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I thought of a great vampire vs human gladiator fight

  
 
Jack Denfeld
09:31 / 15.02.05
ok, i was thinking. human with a stake. vampire with his supernatural powers (no mind persuasion though). It's daytime, and the vampire is in the shade, underneath a 20x20 foot covering made of stone. In 4 hrs it's night time and the vampire has all the arena to work. maybe the covering should be 10 by 10 feet instead.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
09:36 / 15.02.05
You know what would happen, don't you, Jack? They would fall in love and fight their way to freedom, together.
 
 
Spaniel
09:47 / 15.02.05
Perhaps the vampire would sire the human, and then they would make dark, dark love.

In the dark.
 
 
Jack Denfeld
10:03 / 15.02.05
You guys are romantics.
 
 
charrellz
11:24 / 15.02.05
Van Helsing would kill them both. Or Hugh Jackman, take your pick.
 
 
Spaniel
11:30 / 15.02.05
Yeah, because he's not into the dark, but all it would take is one little bite and suck and Helsing would desire the dark sexing.
 
 
A
11:55 / 16.02.05
The 20 x 20 foot covering made of stone would be loosened from its resting place by the combatants mighty blows and fall on them and kill them. Same thing happened to my uncle.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
12:41 / 16.02.05
He apparently has a huge jackman.
 
 
Ender
13:11 / 16.02.05
If any human could stand up to a vampire for four hours I would be shocked. Unless we are talking about a wimpy vampire, this vampire is not a wimp is it?

Or maybe if the human was an extreme vampire hunter, with years of experience, is he a famous vampire hunter?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
15:12 / 16.02.05
Yeah, but how do you know the vampire's not got mind persuasion? I mean, you ask him "Dude, you haven't got mind persuasion, now have you?" and he goes "Who me? No! [MIND PERSUADE] I don't have any mind persuasion. [/MIND PERSUADE]" Next thing you know, the human gladiator has got the idea from somewhere that vampires die of celeriac, or string, or lemon-fresh washing-up liquid with super-soft bubbles, and is fighting accordingly.
 
 
MJ-12
16:09 / 16.02.05
Vampires don't die from lemon-fresh washing-up liquid with super-soft bubbles? I may need to change my plans for Friday night.
 
 
Jack Denfeld
17:03 / 16.02.05
Hugh Jackdenfeldman.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
12:29 / 09.04.05
I just thought of a great way to improve this.

The human is given chains to fight with. Weapon chains. But not just any weapon chains, oh no. These chains have been cooled to below freezing and then either a) sprayed with Holy Water from a plant mister or b) dipped in a big vat of Holy Water (like how you make candles). They are kept at freezing whilst being jiggled around to maintain flexibility.

In this way the chains are coated with a layer of icy-cold Holiness.
 
 
Triplets
14:34 / 09.04.05
Yeah, but wouldn't that just negate the face that Holy Ice-water burns?

Tangent: A priest should have totally blessed Hydro-man and sent him off to kick ass with Blade.

BLOOD AND WATER: LIMITED MAXI-SERIES! WRITTEN BY LIEFIELD, ILLUSTRATED BY LOEB! SPECIAL ADAMANTIUM COVER AVAILABLE, BUB!
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
16:10 / 09.04.05
No, I don't think the icyness would cancel out the burnyness at all. If you froze chains in acid and hit someone with them, the frozen acid would still burn.
 
 
bio k9
16:23 / 09.04.05
Wow.

Mordant has stolen my brain.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
19:05 / 09.04.05
I didn't steal your brain! YOU infected MY brain with chainfights. This is all totally your fault.
 
 
bio k9
22:16 / 09.04.05
I think Q, Fluxy, Todd and I debated the merits of ice chains (though, if it was in my journal, it was deleted in one of my many moments of "does anyone really give a flying fuck"ism). Anyway, I was curious if frozen chains would hurt more than room temperature chains or if the iced up chains would act as some sort of primative ice pack, relieving the pain even as they caused it. I think Q had the answer but I don't remember what it was because I don't listen when other people talk.

Anyway, Vampires and Holy Water weren't part of the conversation because that shit ain't real. And we keep it real.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
22:22 / 09.04.05
Yeah, that sounds familiar. Wasn't it barbecued chains versus really fucking cold chains? My memory is fuzzy on this, as on so many things.
 
 
bio k9
22:27 / 09.04.05
Oh, wow. Probably.
 
 
bio k9
22:30 / 09.04.05
When I was 10 I told my sister there was a ghost called "The Ghost of New York". It was in Poughkeepsie (because where else would The Ghost of New York live?) and it liked to eat barbecued heads. Like the ones under the lid of our uncles BBQ. And it would follow us home and eat our mother if she told anyone.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
20:13 / 10.04.05
That's messed up. How old was your sister?
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
21:09 / 10.04.05
She was about 38, wasn't she, Bio?
 
 
bio k9
19:37 / 11.04.05
5 at the time.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
19:40 / 11.04.05
An early developer then.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
19:57 / 11.04.05
Damn! Three whole five-year-old siblings and I never thought of barbecued heads.

For of all sad words of tongue or pen...
 
  
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