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Im falling apart

16:22 / 11.04.05

Im having a nervous breakdown. I feel like Im dying, I have nowhere else to turn to right now.. please speak to me

16:25 / 11.04.05

Mr. Slightly,

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. Try to calm yourself. I'm listening.

16:27 / 11.04.05

Depending where you live, you probably do have more options than you realise. If it's helpful, though, go ahead and tell us what's happening.

16:39 / 11.04.05

Ok. My mother is in a psycriathic institution. I feel like I havent met her in five weeks, even though I have. Shes not herself at all and I dont know how long she will stay there.. On top of that my girlfriend has broken up/put the relationship on hold. Im totally lost without her, it sounds cheesy but she really is my other half. She is going through a depression(like for the last three years, really bad now), so Im afraid of making things worse for her by laying too much upon her so to speak. Im constantly seeing her i various sexual situatuions with others. Just giving a girl a flirty look at a party etc makes me feel really guilty, even though I know it doesnt mean a thing. Probably just sexual frustration or whatever.

And its spring. Im supposed to be outside etc, but the fantastic weather makes things worse. Im sorry to be rambling on like this, but it actually helps. To top things of pathetic-wise. Im 19

16:41 / 11.04.05

correction: But when I see myself in the same situations, I feel guilty etc. Just giving a girl a flirty look at a party etc makes me feel really guilty, even though I know it doesnt mean a thing.

16:49 / 11.04.05

I've no idea where you live. Are you based in the UK, US or where?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

16:50 / 11.04.05

Fuck, Mr S... I'm really sorry to hear all that (and believe it or not, I've been worrying/thinking about you a lot the last few days just from what you've said in LS threads)- all I can offer is sympathy, of which you can have as much as you want- I've got tons.

I'm not too good on the advice front, however; though, as Ganesh says, you probably have more avenues than you think you do.

You probably don't wanna go relying on a bunch of internet people (by which I mean to the exclusion of other things), but we ARE here.

16:52 / 11.04.05

Thanks Stoatie

Im in norway

16:56 / 11.04.05

Slightly -

i had a bad breakup with someone a year ago. i may not have felt quite the same then as you do now, but I [i]do[/i] know what it is to feel that your other half is missing.

I think Ganesh's advice is good too... Do you think trying to get as much info as possible about the nature of your mother's treatment would help you to get a clearer picture of what is going on?

17:02 / 11.04.05

Norway, eh?

*looks clueless*

I know nothing about Norwegian healthcare, but don't you have some equivalent of the Samaritans ie. some sort of counselling service to which you can self-refer? Could your doctor put you in touch with a counsellor locally, or are there numbers for telephone counsellors in your 'phone book? Could anyone on the ward where your mother's staying help, if you explained the stress you're feeling? If they can't help you themselves, pretty much any psychiatric institute should be able to point you in the direction of local counselling services.

From what you've said so far (which, admittedly, isn't much), it doesn't sound like you're suffering a "nervous breakdown" in terms of actual psychiatric illness, but you do seem to be under a lot of stress. The Internet's not really a substitute for Real Life support, though; you really need to find a face-to-face confidante, or at least a voice on the end of the 'phone.

17:05 / 11.04.05

Its true. Its not a nervous breakdown.. i just dont know.. and youre right, I need someone to talk too.. but first of all I will crawl into my bed and sleep

17:09 / 11.04.05

Like stoat says, it may not be much, but the 'lith has your back.

Well, after writing three different versions of advice and hopeful messages, I've decided I'm no good at it. Basically though, just remember that you got friends, and you're not alone in what you feel. I've been through/am going through some similar issues, and I know it's really hard to deal with.

*reads what has been posted since reply was started* Listen to Ganesh. He's got some great advice there. Sometimes you just can't deal with these things on your own, and seeking help is a great option.

*reads more....damn people keep posting...* Just don't over do it on the sleep. Good luck, and don't forget you've got pals on Barbelith.

18:32 / 11.04.05

thanks guys.. feeling better now, really looking forward to eating..hehe

19:14 / 11.04.05

Mr.Slightly, I feel for you and your difficulties right now. I am feeling rather low myself today so that is the best I can do. I hope the best for your and suggest like others have, that you seek some help in person.

Take care of yourself.

19:19 / 11.04.05

Slightly, all I can offer besides sympathy is my own little mantra that I repeat to get myself through lowly times - "There have been days better than this. There will be days better than this again." I always try to remember the last time it seemed like nothing would ever be okay again, and that it was... sorry if that's overly simplistic, but it does work for me.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

19:55 / 11.04.05

I'm sorry you feel so low, man. This is a hell of a lot for a young person to deal with and you shouldn't beat yourself up for feeling the strain. You have my sympathies and I hope you find the help you need soon.

00:29 / 12.04.05

i'm sorry to hear you're feeling low... you have my sympathy.

i can recount that talking to someone about how you feel when you are this dismal, and talking about what you are thinking, can be a tremendous help. as can keeping a private journal of thoughts and moods. a way of talking to yourself...

talk to your doctor or better, talk to your friends. if they are your friends, they will listen. that is so important. we are listening. : )

how are you today? did a sleep make you feel better? for me when i had depression (just coming out the other end now, really...) i found myself tired and listless no matter how much sleep i got. but i liked sleep as an escape... try exercise, i really felt better for that. it was hard to summon the motivation sometimes, but it is worth it in the end.

but don't bottle everything inside. please.

Tryphena Absent

00:41 / 12.04.05

When I was at university one of my friends' mothers was institutionalised for a short period, not for the first time because she was a manic depressive, but it really effected my friend for a whole number of reasons. We lived in the same house and I remember walking into the kitchen and just finding her crying over her dinner because she was just so desperately upset that her mum was in a bad way again.

You mustn't think you're alone in this. In Norway alone there must be loads of people of your age who are in the same situation as you, and while some of us might have a difficult time understanding what's going on for you, there are people who would really get it. So don't feel lonely and don't feel in anyway ashamed of your reaction to what's going on with your family and with your girlfriend. These things that are horrible individually are even worse when they happen at the same time and of course you can talk about it here and you shouldn't regret that either. And good weather makes everything worse when you feel depressed- I definitely do understand that!

Tryphena Absent

00:44 / 12.04.05

I also want to add that I think one of the things that people find most difficult to talk about is parents who are or have been institutionalised because it's almost like you're betraying them somehow by recognising that they're infallible to so many other people. That's why seeking out someone who you're close to or someone totally impartial is a good idea when this stuff happens to you.

00:48 / 12.04.05

Mr S;

You aren't the Knowledge, are you ?

Tryphena Absent

01:15 / 12.04.05

The Knowledge with 952 posts and moderation powers? You'd better bloody hope not.

11:21 / 12.04.05

Wow, thanks for all the support guys.. really good advice from all of you.. And no, I am not the knowledge, why would you think that Alex?