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Funeral etiquette

23:14 / 24.01.05

My boss' mother died over the weekend. I'm going to the funeral tomorrow (I work with him on all of his projects, which accounts for about 50% of my job, so, like it or not, we spend a lot of time together, and I should therefore attend). I plan to keep my big trap shut, given a history of making horribly off-colour jokes when people die, and since I'd rather not be fired for being an insensitive moron. For example, when told this morning about the death, I replied with, "So he won't be in today." I know, it's not funny, but it was inappropriate. Unfortunately, it was all I could think to say. I thought that my cousin was trying to start a tickle fight with me at my grandfather's funeral, and was fully prepared to attack. When a friend recently had a death in the family, I nearly gave myself an ulcer trying to figure out what I would say to her, because everything I came up with sounded like it would be edited out of a Simpsons episode for being too tasteless.
I have a very morbid sense of humour. There are reasons for this, but I can't be bothered to go into them.
So, I'm pressing my gray suit and preparing to play mute.
Anybody else turn into a complete jackass around the dead?

00:10 / 25.01.05

yep normally i spend so long trying not to laugh because i know it would be exactlly the worse thing to do, kinda like an emotional tourettes, that when somthing does strike me as funny i laugh rib-case breakingly hard.

for example, at my nans funeral, who was blind and had hayfever, the ceramony had finished and we left the crematiom to where all her flowers ands wreaths were being displayed, upon sight of them my mom said "look at all the flowers, your nan would have loved them" which struck me as the funniest thing ever and i said "bah hahah hahah haha hahahah"

my advice- there will be at least one other person there with the same mindset/sense of humour, look around i garuntee it. the trick is find them and talk only to them untill the wake and if a giggle does accidentally escape turn it into a sob and say "this reminds me of [insert fictional tragi-dead relative here}"

Lilly Nowhere Late

07:15 / 25.01.05

It is normal and natural to resort to humour in most uncomfortable situations. This is to do with humans being the "laughing" animals. You can't control yourself.
At my own husband's funeral, after all the ceremonial bits, the priest presiding came to me to take my hand. When I tried to raise my hand to meet his, my bracelet was caught on my skirt and stayed firmly in my lap. I tried to lift my hand about three times before I broke out in laughter. The whole scene was pretty worthy of Marx brothers style pranks. Everyone thought I was over the edge and just felt uncomfortable. I thought it was hilarious and typical that such a clumsy awkward thing happened to me at this momment, just like real life.

Just picture everyone naked, and you'll sail through.

07:22 / 25.01.05

If you do picture everyone naked, it might be an idea not to look in the coffin.
Sorry.

08:54 / 25.01.05

I have no funeral eiquette, always have to sit at the back, as I always find something to laugh about - I was crying with trying not to laugh out loud at a friends dads funeral - but its tricky, people like to grieve in different ways, and thats how I choose to do it, but you have to respect that others wont see it that way, so probably best not to smoke a cigar, put your feet up and laugh out loud a la Max Cady.