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Not quite. I would have respected her more if she'd...y'know...asked to come in. But she was rather more forceful than that.
Well... you were doing a ritual to call on her, at her festival, on her day, y'know... If that isnt an huge invitation for Her to come through and generally behave in the way that entities do, then I don't know what is... I'd imagine she might have been a bit puzzled why someone was calling on her in a big way, but actually didnt want her at all when she manifested!
Oh I'm willing to trust their mysteries, I'm not willing to let deities push their way in and push me around without asking first.
If you do a big ritual for an entity on their feast day, then you're basically saying to them "please come to us so we can share in your mysteries". I'd say that anything that then happens within the space of that ritual is very much the result of your previous actions. You have very directly asked for and invited this phenomena simply by being there and calling to her on her day. If you didnt want Brigid coming to you with messages from beyond and telling you what she wants done, then why were you there in the first place? It's not like she jumped into your head unexpectedly when you were cooking chips on a sunday night... You were doing ritual magic with the expressed purpose of calling on her!
I'd say it's a pretty good result you've got there, to actually have Her coming on strong and telling you stuff. Everything from voices in the head, to paranormal activity, to full possession is a big sign that you're doing something right. Even if an entity comes on aggressively, the very fact that they are speaking to you at all is sign enough that they've taken an interest. The skill of entity work is in then negotiating that relationship, including any problematic aspects, in order to find something that works for you both. This does not happen by laying down the law on first contact - any more than it would with another human being - you have to court them, chat them up, get them on your side. They don't owe you anything. By doing a ritual to honour them, you are basically knocking on their door. How you behave when they answer will determine how the relationship develops. I daresay that from Brigid's perspective, you may have done the magical equivalent of ringing someone's doorbell, telling them to fuck off and then running away.
I don't mind being led or taught, its being pushed and commanded that I can't stand.
You pretty much have two options then, either stop calling on God/desses fullstop and stick to smaller spirits, or else learn not to be a shrinking violet and negotiate with them. They will come on strong and forceful from time to time, particularly if something is bothering them or if they've singled you out as a likely person to help them do something. Knowing how to deal with that, and how to maintain your ground politely and respectfully within the ongoing dialogue that's taking place is what it's all about. If you don't want that, or are not prepared to take on the hassle of trying to keep things sweet with demanding entities, then don't go calling on them.
If anyone has any suggestions on how would go about making amends, or at least opening a dialogue, I'm open to suggestions. I know very little about the Celtic deities and how to contact them.
I find that most entities, from tradition to tradition, tend to respond to broadly similar things. It's about bigging them up, showing your respect, and honouring them. Build a temporary altar to them, decorate it with things associated with them, do a bit of research/use your intuition and find out what sort of offerings they like in terms of food and drink, light candles to them in their colours, celebrate them, treat it like a little party for them. If you're a musician, play them some music. If you're an artist, draw them a picture. If you're a writer, write a little poem about them and read them it. This can all be done within the context of the ritual itself. Once things are heated up and they are present, listen to what they have to say, be respectful throughout, don't agree to anything you're not prepared to follow through on, don't ask for anything you're not prepared to pay for. Have a chat, shoot the breeze, raise a glass to them. If you want to build a relationship with them, which is largely the point of entity work and certainly the most rewarding approach, then repeat this process of talking to them and celebrating them regularly until it takes on a life of it's own. Let it come alive, and respond to it naturally and honestly, like you're cultivating a freindship with another living being, which you are. |
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