doesn't manifest in Stoat's living room, a bit later on - I wouldn't mention this at all, but Mr Funny PMed me a bit earlier, and seems to be in a sociable mood. Frankly, the guy seems priapic.

Tryphena Absent

00:00 / 13.04.05

Mr Fu - Mr Fu - Mr Funny can type? He, can't use felt tip pens, can he? Because I think that would mean trouble.

Alex's Grandma

00:17 / 13.04.05

Mr Funny can't use felt tip pens to 'write' with, certainly.

Mr Funny has other plans.

Tryphena Absent

00:19 / 13.04.05

Well, as long as he can't use the felt tips we can still fight him. Like rebel soldiers.

astrojax69

01:31 / 13.04.05

nothing at all will happen - the world will continue as it always has and we realise that we should have been using base 12 mathematics all along...

or the stars might all begin, one by one, to blink out...?

---

02:24 / 13.04.05

I expect him to appear infront of us all simultaneously, the second he hit's the magick number wearing a cape like Superman and drag us all into the 'context, man.

XXII:X:II = XXX

03:12 / 13.04.05

You're all daft.

The reality is that the server upon which the forum is located will finally know love, and know that said love is named Stoatie. It will reach out through cuberspace, its circuitry fingers probing, seeking, until finally it locates that one which he uses. It will then command that computer to physically bond with Stoatie, which in a romantic view might appear like the end of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, but in reality will likely more resemble what became of Robert Vaughn's butchy sister at the end of Superman III. The agony will be exquisite. Then he will ascend to Lawnmower Man godhood, shitty CGI and all, and be included in visual mixes on mid-'90's rave video walls. Be sure to wave hi to him with your glow wand.

/+,

iamus

10:57 / 13.04.05

He becomes head madame and is the one who gets picked to sleep with all the visiting ambassadors.

Liger Null

17:14 / 13.04.05

{threadrot}

I still can't get rid of the image of Agent Smith plugging Neo's ass.

{/rot}

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

22:49 / 19.04.05

Ha ha! It happened 30-odd posts ago...

...and it's my secret.

Olulabelle

22:51 / 19.04.05

Ooooh. So you didn't implode?

Yay!