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Comics Creation Help

Withiel: DALI'S ROTTWEILER

17:19 / 11.04.05

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Chapters one and one half here

Basically, I scripted and drew this last year, and was pleased with it. Then I went back and looked at it recently, and realised that it essentially wasn't very good. The problem is that despite having looked through all the information I could get hold of (Which unfortunately does not include Understanding Comics, or anything else useful like that, due to budget restrictions), I still can't work out exactly what's wrong with it. Therefore, I turn to lovely Barbeloids to tell me exactly why my work is shite. In the nicest of possible ways, of course.

Quick summary of what it's all meant to be about: it's meant to be a sort of frenetic Steampunk-styled fantasy with lots of robots and pirates and airships and things, but with an undertone of nastiness that gives a bit more weight to the proceedings.

Thanks very much in anticipation of helpful help.

18:16 / 11.04.05

Well the art's excellent, and the script seems good, but the lay-out's a bit all over the place, IMVHO. I know precisely bugger all about putting together a comix page, but I'd tend to err on the side of avoiding too much cross-hatching, were I you.

Also ( and this is a personal prejudice, admittedly, ) why robots ? Why Sci-fi ? These are arguably rather bad times for the human race at the moment, but if nothing else, at least they're interesting. To the point where even going to the shops seems like a charged political act - when the world is so odd, why bother with making too much up ?

Withiel: DALI'S ROTTWEILER

19:12 / 11.04.05

"I'd tend to err on the side of avoiding too much cross-hatching, were I you."
After it took me about two hours per page* on the inking job, I realised this as well. *rueful grin* You can actually see the linesandlinesandlines being phased out at the start of the second chapter, as I realise that if I don't make it a bit less frenetic then my hands will drop off...

In defence of my sci-fi-ness, it's not so much an escapist thing as it is an attempt at concentrating things: I'm trying to jam all the cultural and fictional tropes of my perception of society into one consistent fictional world, in order to examine them more closely. It's not meant to be a work of escapism, although I understand that from this extract (there are more pages, but I haven't got round to inking them yet) it doesn't look like it.

Also, I really like drawing something where I get to stick in robots and pirates and airships all one one page. *blissful smile*

However, I see what you mean about the page layout, especially on the page with the circular panels and all the blank space. Is there a guide somewhere to panel construction, or is this something that has to be intuitively learnt?

*because I bore easily, this is a lot in my mind.

at the scarwash

19:19 / 11.04.05

Firstly, gutters would help a lot. the layout lacks flow because every panel is ass-against the next. there's no spacing, which makes the sense of time kind of wonky. also, the constant switching of layout styles seems kind of arbitrary.

I think that you should work on your anatomy a little bit, or go in a more cartoony direction with your character designs. I like a lot of what you're doing there so far, especially in the crew portraits in the 2nd chapter. But as far as anatomy is concerned, the captains hands inthe last panel could be knuckle-side up attached on the wrong arm. And why is a ginormous Robot-suited corsair holding out his hands in a supplicatory gesture to a new crewman?

You also need to maintain a level of style and craftmanship from panel to panel. in the first panel of the second chapter, your cross-hatching is minimal and sloppy. The backgrounding and composition are unimaginative. The huge black shock of hair at right dominates everything else in the panel. The next four panels are well-executed, careful, and imaginative. discontunity on this level not only breaks narrative flow, it comes across as lazy to the reader.

i think it's a good first draft. keep trying, and let us see new editions.