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The Contest

 
 
Bear
05:18 / 08.01.05
I'm curious but wasn't sure if I should post this! It might be more relevant to people who're single.

I was wondering what's the longest people have gone without "action".

For no reason really I've had no "completion" in about 3 days and can barely fuction as a normal human. I was trying to think back to the longest I've gone and I'm really not sure.

Do people walk around feeling like this all the time?

I'm starting to wonder what would happen if I lasted a few weeks.

Too much info perhaps.
 
 
Benny the Ball
07:39 / 08.01.05
Five years. Five horrible, hormone filled years, from 19-23.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
13:48 / 08.01.05
Six months. I was crawling up the walls by the end. I started fantasizing about going down on work colleagues in their cars.

And if that's not too much information, I don't know what is ...
 
 
Axolotl
14:02 / 08.01.05
I'm probably going to regret telling people this, but I am currently at 18 months and counting. I try not to think about it.
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
14:07 / 08.01.05
Bear, do you mean 'action' with another person, or... err... solo 'completion'?
 
 
Bear
14:18 / 08.01.05
Yeah either, no completion at all - nowt!
 
 
Cat Chant
14:26 / 08.01.05
Without having an orgasm... About eight years. (From 0-8. Hahahaha.)

Actually, I should (swiftly) add that I wasn't having sex with another person over that period, either. My childhood was molestation-free!

But assuming you're not counting that bit... I had sex twice between August 1999 and February 2003 which averages out at, what, once every fourteen months. I remember the climbing-the-walls phase that Whisky Priestess mentions, but it passes after a while and you enter a Stephen-Fry-like state of feeling faintly bemused that people seem to want to bump uglies (and the phrase 'bump uglies' starts seeming like the best phrase for it). Or that's what happened to me, anyway.

I have no idea what the longest I've ever gone without an orgasm is. About a week, when I've been sad or ill or otherwise low-libidinous?
 
 
Ganesh
15:05 / 08.01.05
Longest without a wank? About a week; maybe a fortnight tops.
 
 
Psi-L is working in hell
16:10 / 08.01.05
I've not had sex in well over a year now...and go through large phases of thinking that it's not a problem.

And then there are the phases like the one i'm going through at present where I start to wonder whether it would be okay to grab people sitting next to me on the bus and drag them home to 'bump uglies'.

I've also started to look at work colleagues in a whole new light Whiskey Priestess, be they attractive or not....not sure I'd last long in any job if I keep trying to stick my tongue down their throats in the cafeteria...
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
16:11 / 08.01.05
Entirely depends on your medication...

3 years, my record. I only actually cared for the last few months, mind, cos that was when I stopped taking the pills..

But then, I've always had a relatively low sex drive anyway.
 
 
modern maenad
16:23 / 08.01.05
Ditto medication. When I started on the pills I've been taking for last (hmmm) eight years (Venlefaxine Effoxor, known apparently as SideEffexor in the trade.....) I just could not orgasm, despite much desire and practice. One of the interesting things was that I would get almost to the point, then all the excitement fell away into a big nothing. Very odd. Lasted a couple of months I think....??
 
 
Seth
16:46 / 08.01.05
It might be more relevant to people who're single.

You'd be amazed.
 
 
Loomis
17:28 / 08.01.05
Bear, dude, you can't function three days without a wee ham shank? That seems a little extreme! Can't really think the longest I've been master of my domain, but it would def. be at least a couple of weeks, maybe more. These things go in phases ...
 
 
Bear
17:38 / 08.01.05
Well I can function it's just a new state of mind, I used to think that I never really got horny but now I'm thinking that that's because I never gave myself a chance.

Master of your domain, wasn't sure if the thread title was obvious.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
17:46 / 08.01.05
After the first few years, time stops meaning anything, as you stumble along in the dark, icy wastes of the modern day singles scene, no longer sure where you're going or why, but stoically clinging, like some rare beast of burden in a pointless desert, to the last few pitiful scraps of self-esteem you've got left in your hump, as the freezing night wind tears deeper, ever deeper, into your bones, basically.
 
 
Loomis
17:59 / 08.01.05
Well I can function it's just a new state of mind, I used to think that I never really got horny but now I'm thinking that that's because I never gave myself a chance.

Master of your domain, wasn't sure if the thread title was obvious.


It was obvious to me, but then I'm a huge Seinfeld fan. Best sitcom ever.

Hmm, I suppose it may have something to do with why you or anyone indulges in the sin of onan. Is it because you're horny and there's no one to fuck, or is it more of a self-indulgent, relaxing, treat-yourself to an orgasm kind of thing?

Not asking you personally. Just thinking out loud. I tend to be of the opinion that wanking isn't always related to sex or horniness.
 
 
Ender
19:01 / 08.01.05
I like the phrase, “treat yourself to an orgasm” it almost reminds me of some one on a diet that has been good all week stopping off at the baskin robbins for a bit of ice cream.

Does anyone have religious spawned reasons for celibacy?

I have bouts with myself about morals, and have taken, and retaken personal vows of abstinence. My stints of ‘righteousness’ may last as long as three days, or go up to several months.

To fuck, or not to fuck, that is always my personal conflict and question.

So, I may have a few days off, and then take some lithers’ fantasies a step further, and meet a co-worker in the parking lot and treat myself to an orgasm.
 
 
Papess
19:02 / 08.01.05
"...it may have something to do with why you or anyone indulges in the sin of onan. Is it because you're horny and there's no one to fuck, or is it more of a self-indulgent, relaxing, treat-yourself to an orgasm kind of thing?"

For me it is to relax and give myself a treat, without without imposing on anyone else. Just having control of my own fantasies with a glass of wine, favourite vibrator and maybe a remote control, is a definate treat.

As for how long I have gone without an actual orgasm, six months for certain. I took some vows to that effect. I think at first it put me in a slightly cantankerous mood. But eventually, I was fine and just focused on other things, mainly dreaming. It was excellent for lucid dreaming practices.

The longest I have ever gone without sex though, well over a year.
 
 
Papess
19:03 / 08.01.05
Does anyone have religious spawned reasons for celibacy?

Mine were, as I took lay nun's vows.
 
 
Bear
19:20 / 08.01.05
I'm pretty much ruled by boredom.
 
 
Loomis
19:42 / 08.01.05

well you tried it just for once found it all right for kicks.
but now you found out that it's a habit that sticks.
and you're an orgasm addict.
you're an orgasm addict.

sneaking in the back door with dirty magazines.
now your mother wants to know what all those stains on your jeans.
and you're an orgasm addict.
you're an orgasm addict.
uh huh, uh huh, uhhhhh, uhhhhh [x3]

you get in a heat, you get in a sulk.
but you still keep a beating your meat to pulp.
and you're an orgasm addict.
you're an orgasm addict.

you're a kid cassanova.
you're a no-josep it's a labour of love fucking yourself to death.
orgasm addict.
you're an orgasm addict.
uh huh, uhhhhh [x10]

you're makin' out with school kids, winos and heads of state.
you even made it with the lady, who puts the little plastic bobins on the christmas cakes.
butchers' assistants and bellhops, you've had them all here and there.
children of god and their joy-strings, international women with no body hair.

oooh, so where they're askin' in an alley and your voice ain't steady.
if your sex mechanic's rough you're more than ready.
you're an orgasm addict.
you're an orgasm addict.

johnny want fuckie always and all ways.
he's got the energy, he will remain.
he's an orgasm addict.
he's an orgasm addict.
he's always at it.
he's always at it.
and he's an orgasm addict.
he's an orgasm addict.
 
 
Sean the frumious Bandersnatch
21:32 / 08.01.05
I've been without a girlfriend for entirely too long. My mood shifts between not understanding why people have sex at all and falling in love with every person who makes eye contact with me.

In my current low sex drive state, I can go a week as "master of my domain" easy. I think the longest I've ever tried to go without was one month (I think I may have done it just to impress a girl), but I succumed to sin around eighteen days into it.

Crap. Am I a member of the Barbelith Lonely Hearts Club Band now?
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
07:23 / 09.01.05
Well, if Loomis can do it...

Something came over me
Something came over me
And I don't know what it was
No I don't know what it was

Oh was it white and sticky?
Was it white and sticky?
Well I don't know what it was
No I don't know what it was

But my mummy didn't like it
And my daddy didn't like it
And I don't know what it was
No I don't know what it was

But I rather liked it
Yes I rather liked it
So I'm doing it again
Yes I'm doing it again

Something came over me
And if something comes over you
I don't know what it was
No I don't know what it was

And if your mummy doesn't like it
And if your daddy doesn't like it
Then do it anyway
Yes, do, do, do, do, do it anyway
DO IT ANYWAY!!!


God bless Throbbing Gristle.
 
 
unheimlich manoeuvre
21:59 / 10.01.05
No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around me is a total stranger
Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger
Everyone

That's why I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so...


Turning Japanese
The Vapors
 
 
w1rebaby
22:06 / 10.01.05
What is a cyclone ranger, anyway?
 
 
iamus
22:10 / 10.01.05
Bing!
 
 
w1rebaby
22:48 / 10.01.05
"Psyched Lone Ranger" doesn't make much more sense to me really.
 
 
iamus
23:31 / 10.01.05
No. I was thinking that too...
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
03:23 / 11.01.05
Remember kids, "if you leave your penis alone, after a while it leaves you alone."
(c) The Little Book of Sim.
 
 
iamus
04:17 / 11.01.05
Q. Why does the pope wear swimming trunks in the bath?



A. He doesn't like to look down on the unemployed.



I'm hitting a year and a half now. That's as much self imposed as not.
 
 
A
10:45 / 11.01.05
I've heard a cover of Turning Japanese that says "everyone avoids me like a panty sniffer."
 
  
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