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It was the best of gifts, it was the worst of gifts ...

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Whisky Priestess

18:23 / 02.01.05

I'll start.

Best present: A-Team Season 1 on DVD. Heaven in a box.

Worst: Some sort of comedy fridge magnet with the legend "If you want cute, get a puppy!" I suppose it could have been worse, but not much.

18:37 / 02.01.05

A digital cam-corder - lovely, and means that I can prance around making those short films that I meant to make but you know have been busy and just couldn't find the equipment etc etc. Toss up between that and a retro-style 8 lense camera that has a slight delay between each lense opening, so you get a kind of comic strip telling of a photo, really cool, and also it means that if you take a picture of someone then they don't have to freeze a grin on their face while they wait for you to click.

worst - oh, I don't know, they were all pretty good...

19:24 / 02.01.05

Best- I got a very good Argentinian hat, which I love. Also, The Wolves in the Walls - says it's suitable for 6 months+ - but it's some scary shit, I tell you. Wolves in the walls! AAAAAAAAAAh!

The worst were a baby pink mini-skirt which goes round me twice, and a very prim ladies-who-lunch type handbag. Not as bad as the usual worst things; they were pretty mediochre.

Brigade du jour

21:14 / 02.01.05

My friend bought me a Flash Gordon dvd, and it was an even better edition than the one he bought for himself.

Trust me, this is a big deal for him!

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

21:40 / 02.01.05

Which Flash Gordon DVD? The movie from 1980, or one of the serials from the 30's?

"What do you mean, 'Flash Gordon approaching?'"

21:53 / 02.01.05

I was a bit disappointed when I realised that what my mother had bought me was, in fact, a cock ring.
I mean I know she wants grandchildren, she says as much often, perhaps I have let her down. but still...

Brigade du jour

21:56 / 02.01.05

1980 all the way.

"Klytus, I'm boooored ... what plaything can you offer me today?"

"An obscure body in the SK system, your Majesty. Its inhabitants refer to it as the planet ... Earth."

"How peaceful it looks ..."

Ming points his ring malevolently at the screen. Earthquakes, cyclones, hot hail result.
Ming laughs evilly. Klytus joins in (the toad).

"Most effective, your Majesty! Will you destroy this ... Earth?"

"Later! I like to play with things a while ... before annihilation!"

The saddest thing is ... I didn't even have to look it up.

Tryphena Absent

22:34 / 02.01.05

My worst present were these white chocolate drops with meringue and fruit filling. I didn't try them because I hate meringue but the seven other people who nibbled on them said they were absolutely disgusting. And they all like meringue.

01:03 / 03.01.05

At least it's a good sign to the gift-giver if little meringuey things dissapear quickly, unlike a tragic piece of clothing which you feel duty to give a token occasional airing for ever.

01:12 / 03.01.05

One year, my grandmother wrapped up a Christmas-themed box of Kleenex and gave it to my sister. This would be quaint, except Grandma is very much in her right mind (no dimentia, no alzheimer's), and my sister was twenty-five and quite capable of buying her own tissues.

01:23 / 03.01.05

Oh wait! My parents gave me a hole punch. I neither work nor study in any kind of situation which requires one. They just thought I'd like it... Do they perhaps think I'm a little dull?

01:44 / 03.01.05

Got cash from family members to help buy this. I was able to find it much cheaper than the MSRP and now the beauty of high-quality surround sound is available for my PS2 at close to half the cost. Yay.

Worst. Well... not bad, but I got a post-it note holder that sticks to my windshield with a voice recorder. The problem is, I drive my car maybe 4 times a month and I don't want anything in my car that attracts attention. I can just see a bum leaving me a digital thank you as he gets a few zzz's in my back seat.

Lilly Nowhere Late

05:19 / 03.01.05

My 3 year old was given "Wolves in the Walls". I'm introducing it to her slowly as she's just at the age to start saying things "scare" her. I think it's lovely.

My best prezzie:
My worst prezzie:

I can't even think of what I was given at the mo... Nothing very remarkable anyway...

10:32 / 03.01.05

Best: Family Guy Season 3 DVD boxset. Comedy in a box. The kind of comedy you expect to shoot out of your DVD player and kick you in the crotch.

Worst: Some stupid wobbly post-modern sculpture thing that tries to be a digital alarm clock.

To experience this, get your own alarm clock, twist it into a Nike swoosh and WAVEITINFRONTOFYOURFACEREALLYFAST!

10:34 / 03.01.05

Oh and: Dispatch Warlock and Ajax to bring back Flash Gordon's dead body... ALIVE!

10:39 / 03.01.05

I got a plate of cheeses. Not exotic and exciting cheeses, but cheddar, edam and the like. The plate was quite nice though, a black, square, porcelaine affair. Just right for toasted sandwhiches or better yet, crumpets.

This qualifies for both my best and worst present at the same time.

12:49 / 03.01.05

My best present this year (besides the puppy, who doesn't really count as Christmas, since we got him at Thanksgiving) was probably the $500 gift card to the hardware store. I got lots of good stuff, but y'know, cash and gift cards are the bomb.

Worst, I think, was the lacy, sheer negligee, which would have been okay except it was from my husband's grandmother. She got them for all the granddaughters and g.d.'s-in-law. The same nightie, but in different colors. And we all had to unwrap them one at a time, with everyone in the family watching. (*dies*)

Hubby tells me that many years ago, she got all the men in the family thong underwear for Christmas.

Nana is a bit nuts.

15:39 / 03.01.05

best: oh so many. a new 3/4th length leather jacket, which I desperately needed as the ratty and torn black leather trenchcoat was really making me look stuck in the 90s. a copy of Rogan Gosh (so good!), a bicycle for getting around town on, an Airport Express, a set of kitchen knives, a crock pot and a copy of the Extended ROTK DVD.

worst: not really anything. i suppose shampoo, socks and toothpaste in my stocking would be considered lousy by some. but to my broke-ass, they're worth gold.

21:18 / 03.01.05

Best and worst: almost everything I got from my family this year was cash. Which is lovely, in a very practical "now I can upgrade my computer and buy the shoes I really want" kind of way, but also a tad depressing, since it's a definitive sign that not only do they not know me well enough to even take a vague stab at appropriate gifting, but they've also completely given up on trying.

23:31 / 03.01.05

Best: Four new tires.
Worst: America the Book, but only because I already have it.

I hate it hate it hate it when people tell me I'm hard to shop for. This is balls. Boring people and picky people are hard to shop for, I'm interesting and versatile, god damn it, so anyone who can't think of something to get me is just lazy, as far as I'm concerned.

01:26 / 04.01.05

This year my mom sent me a care package of several small gifts.

Best of the lot: A set of Little Dwarf microwave dishes from Japan. Kitschy AND practical!

Worst of the lot: The monarch butterly brooch I gave her last year. I was beginning to worry until she later called to tell me it got into the box by mistake and for me to send it back for her birthday.

13:14 / 04.01.05

Best: Mrs Sax bought me an iPod and I bought her a pair of Jimmy Choos.

Worst: A box of tissues off Mrs Sax's mum and the impending credit card bills.

Jack The Bodiless

20:16 / 04.01.05

Spooks' insane aunt, who has never met me, and to whom I am not at all related, gave me a gorgeous 1995 Austrian white wine. She gave spooks two C90 blank cassette tapes. How... odd.

20:41 / 04.01.05

Best: Being brought back from the dead.

Worst: The insatiable hunger for nummy human flesh.

13:29 / 06.01.05

Best: One was a small carved ivory owl charm my mom had given me that she had had for many years and which I adored. (It is old piece of ivory, BTW, as in Canada, any new ivory artifacts are strictly prohibited). I was also given a gold chain by a dear friend to put the owl on, which was very cool.

Another very wonderful gift, which was more for my son but it made me very happy, was having another little boy for my son to spend Christmas with this year. It was the best gift I received, and I think it was for him too.

Worst: I can't say any of my gifts were bad. It was the best Christmas I had in years.

13:55 / 06.01.05

Not so much best/worst, but funniest:

To my wife D, I gave (among other things) the DVDs of Hero and Kill Bill volume II.

D gave me (among other things) the DVDs of Hero and Kill Bill volume II.

I have loved this woman for twenty years.

My affectionate nickname for her, in recent days, is "Samebrain."

As is hers for me.

Ex

16:04 / 06.01.05

My brother gave me book vouchers! Hurrah!
We've had years of increasingly overstyled, meaninglessly chic exchanges (last year he gave me a thing like an ebony wood Pringles tube) because we know nothing about one another as adults. I welcome this climbdown and look forward to more book vouchers (my gift of choice since 1983) in future years.
What to get him, though? I know he's male - I gave him a Muji toolkit this year, which is practically a ManVoucher...

Whisky Priestess

14:03 / 19.12.06

Right, I'm starting this one up again in time for the festive season gift-giving frenzy. Thanks to Secret Santa, I have already received my worst present ever (and I think that's worst in my life, not just in recent memory).

However, I have also bought some things which I reckon will be, like Baby Bear's porridge, just right. These include:

Throw Your Own Elvis Party box kit for my Elvis-loving sister (contents include Elvis karaoke CD, Elvis trivia game, Elvis facemasks probably). This will come in handy as we are staying in a very remote part of Norfolk over Christmas, where the locals' idea of entertainment almost certainly involves ale, incest and/or sheep. (No offence, like).

Michael Palin's diaries, 1969-79 Rather like anything with the name "Alan Bennett" on the front, an absolutely foolproof gift for anyone's Mum.

There are more, but they cannot be named here for security reasons. Trust me though, they're good.

Anyone else got top/bottom gifts of this or any year?

15:11 / 19.12.06

Oh Secret Santa, isn't there at least some joy to giving appalling gifts? Or haven't I been entering into the "true" spirit of it all?

This year I gave.
The horror, The horror!

Whisky Priestess

15:14 / 19.12.06

Oh my good Lord. I hope they had a sense of humour.

No, alas, I very much fear this Santa was sincere. I'd have preferred what you gave to be honest: at least there would have been a welcome note of the surreal.

15:30 / 19.12.06

I agree I've outdone myself this year but well...it was either that or herbal esctasy and considering that it's a solely work sponsored event I couldn't quite bring myself to buy drugs (however legal).

I don't think they'll be opening it until Wednesday (on the last day of work, however)......humourous I'm not sure... in fact I'm almost frightened.... (there's a usual assortment of sex-toys given but this is particularly naff prezzie).

My worst present ever was a playskool airplane that my sister convinced my parents to buy for me when I was around 12. Oh, how she hated me.

Best: For my birth and for Christmas too, I suppose, a grey toy cat, I love it still.

15:34 / 19.12.06

I got my dad a fetal mummified New Jersey devil gaff for his cabinet of curiousities as well as antique german wild boar tusks. Major score!

Venture Brothers season 1 for the eldest sister and BIL!

A foster elephant for the older nephews and taxidermied mystery (roadkill) hands that have been recruited as protective amulets....

Two wooden roll-y lobster toys for the youngest nephew and niece as well as some sily tiny rawkt-shirts.

I probably should not detail the spouse and dyke wife's gifts as this is not a secure channel....but I hope they dig them!

12:17 / 22.12.06

It was well worth cooking and shopping for three days for our solstice par-tay last night. I think the best gift reaction was to the sticker I gave one of my friends that read "No, you may not squeeze my business." I thought for certain the receipent's mouthful of red wine was going to spray all over me she was laughing so hard.

There's few things I love more than having a house full of my friends all happily feasting and giving each other delightful objects of appreciation. The spouse gave me a huge surprise solstice prize in the form of a very very very soft espresso bean colored robe. I immediately felt like Hugh Hefner and ordered "Dance for me, bitches." Sadly everyone was too busy feeling the ultra plush skin of a thousand muppets fabric to pay any attention.

Another highlight was the catses getting wasted on hydroponic cat-mint their uncle brought over. The spouse seemed to very much like the framed art I bought him and the dyke wife seemed to enjoy the cargo bondage skirt I picked out for her. Turns out she'd been eyeing it in the shop! She was all together too generous getting me a replacement pocket knife identical to the one I lost a few months ago.

Also at the top of the list, cthulhu headed handmade ornaments! Suspended from three pronged fish hooks!

ORA ORA ORA ORAAAA!!

12:38 / 22.12.06

The worst gift I have ever received was a five years out of date right-wing 'comedy' political commentary booklet. I remember very little of it, except for the fact that of the 30 or so pages, about 6 were various riffs on the "don't worry, it's safe!" caption, with pictures of cucumbers or similar, which had been spiked with nails, razors, and used tampons, and, also, crucially, and for the funny, covered in a condom.

With a sticker for a cut-price clearance sale of 50c left on the front cover.

from (semi-distant) relatives who would best be described as millionaires.

I was eleven.

Regrettable Juvenilia

16:12 / 27.12.06

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