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Cell phones on planes, cell phones in general

  
 
diz
18:41 / 11.01.05
i read something that irritated the living shit out of me today: Jim Hightower's little column at AlterNet ranting against the FCC's moves towards allowing in-flight use of cell phones. you can read it here.

this ran up against one of my biggest pet peeves. i loathe people who rant about how horrible cell phones are. this is the response i sent to AlterNet:

"I think it would be hard for anyone to write something as deeply irritating as Jim Hightower's Luddite rant against cell phones in airplanes. I think that the thing that sent me over the edge was his pathetic attempt to characterize this as some sort of evil Bush administration plot.

I'm both a die-hard Bush opponent and a frequent flier, and I deeply resent the frustrating, anachronistic, and arbitrary rules prohibiting the use of cell phones on flights, and I know I'm not the only one. Most people I know find the rule irritating and unnecessarily restrictive, and often a serious impediment to everyday life. A lot of my air travel lately has been done on short notice in reaction to family illnesses, and it sure would be nice not to have to be incommunicado for 6-8 hours while Grandpa is being rushed to the hospital.

That's just one example, but I'm sure it doesn't matter to Jim Hightower. It's just more moaning from the Great Unwashed, right? The nerve of us, violating His Lordship's pristine aerial sanctuary with our self-important babbling. I suppose that conversations trying to coordinate such things as, oh, I don't know, a ride home from the airport or dinner plans afterwards would be even more offensive to his sensitive ears, so I won't mention them further, lest I risk incurring His Lordship's air rage.

It's worth noting that one of the reasons progressives and liberals face such an uphill struggle in the battle for the hearts and minds of ordinary Americans is the general perception of people on our side being snooty elitists, or anti-progress, or busybodies who favor cumbersome and intrusive regulation by faceless government agencies, and Hightower really scores the hat trick here. Way to go, Jim.

I suppose, though, that all this is really just dancing around the elephant in the room here, and that elephant is the fact that His Lordship doesn't like cell phones. They intrude on his pastoral silence and offend him by exposing him to the tawdry details of the crude lives of the common folk.

All I can really say to him on that score is: Welcome to the 21st century, dickhead. Cell phones have changed the way we interact, and I suppose some neophobes find that sort of change hard to deal with, despite the fact that the positives far outweigh the negatives. Cell phones are the great democratizer of communications technology, and are revolutionizing everyday life for the better for millions, if not billions, of people. I would suggest that Lord Hightower (wow, what an appropriate last name he has!) read Howard Rheingold's _Smart Mobs_ for a quick primer on the subject.

If he can stop turning up his nose long enough to actually read something, mind you."

what do you all think?
 
 
Axolotl
18:48 / 11.01.05
I have to say it doesn't bother me either way. While I am sure it would be irritating to end up stuck next to some terrible middle-manager using his telephone to show how important he is for a whole flight, if there is no actual safety reason for stopping people making calls then why not let them? Then the airlines can make the decision based on customer preferences.
Plus hopefully then they'll stop making me turn my walkman off during take off.
 
 
Smoothly
19:03 / 11.01.05
Although I suspect we might be in the minority, I'll come out and say I'm petty much with you on this, diz.
I think what people who dislike the use of cell phones (or 'mobile phones' as we call them in Englande) in public places is that they can't hear the other end of the conversation. It's a common complaint about trains here, and ranting about it is a pretty familiar standard. People don't seem to react as badly to people talking to someone sitting next to them (which is, let's face it, twice as much actual *noise*), and I can only assume that this is because they derive some kind of nosey pleasure from earwigging on a conversation.
However, that said, people do tend to talk a lot louder on the phone, don't you find? I don't mind someone talking about their quarterly sales figures as much as I do them SHOUTING ABOUT IT.
 
 
w1rebaby
19:44 / 11.01.05
What I dislike about the use of mobiles on planes, or indeed public transport in general, is that people are intrusive dicks with them in a way that is not so easy in other ways.

On buses and trains phones are not so much worse than the usual situation, where people come on with friends and have loud inane conversations. I have a particular loathing for push-to-talk phones where you not only get two halves of an inane conversation but a loud "BEEP!" between them - that's worse I think - but in general it's not a problem.

People are more likely to fly alone or in small groups on a plane and less likely to spend the whole time gassing. The journeys are longer - there's a lot more time to be annoyed. They have more business travellers, which leads to more arseholes who think they are so fucking indispensable that they can't be off the blower for ten minutes. You are stuck in one spot, you can't escape, and if someone nearby is on the phone they will be talking right next to your earhole.

The most recent time I can remember being really, really fucked off with a mobile user was on the plane coming back to England in November; one particular self-important twenty-something tit carried on the same meejah-dahling conversation from boarding queue (when I was standing right behind him) to plane (when I was sitting right behind him) until they told him to turn it off. I have no doubt that if he'd been allowed to continue he would have, and I would have killed him. Is this a good outcome?

I've got nothing against phones, and I would quite like to be able to text from planes (no problems with that, texting is great) and the current regulations aren't really based on scientific necessity, but the evidence so far suggests that people are irritating fucks and seemingly unable to conduct themselves with any sort of common courtesy, and an aeroplane is an environment where common courtesy really becomes essential.
 
 
w1rebaby
19:49 / 11.01.05
Smoothly:

I think what people who dislike the use of cell phones (or 'mobile phones' as we call them in Englande) in public places is that they can't hear the other end of the conversation.

Seriously, you've not heard a "push-to-talk" conversation. They don't seem to do them in the UK which is a really really really good thing.

I actually quite like the more bizarre overheard ones you get on the night bus where you're trying to imagine what's happening on the other end, but then I'm not trapped in a metal box for six hours with those people.
 
 
Grey Area
20:22 / 11.01.05
Push-to-talk? Is this something akin to turning your mobile phone into a glorified walkie-talkie?

I don't think people will be talking much on flights, even if the phones are allowed. The main reason for this is that the calls will have to be routed through a network run by the airlines or a company similar to Iridium, which means the costs of making calls will far exceed that what ordinary customers are willing to pay. From what I read, the cost won't be as high as that of using those seat-back telephones you already find on aircraft, but it'll be close.

A friend of mine is not looking forward to the introduction of this service though, as he works in one of those industries where you're effectively on call 24-7. The time spent in the air is the only time he can be sure to relax in the knowledge that he won't get a call...and I'm sure there's other business people who feel the same way. The work culture in a lot of industries seems to be moving towards people having to be in a position where the company can contact them at any point. Some would argue this is a negative side-effect of modern communication tools.
 
 
sleazenation
20:23 / 11.01.05
As some have already noted, a bus ride to the shops is a very different proposition to an international flight... - And at the moment on trains going significant distances there is usually at least one coach that is reserved for those not wishing to be bothered by the telephone conversations of loud, obnoxious twats. Not sure how this could be replicated on planes but the precident is already there...
 
 
w1rebaby
20:42 / 11.01.05
Push-to-talk? Is this something akin to turning your mobile phone into a glorified walkie-talkie?

Yes, basically. I think it's free for in-network calls or something. It seems only to be used by people who speak VERY LOUDLY and the voice on the other end comes through VERY LOUDLY as well.

The point about those business people who aren't self-important arseholes but who are professionally connected with arseholes is well-made too. Nobody ever tried to contact me during conferences, I would have ignored them, but I know that it's not an uncommon situation.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
14:45 / 13.01.05
Other people are a mistake Q Crisp

Hell is other people JP Sartre

The biggest problem with fellow passengers gabbling inanely in your ear, whether on a mobile phone or not, is that the majority of us are squeezed into a too-tight space already on flights and everything your neighbour does happens effectively inside the perimeters of your personal space. I don't think conversation should be allowed on planes, let alone mobile phone calls.
 
 
Benny the Ball
14:59 / 13.01.05
I agree completely. I hate when someone has a friend come stand near them in their seat and chats about such and such moment in the film, or the person next to them in the flight. I talk to no-one on a plane, unless spoken to, and then make it clear that I don't want to converse for long as politely as possible. Imagine the horror, you're trying to sleep, just drifting off listening to Motzart, and some ring tone blares out, a conversation 'yeah, no, I'm on the plane, it's rubbish' again and again - or texting, endless beep beep, morse code SMS tones as someone texts for 12 hours next to you... Just imagine it, that's all I'm saying.
 
 
Smoothly
15:07 / 13.01.05
This, from today's Guardian, is quite interesting. Apparently York University has a whole team of researchers investigating why listening to one end of phone call is so much more distracting than a conversation:

Andrew Monk and his team of researchers from the University of York have found that people instinctively listen more attentively to conversations where they can only hear one side. This additional attention means you can't ignore the conversation, and the tension created by the need to hear the other side means it rapidly starts to rankle.

Also,
Other respondents to Humphreys' surveys said that the thing they disliked the most was the problem of too much information: arguments, break-ups and, forgive me, "intimate gynaecological information".

Weirdly, I'd much rather eavesdrop on this sort of thing than someone explaining that they 'are going to be late, where exactly is this pub, and so on'. But I never get surveyed.
 
 
Cat Chant
15:36 / 13.01.05
why listening to one end of phone call is so much more distracting than a conversation

Good. Because it really is, and I've been trying to work out why/how... it's nice to hear that it's not just me, though. (I dislike mobiles. Not just overhearing conversations, though I dislike that as well, but they have made making arrangements to meet up incredibly stressful and complicated. I remember the old days, when people could make an arrangement to be somewhere up to two days in advance, and actually be there. Or they could find out when the last train home was, and remember to get to the station on time. These days whenever I meet up with people coming from more than one place, I never get to talk to any of them because everyone spends the whole time on their mobile saying "Really? You're coming from Peckham? Well maybe we should move on to the Bricklayer's Arms, then. I'll ring Dick and tell him about it. Dick? Tom's coming from Peckham, so we're moving on to the Bricklayer's Arms. Oh - what? I thought you were on the Central Line? You're at Waterloo? Okay, well, we'll stay here then. Let me just let Dick know... Hang on, I'm getting a text from Harry..." continue ad infinitum)

Lala. Now I am filled with rage.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
16:15 / 13.01.05
The main reason for this is that the calls will have to be routed through a network run by the airlines or a company similar to Iridium, which means the costs of making calls will far exceed that what ordinary customers are willing to pay

Great so it'll only be wankers who have their phone bill paid by their American company who yabber on for six hours, while tapping at their laptops.

I hate MY mobile phone. I hate it when it beeps especially. I hate text messaging, frustrating unless you've 1)just started dating someone, 2)are cheating on someone. These criteria don't apply hence severe irritation. I hate phone calls from people who catch you on the bus and won't leave you alone and have really loud voices so if you hold the phone away from you ear you can't hear them because you're on the bus but if you hold the phone near to your ear it hurts.

The thing I hate most about mobile phones though is this conversation. Invariably it's a person in his or her 30s or 40s... "I'm on my way." "No really I'm ON MY WAY." "Yes I know that Jimmy went to his friend's house after school but I have to come over to pick up the thing." "No I'll be there in 15 minutes." "Yes I picked up some milk for you."
Why does anyone need to have this conversation? All you are doing is repeating things that the person on the other end already knows and is pretending not to. In the 1980's they wouldn't have tried to ring you because they already know you're coming over, so STOP humouring them to the detriment of my sanity!!!

The conversation that Deva hates, I also dislike but not as much because usually it means someone's got a new phone and is ridiculously excited. Also you never know if they might break out in to a song and dance number because people who have that conversation are usually dressed kitschily. Whereas the above conversation is only had by people who should abandon their family lives.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
20:04 / 15.01.05
Possibly this should be in headsick, rage, etc, BUT...

Given that I apparently have to have one of these stupid fucking things, why the fucking hell doesn't it fucking well do what I ask it to ? God knows, I haven't asked for very much.

I mean perhaps I'm being a bit stupid, but how many of the fucking cunts who designed the godless abortion that I've just thrown out the window ( and will probably, humiliatingly, have to try and find as well tomorrow, which will mean dealing with the neighbour, the Wicca person - last time round, it wasn't so good, ) have read War And Peace ? Or Ulysses ? Or the fucking Rabbit books as anything ? The shitheads.

Balls to any idea of cultural relativism - Anyone who's made it to the end of the fucking Beano is, by definition, a god compared to the fucking wankers who designed these wretched bloody machines.

I really don't think I'm going too far about this - Has anyone's life ever been materially improved by having the equivalent of the bastard Sooty Show as re-imagined, sorry, 'designed' by David fucking Cronnenberg ( sic, poss, too angry to look it up, ) clamped to their fucking ear ? I don't fucking well think so. The only possible justification for these so-called lifestyle enhancers is that they make going to the bastard pub a bit easier, but do they fuck do that - firstly, you would think no one ever managed to get it together to drown their miserable sorrows with their equally disgusted friends in some sort of sleazy gin joint before teh cells were invented, as if that hasn't been going on since the fucking caves, and secondly, all the fucking stupid things do is make what might have previously solid social arrangements, in more civilised times, liquid, to nobody's shitting benefit. And it also means that the fucking scum, let's face it, scum, that appear to be under the impression that just because they pay you to add a couple of hours onto your time in purgatory every time you show up ( I'm not prepared to discuss what so-called 'intelligent' people might have to contribute to society if they stopped complaining all the time either, fuck that, ) they can call you up at bastard 4AM, to tell you to go to bastard Tokyo, or wherever, to close the deal, or some such. Pluto, frankly wouldn't be far enough.

If I could go back in time, I would not only fuck up Prof Nokia, or any of the other human ordure who invented this shit, I would not only burn them at the stake, the wankers, but I'd laugh while I was doing it.

So not totally pro mobile phones. no.
 
 
wembley can change in 28 days
09:21 / 18.01.05
I really don't mind mobile phones. Given that they're my bread and butter at this particular time, I rather like them. Although it's very possible that I don't get as annoyed with folks around me blabbing on their handsets because they're usually blabbing in Finnish and I can tune that out very easily.

I'm sure the operators will be thrilled, having a captive audience who are going to rack up roaming fees. Secondly, I don't know if that applies to data calls as well, but at least you could surf on EDGE networks while on the plane - hopefully your company's paying. (You can do it either by using the phone as a modem for a laptop, or surfing on a more techy phone that has a browser.)

Besides, planes aren't a bastion of quiet and relaxation, anyway. They're an inherently stressful situation where you have no control over your environs, and there's usually some kid screaming at the back. At least if you had a phone you could talk to someone on the outside and perhaps alleviate your own tension.
 
 
Cat Chant
10:12 / 18.01.05
all the fucking stupid things do is make what might have previously solid social arrangements, in more civilised times, liquid, to nobody's shitting benefit.

Hear hear. Give that man a cigar.
 
 
Cat Chant
10:17 / 18.01.05
The conversation that Deva hates, I also dislike but not as much because usually it means someone's got a new phone and is ridiculously excited.

It's not the conversation itself, so much, it's that sometimes listening to it constitutes the entirety of the interaction I have with my friends. Seriously. I have friends from London who grew up in Yorkshire, and when they come up here we have a few brief hours to talk to each other - which are spent making arrangements on multiple mobiles about where everyone is and where to meet up. See, in the old days, if people were only going to see each other for half a day every couple of months, they would decide in advance where to meet up and stick to it so that they could actually talk to each other when they saw each other.

Headsick and rage now. Still, it's snowing outside! I'm going out to play in it!
 
 
w1rebaby
10:38 / 18.01.05
I must say that, while I used to get by planning things beforehand, there were many occasions when I was stuck not being able to find anyone, wandering around central London, wasting large sums in phone boxes and getting answering machines, when a simple call saying "I'm going to be late" would have solved the whole problem.

A certain liquefaction of social arrangements seems a small price to pay to avoid this. The people I know who are always late now were always late then, too, and I don't know anyone who constantly changes plans in the expectation that they can get you on your mobile and you won't mind, because, even if they *can* reach you, any reasonable person would realise that it will piss you off.

Still don't want them on planes.
 
 
Cat Chant
10:47 / 18.01.05
The people I know who are always late now were always late then, too,

But if you know they're going to be late, why do you need them to phone you and tell you? Can't you just stay in the cafe/pub having a cigarette/nice read of the paper and wait for them, in the knowledge that they're always late, even if they haven't rung? It might be just me, but I tend to find that people with mobiles vastly overestimate how important it is to have it confirmed that, when they haven't shown up at the meeting point, they are indeed late.

Different social economies, I guess: I think the liquefaction thing is too high a price to pay for the once-a-year when I think "Hmm, it would be handy to have a mobile".
 
 
Never or Now!
11:11 / 18.01.05
what do you all think?

I think you could've done without "dickhead", frankly.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
11:11 / 18.01.05
The one good thing about having a mobile phone is that, as long as I pay that one bill, it allows me to have no permanent address while appearing to live a totally stable lifestyle. Will network for food! My number never changes! It's great.

But, yeah, all that other stuff is fucking irritating. I think you're wrong, diz, I don't think it's an elitist thing. Just because the multitudes do something, doesn't mean it's not irritating--in fact, most of those people are just as annoyed by cell phones as Mssr. Hightower is. They don't realize how irritating they themselves are being, because you can't, in that situation. It uses a different part of your brain. So, you've got one person convenienced and the throng around him seething.

I think the issue of cell usage on planes is a tempest in a teapot--it's going to be so difficult to use them! They'll whicker in and out of range, won't they? "Yeah, I can totally see my house from here! What? WHAT? HONEY, YOU'RE BREAKING UP!" Does they even got signal up there? So, good, you hook up some special doohickey and it costs a fortune--good for them. Flying is a maddening experience anyway. I recommend drugs and/or a good book.
 
  
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