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Ambassador of the blue planet

iamus

01:45 / 02.04.05

As an example of the combined greatness of Earth's and the human race, I offer two things.

Chocolate - Obvious really. The single best foodstuff on the face of this planet. Guaranteed to appeal to the decadent side of any successful advanced society. It'd be perfect for trading and thus ingratiating ourselves to those with bigger guns than us. And none of this "what if they can't digest it" shite. If they can travel billions of light years in their amazing spaceships, they can synthesise the required digestive enzymes no problem.

Tetris - Not just one of the most perfect puzzles in the history of videogames, but one of the most perfect puzzles in the history of humanity. Maths would most likely be our common language so I'd give them something that they can relate to and enjoy at the same time. It's also making order out of chaos. A noble aim, also relatable.

What would you give? Feel free to offer up more than two things.

That's bloody genius, Qalyn!

I offer them... Gummie Bears

Katherine

04:08 / 02.04.05

Alcohol in it's many wonderful forms. After all if we are going to give them chocolate they need to know the pleasure which is chocolate and Baileys.

Our Lady Has Left the Building

05:16 / 02.04.05

We need to give them bread and milk, we need to gay them up and, if they prove violent, that milk will have made their bones nice and brittle.

Jesus-love.

Thank you, Keggers. Everyone knows "Rock Me Amadeus", of course, but "Jeannie" really is a song worthy of Wyld Stallyns.

JEANNY! quit livin' on dreams
JEANNY! life is not what it seems
Such a lonely little girl in a cold, cold world
There's someone who needs you
JEANNY!

I'm getting all misty over here.

Newsflash:
in den letzten monaten ist die zahl
der vermißten personen dramatisch angestiegen
die jüngste veröffentlichung der lokalen polizei-
behörde berichtet von einem weiteren tragischen fall.

unheimlich manoeuvre

10:45 / 02.04.05

As Keggers said, genius Qalyn.

What do we offer? Nothing less than the finest Tea and Crumpets.

Tryphena Absent

11:15 / 02.04.05

Er war superstar, superstar...

Baby baby do it to me rock me
Baby baby do it to me rock me
Baby baby do it to me rock me
Ja ja ja

8===>Q: alyn

12:16 / 02.04.05

Is there anyone talking about whether the aliens have Jesus in their hearts? Seriously, I want to know. Maybe the Old Testament took place on another planet, right? And that's why we have to make up evidence of the Flood and all that. And God is really this telepathic alien, only he's, like, a child or an idiot.

Shizzle, my nizzle, blowing my mind here!

8===>Q: alyn

13:03 / 02.04.05

FREMTOL: A spice dealer
JLGRK: A quantum surfer
LO: LJGRK's girlfriend

FREMTOL: Jlgrk, bodong*, you gotta stay away from that Earth. You remember that psycho Jehova?

JLGRK: Yeah, he carried around that big sword?

FREMTOL: Well, he went to Earth a few space-cycles ago and now they WORSHIP him. And then my man Christ went down to straighten it out, and they nailed him to a tree!

LO: You're really glossing over a lot there, Fremtol. It's more complicated than that and anyway Earth has the best Thai food in the whole nebula.

JLGRK: (shrugs)

Exeunt

*bodong = alien for dude.

Papess

13:22 / 02.04.05

Maple syrup.

Hedgehogs.

William Shatner.

Tezcatlipoca

13:46 / 02.04.05

William Shatner

Presumably this is meant (a) as a joke, or (b), as a peace offering designed to stop the terrible havoc our new alien overlords are likely to wreak.

8===>Q: alyn

13:53 / 02.04.05

This is when aliens come to Earth, Strix, not when Americans come to Canada.

Papess

15:08 / 02.04.05

This is when aliens come to Earth, Strix, not when Americans come to Canada.

What was the difference, again? ;oP

I was pimping out Shatner to the aliens as a cosmic boytoy so they coud have their way with him. After all, he has (fictionally) sexed more alien life forms than anyone else on this planet and would certainly (at least in theory), be more familiar with extraneous sexual practices. Whether he is Canadian or not was entirely irrelevant...or maybe it's not. *puzzles*

Everyone has to try maple syrup, and hedgehogs are hardly Canadian. But then, being an American, you wouldn't know that.

Olulabelle

17:15 / 02.04.05

All the World Heritage sites, because it proves that even though this current civilisation of ours seem intent upon destroying the planet, people in the past had some semblance of intelligence.

Oh, and and flying saucer sweets.

Because they'll feel familiar and they are quite simply God in confectionery form.

Papess

17:44 / 02.04.05

Because they'll feel familiar and they are quite simply God in confectionery form.

Because they are made out of the same stuff as host?

Olulabelle

17:57 / 02.04.05

Are aliens basically sugar then?

Papess

17:58 / 02.04.05

No, no. Host, as in communion.

8===>Q: alyn

18:57 / 02.04.05

This is when aliens come to Earth, Strix, not when Americans come to Canada.

What was the difference, again? ;oP

Aliens didn't invent the blooming onion.

Papess

19:07 / 02.04.05

Yeah, that's what they tell you.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

19:16 / 02.04.05

I think you guys made up the blooming onion. I've never seen one so they can't be real.

I would sit the Aliens down in my front room and we would watch Monkey and eat Salt'n'Vinegar crisps.

■

19:22 / 02.04.05

Tunnocks Caramel Wafers. and Philip Pullman novels.

Papess

19:23 / 02.04.05

Captain Zoom

23:21 / 02.04.05

I'd give 'em Sigur Ros' ( ) album and then tell them if they can't appreciate music this brilliant, they ought to bugger off home.

Xenophobe, moi?

8===>Q: alyn

23:56 / 02.04.05

Hah ha ha! Strix, that's awesome!

I think you guys made up the blooming onion. I've never seen one so they can't be real.

Alien! You're an alien!

Seriously, I think the aliens would enjoy a Wes Anderson marathon.

XXII:X:II = XXX

04:57 / 03.04.05

Da chron.

Barring that, Jenna Jameson.

/+,

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

08:58 / 04.04.05

Parrots and doubloons. And grog.

(Of course, the aliens probably have thermal-heat-imaging-vision-glowy-x-ray-stuff, so they'll see any stupid ninjas hiding a mile off).

And ROCK.

And t-shirts or mugs saying "I heart Earth".

Tryphena Absent

09:33 / 04.04.05

I feel we're missing the obvious here-

VS.

I think that's everything you ever needed to know about western civilisation really.

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