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Party Animals

 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
10:55 / 07.03.05
Been thinking about this one a bit, as have been to varying parties in varying moods over the last couple of weeks....

Does an invite to a party freeze you with horror or get your bounce on? Do you feel behooved(?) to meet new people or just hang out with yr mates....

Do you throw great parties? HOW? tell me...

All styles of party welcome...
 
 
JOY NO WRY
12:28 / 07.03.05
The parties I tend to go to are the 15-20 people over the course of a night drinking in somebodies living room; but thats only because of my currently limited circle of friends. The kind I prefer are like that, but on a bigger scale - as in far too many people squashed into one house. I like it when everybody knows each other, or else has seen each other around, because then socialising is much easier. I used to play the Moody Guy In The Corner role, but one or two parties that I went to when I was about 17 opened up my eyes to the sheer destruction that lies just below the surface of all the small talk, waiting to be unleashed. It made me eager to always be involved. As far as I see it now, its not a proper party unless theres at least one break up, two new couples, a good proportion of people tripping and maybe an arrest or two.
 
 
Sekhmet
12:40 / 07.03.05
The keys to throwing a good party are booze, food, music, and drugs, in that order. The mix of people is also important, as is the attitude of the host.

I've been studying the art of party-throwing for many years now, and am happy to report that for my last birthday I successfully got about forty people into 80's costumes and participating happily in a lip-synching contest. Not an easy task, but ah, the photographs...
 
 
JOY NO WRY
13:13 / 07.03.05
Food is in your list of the most important things at a party? I'm not so sure about that one (Although I bow before one who has mastered the delicate lip-synching party technique). Food always seems to serve only as a focus for peoples concentration, drawing them away from socialising. And its only edible for the first ten minutes, after that its full of cigarette butts and spilt drinks. Or is this just my parties?
 
 
Sekhmet
14:17 / 07.03.05
I suppose it depends on the type of crowd you have, and what sort of party it is. Many of our gatherings are very food-oriented, being in essence either cookouts or large dinner parties.

My friends are, for the most part, either foodies or pot smokers, which makes it very necessary to at least have a decent selection of snacks (both salty and sweet). Just put the snacks - and the drinks - where people have to stand up to get at them; it keeps the guests circulating and chatting. Have several seating areas available, but remember that the more time people spend standing, the better the party will flow. Circulate a lot yourself to make sure everyone is having a good time.
 
 
HCE
15:09 / 07.03.05
"booze, food, music, and drugs"

I'd put food ahead of music, but my parties are basically like Sekhmet's. Cooking is usually what gets me interested in having a party in the first place. I try to also have something visual and something tactile. The more stuff there is to do, the more there is for people who don't know each other to talk about. Crowd favorites at my parties are usually the tag wall (big sheets of cardboard and cans of spray paint -- people who've done it before like to show off and people who haven't are curious to try it out) and the fireworks.

Oh, and lapdances!
 
 
Papess
16:31 / 07.03.05
I want to go to one of your parties Dwight.

I don't go to parties often because my job is like a party. (It is not as fun as it sounds.) I am usually very quiet and sip wine in a strategic spot. But I love to talk and will play any games and I do laugh loudly and heartily when appropriate. I always help the host and bring a gift as well,(wine, flowers, chocolates, a large bag of condoms....).
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
16:38 / 07.03.05
I can just about handle a party as long as
a)I'm not required to do anything at all,
b)I'm not tired,
c)Personal transporters have been invented.

Due to the continuing lack of 'c', so that I could get home very fucking quickly I tend to avoid parties. I think it's a mix of agoraphobia (in the 'fear of crowds' sense) plus the extreme egoism of believing that everyone is looking at me and judging me, even when they're patently not. Even smaller social settings make me very uneasy, like large family gatherings (of which I have one this summer, yay!)
 
 
doozy floop
17:00 / 07.03.05
I second your three party prerequisites, Our Lady. I think I'm allergic to the idea of parties, but lord wotton likes to be a social butterfly so I get cajoled into it and require huge amounts of alcohol to survive.

The idea of food being an essential part is an alien one... bit too close to dinner parties for me, and as I don't know anyone with a dining table / chairs that aren't sofas or inflatable in some way / more than 2 clean plates at any given time, I think dinner parties are a bit beyond us. Lots of crisps are essential, but we have a late night kebab shop a few doors down which tends to serve the munchies of the wee small hours well enough.

A good party always involves a massive fight, maybe some broken furniture, and usually a large number of people passed out in the living room the next day. Ah, the happy student memories of that smashed up shopping trolley and the subsequent impromptu bonfire.....
 
 
Sekhmet
17:41 / 07.03.05
I should probably add that since my entire crew is now 30 or thereabouts, we don't party as rowdily as in former times. Fights, arrests, broken furniture, people jumping fully clothed into swimming pools, and suchlike are more or less a thing of the past.

If you really need to liven up a party, you could try a game my friends call "fireball". It involves a tennis ball, baking mittens, and lighter fluid. Don't let them play it inside the house.
 
 
Jub
18:12 / 07.03.05
The best parties I've been to are always the one's where the hosts do their best to make you feel welcome. I've been to squat parties where there were skag addicts shooting up, and people talking about guns n stuff; on the other end of the scale, I've also been to swanky parties where everyone's talking about stock-options and caviar and what not - but in both cases, sometimes I've been made to feel very welcome when at first I felt a little awkward (for different reasons), by the host (or a close friend) who's seen I'm not 100% comfortable.

This for me makes parties good - when the people giving them cares about all the guests and whether they're all having a good time. This can be anything from a simple "hi can I get you a drink" to "hey, come and chat to X, I think you'd get on".
 
 
slinkyvagabond
19:56 / 07.03.05
Hmm, at the best parties I've been to the host doesn't KNOW all the guests. But yeah sure, no matter how lavish and original a party it's not going to be any fun if your don't find someone friendly to buzz off.

I think my top giudelines for a good party are something along these lines:
(1) Not at your house. Then you don't have to worry.
(2) Don't be the host. Ditto.

Of course, I am talking about parties with over 20 people present. If it's under that number then at your own house should be fine. I am a bit confused about what people consider a party though. I personally think that 10 people and under is not a party but a gathering or soiree, or as I most commonly put it 'having people round'. This situation most likely won't involve decks and people the host doesn't know (unless a new partner is being thrown to the lions) and the chance of food or at least nibbles being present is far greater. Perhaps I'm imposing far too strict definitional (Word? No?) perameters upon the concept. Any thoughts on party versus small gathering?
 
 
Brigade du jour
20:21 / 07.03.05
This for me makes parties good - when the people giving them cares about all the guests and whether they're all having a good time. This can be anything from a simple "hi can I get you a drink" to "hey, come and chat to X, I think you'd get on".

That's exactly how I like parties to go when I'm the one throwing them. I only really do it on my birthday as once a year is good enough for me, and a hugely memorable fantastic party every few years is even more agreeable.

Loads of people round my house (when I'm living somewhere sufficiently spacious) chatting, drinking, whatever, just enjoying themselves. And each other. That's what I call a party.
 
 
lord henry strikes back
20:31 / 07.03.05
Slinky, I fully agree with your 'gathering' format. We regularly have some 5 to 8 people round (mostly guys shooting the hell out of one another on the Xbox, a few girlfriends wondering why guy find it so fun to shoot the hell out of one another) and that's a gathering. It has to be over 10 to justify the term Party.

Doozy does us (and more importantly herself) down. Last year we threw a joint birthday party (our birthdays are only 11 days apart). We hired a section of a local drinking establishment and invited a sizeable portion of the people we know. Over the course of the night some 50 people turned up, from 4 or 5 distinct social groups. For the first half doozy hung back and I played the host. Once I hit a certain critical alcohol limit, I started bouncing around talking to anyone who couldn't get away and a somewhat more sober doozy took over hosting duties. To this day we have not had a negative review.

In terms of rules I would say this:

(1) Slinky is right,, don't hold it at you place.
(2) It doesn't matter whether or not the guests know each other at the begining of the night. You know them, and it shouldn't be too hard to get together a group that will gel pretty well.
 
 
unheimlich manoeuvre
22:30 / 07.03.05
"booze, food, music, and drugs"

I disagree. the most important thing is the people and food is definitely optional.
a- you want people you like, who are up for a party.
b- lots of stimulants pills and powder and alcohol for social lubrication.
c- good music, drum 'n bass, techno, breaks and reggae.
d- you are off.

The number of people is pretty irrelevant too. I had a great time last new years and it was only a house party of about twelve. A few of us were still up gurning, talking shit and laughing so hard we missed the sunrise.



ketamine for later and weed for wind down in the early hours.
 
 
HCE
23:16 / 07.03.05
",(wine, flowers, chocolates, a large bag of condoms....). "

I want you to come to one of my parties, Strix. I'd almost forgotten about flowers!

Interesting that partygoers fall into pro- and anti-food camps. I"m sure there's a quiz that relates to this. "What type of festivity are you?"

I suppose food is a way of giving people pleasure, so I like to set up that whole atmosphere of plenty, a feast. Come to the party and you don't have to do anything but enjoy yourself and try all kinds of delicious things, smell the flowers, listen to the music, talk to people, paint a bit, watch the fireworks, just kind of bask in it all.

I actually don't like my guests to get too loaded. A person who is stupefied doesn't connect emotionally to others, and speedy drugs tend to make people emit foul, acrid sweat. Not something I want getting on my cushions.

I suppose we could ask, do you like parties that are more like nightclubs, or do you like parties that are more like picnics? I think I liked nightclub parties when I was younger. Now I prefer picnic parties. Perhaps in time I will come to enjoy 'Big Chill' type parties that go on until somebody donates her husband to get somebody pregnant and somebody else runs off with his dead friend's girlfriend to live in a cabin.
 
 
XXII:X:II = XXX
05:25 / 08.03.05
When I party I definitely need to be within staggering distance of my train line. I don't want to bother with transferring at 5 am when I'm out of my gourd on whatever.

Food is definitely a plus. This can range depending on the type and size of the affair, anything from fruit and chocolates to outright catering. I'd prefer not to see it in a toilet later on, particularly if it comes out of the same hole it went in (which it almost never does), but it's good for diluting the liquor and whatever else for longterm partying viability.

Last party thing I attended was at a friend's apartment, who fortunately let me crash on his sofa when I developed a case of the spins, the mark of a good host in the right circumstances. This was a smaller shindig by his standards; certainly that would not have worked well at a party like New Years or his birthday, when folks are spilling out of the place.

Funny how the activities of eminently intoxicated people becomes more endearing when you yourself are also intoxicated. When sober I despise loudly obnoxious drunkards; when drunk myself, even if I myself am not loudly obnoxious, appreciate that such people are around, for the sake of the atmosphere. The air of adventurous idiocy that suggests that any moment the party could change from upbeat to tragic that hopefully never crosses into that zone always makes for more memorable affairs.

Food, check. Booze, check. Music: I have to resist my tendencies towards the more novel thereof and go with more communally-favored genres, though occasionally I can whip out something no one's heard of and get everyone's heads nodding. Los droges: Yas o yas. Herb, no doubt. I don't tend to do anything stronger, but I don't begrudge those who can contain themselves to a snort now and then. E, I'd think, would only be good if you have someone to cuddle or room to dance.

Postscript: Agua. L'eau. H2O. Water. People may not ask for it, but they'll be happy it's there, if only to head off hangovers and cure cottonmouth. Have plenty on hand, and more socked away. Your mixers are not necessarily the same thing. Water. So simple.

/+,
 
 
Papess
07:48 / 08.03.05
I want you to come to one of my parties, Strix. I'd almost forgotten about flowers!

Flowers really brighten up a room! I was just at a surprise birthday party last Saturday where I brought the hostess flowers. She was so incredibly grateful and gracious when she accepted them. She was very busy preparing for her boyfriend's arrival so, I trimmed them and put them in water for her. Even her boyfriend liked them, (and the Glenfiddich he got for a present!).

I actually don't like my guests to get too loaded. A person who is stupefied doesn't connect emotionally to others...

Not to mention obnoxious. Although, I shamefully admit, I have been too loaded by the end of the night at a party. Then again, I think most of us were by that point.

and speedy drugs tend to make people emit foul, acrid sweat. Not something I want getting on my cushions.

Sooo...no sweating at Nightclub Dwight's parties...got it. If I dance my ass off at one of your parties, I will make sure to bring a towel and some anti-perspirant! (Maybe some Febreeze for the cushions, too!)
 
 
Tryphena Absent
08:39 / 08.03.05
The best parties are always the ones where you step outside and realise that it's light again. If that hasn't happened then it wasn't a party, it was a gathering because you haven't expended enough energy for it to be a party and there wasn't enough fun to make you stay all night.

I like parties with about 50 people in attendance where I know everyone and can talk to each person for about 15 minutes each over the course of the night. I also like tiny parties with only 6 people who hardly know each other at all (the kind that happen only after a night out).

A party with between 10 and 20 guests almost always sucks and is more a polite but not intimate get together.

I'm quite particular.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
11:03 / 08.03.05
The only party worth attending is one in which a black panther in a bejewelled collar roams freely amongst the minglers.
 
 
HCE
16:22 / 08.03.05
THOSE WITH SWEAT GLANDS NEED NOT APPLY.

(Alternatively, I could build a giant bubble bath in the yard, like in the Peter Sellers film!)
 
 
Papess
20:17 / 08.03.05
Oh yes! A bubble bath party! I love it!
 
 
Brigade du jour
20:31 / 08.03.05
Ooh I second that! Or do I third it ... ?
 
 
Jake, Colossus of Clout
00:48 / 09.03.05
I actually prefer being the host to being an average partygoer. I like to supply booze and food and I find it much easier to meet people when I greet everybody. Booze is the number-one most important thing for a party. Stimulants are good, and somebody always has some ganja, although I don't usually smoke at parties, because it makes me antisocial. I just want to play videogames when I smoke ganja. Beer is better than liquor, because people don't get quite so monumentally fucked-up quite so quickly.

As for venue, I like throwing parties in the summer, so you can have a fire outside and people sitting around the living room at the same time- it gives your party more than one focal point, and people can smash shit and play with fire outside, keeping your treasured possessions safe. I still lock up my baseball memorabilia, regardless. I'm not a moron.
 
 
slinkyvagabond
19:42 / 11.03.05
My most recent party was a relatively small one, which'll probably put the horrors up Anna as it comprised about 10 -20 people (the number fluctuated during the course of the night). Everyone bar about 2 people were tripping on mushrooms which is something I've never done at a party before (but have at a small gathering). I guess if there hadn't been decks and it hadn't gone on all night I would have considered it a gathering myself. Good god, the delinations just become more complicated all the time...

I like intoxicating substances at a party. I've been to parties where I don't drink and I've been to parties where I don't take drugs of any kind. But the last time I was at a party where I did neither, I was probably about 12. I must confess that if neither alcohol nor some type of drug were present at a party I would not consider it to be a party but some awful Christian Union meeting and/or an antenatal class. Even dinner parties have wine.

Oh but I'm not devisive on the food issue. Some parties have food and that's great - especially at 'event' parties: a 21st, a wedding and so on, so forth. In fact, these would be awful if there were no food present. But at other kinds of parties (e.g. warehouse parties, parties where 90% of the guests won't remember what 'food' is for another 20 hours) food is inappropriate and potentially confusing.
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
21:34 / 11.03.05
There are lots of different kinds of parties, as has been made clear. Mine usually tend to be two-stage, two-day kind of deals... First stage is the intense, short stage, involving the short-term drugs, the small-timescale attendees - usually the loudest and busiest stage. Around five in the morning, we've scaled down to the hardcore and some late attendees, all of whom are into the more lifestyle oriented shit - recurrent coke or ecstacy users and those for whom speed is still a fun longterm diversion (ie, kids, losers, psychos and - most importantly, idiots with no longterm memories). Around then, the movies start coming out - usually old John Hughes movies, bad horror, that kins of thing. We always talk all over them. At around eight-ten in the morning, people start going out for more fag/booze. Sometimes, we've run out of speed, so more is necessary. Last Easter for Ma'at's birthday, we had a four day bender involving buttloads of speed, a good few pills, plenty of Monty Python just when we needed it most, the pub, Shaun Of The Dead (for me) and a bit of nice dancing to eighties/nineties alternative music. Across the whole weekend, that worked rather nicely. Music and food is optional and, in some cases, barely noticeable when you're that trawlered...
 
 
Alex's Grandma
22:04 / 11.03.05
I sense some ambivalence on your part, J the B, which I can totally understand, but on the other hand, could you honestly look in the mirror the next day and say 'damn, that was a party !' if it had finished at say, 4 ?

I'd feel like none of my friends really loved me anymore if some of them, at least, weren't around for Sunday opening time, and what's more, in these days of Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson and so on, I'd feel like a bad host...
 
 
Olulabelle
22:59 / 11.03.05
J the B, your parties sound spectacular.

I think a proper reason for a party makes a really good party (party is seeming like a really odd word now) because everyone comes with the idea of celebrating already in their head. Parties with invitations. And I also think a party that has been planned long in advance and that everyone has talked about is also almost always excellent. (Although I've never managed to get to one, Jack TB's Halloween parties spring to mind here, they always seems to be talked about for ages beforehand then picked over for a long time afterwards.)

Parties as reward are also brilliant; last summer the beautiful man and I worked at a private festival, we dug the outdoor loos, became the loo roll fairies and we did the washing up for 200 people several times. There were courses and workshops and the deal was you stayed straight for the weekend whilst you did these things; no alcohol or drugs of any kind and we all ate vegan food. It was so strict that people smuggled in chocolate and offered it to us with the line, "Green and Black? Better than smack..."

But on the last night, when all the work was done and all our study was finished we had a huge outdoor party round a fire which had been lit for the whole time, a big sound system was set up, everybody went crazy mad and danced all night until daybreak. And then ate bacon cooked on the fire. I've never seen a festival wind up instead of down before. It was amazing.

I also like Nina's suggestion of weeny little impromptu parties, when you all go back to someones house almost accidentally, drink everything in the cupboard, don't go to bed at all and feel awful for about 2 days afterwards.

I like games parties too, playing Pictionary and Articulate in particular. But I don't know many other people who do so the less said about that the better I think.
 
 
Mr Tricks
23:34 / 11.03.05
Ahhhhh I love a good party. Been to sooo many. Hell I made a living throwing them for a while. I'd say I've run the gamut from the less-than-10 people get together to the thumpa Thumpa 500 plus all nighter!!! I'm actually off to a Bonfire-on-the-beach this evening which should be fun as it's a party I can bring my dogs to (very rare) though they've kept smokers company in more than one back yard.

Now that my substance intake has veared from the white powders I'd say I tend to participate in the Thumpathumpa type of parties less. Burningman aside.

People are definately a major factor in a party's alchemy. I prefer a mixure of them as follows:
  • people I'm close to (able to continue a conversation or check in with a current event)
  • people I know (partied with them before can share the odd story or joke)
  • People I've met (may or may not remember their name)
  • People I'm meeting for the first time.


The good host with supply a fair range of consumables: Food, Booze, Pot, however they should not be expected to supply it all.

A good guest should indeed bring a little something to add to the party. Flowers is great and often Unique. My girlfriend brings balloons; as that's what she does for a living, she does it 'cause it's easy and people who know her sort of hope she will. Meanwhile people who are meeting her get a quick example to the classic question "what do you do?" I'll bring booze or smokeables; Salvia Divinorum has made for a great great great end of the party exploration.

Hmmm time's short so I'll cut it here for now. Gotta go party.
 
  
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