Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
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Let ME Give You Sexual Advice

8===>Q: alyn

10:52 / 31.12.04

You're money, Barbelith, but you could be hitting a lot more in the skin department, and I'm here to help. Now, I'm not some highly-trained life coach with a Bentley and a chauffeur and a secret caviar container in my walking stick like some people, who may be very good at what they do even if they have lost touch with the problems of common folks, I'm just a regular Joe Durex. I'm not going to change your life, except in the specific area of fucking. I don't mean to brag, but I've had more than seven sex partners, some of them quite challenging, and I invite you to bathe in the run-off of my experience. If you have a question about the Dirty Deed, I'm almost sure to have the answer.

pointless and uncalled for

11:22 / 31.12.04

If you want to push the envelope a little, so to speak, how far above the recommended psi is it safe to inflate ones substitute partner device?

8===>Q: alyn

11:28 / 31.12.04

It's completely impossible for me to speculate, because despite an exhaustive letter-writing campaign, the Better Business Bureau refuses to standardize the materials & craftsmanship in this vital product industry. You know? So, I don't know where your inflatable device is from, what it's made of, whether it's glued or heat-sealed, or whatnot. I would recommend buying several of your favorite model and testing them out with a bicycle pump.

Seth

12:54 / 31.12.04

I'm killing God in order to produce asexual clones. From my wank-product. The last life coach did nada. Can the competition fare any better?

8===>Q: alyn

16:47 / 31.12.04

I don't see what the problem is, Seth. Kill God, I don't care. Clones are lame, though. You want robots.

This is not sex advice, nor am I a life coach. I'm just a guy who knows a lot about fucking.

Charlie's Horse

04:49 / 01.01.05

'Bathe in the run-off of your experience?' Is that something you used to satisfy one of those seven plus partners? Would you recommend it for general use, or is it a special lil' something you want to keep for yourself?

Not to be dense, but does it involve a real bath tub, or is it just some high fallutin' euphemism?

Harrison Ford, in a battle suit, wheels for feet, knives and guns

11:51 / 05.01.05

How young is to young?

William Sack

11:52 / 05.01.05

I'm familiar with the concept of something being so bad it's good, or so lame it's hip. Can a sex-life be so vanilla it's kinky?

diz

11:58 / 05.01.05

I'm familiar with the concept of something being so bad it's good, or so lame it's hip. Can a sex-life be so vanilla it's kinky?

does it involve fucking through a hole in the sheet?

William Sack

12:09 / 05.01.05

No, a 13.5 tog duvet.

Jub

12:18 / 05.01.05

that's not kinky - anything below 14 is just cold.

8===>Q: alyn

14:29 / 05.01.05

Oh, god, I don't know. I can't hold your goddam hand all the time. Why don't you try to figure this out for yourself, losers?

Tryphena Absent

14:40 / 05.01.05

Why does everyone want to talk about sex all the time? Why I remember when no one ever talked about sex, they talked about blue satin sashes and warm woollen mittens, brown geese that fly with the moon on their wings. You know, their favourite decent things.

w1rebaby

14:44 / 05.01.05

Blue satin sashes?

Ender

04:36 / 06.01.05

I haven’t even thought about geese with the moon on their wings since I was, oh I don’t know, 17 going on 18.

I am rather disturbed by Qalyn calling the barb “money” and then flip flopping to calling its members losers.

8===>Q: alyn

09:19 / 06.01.05

So I'm a flip-flopper, am I? Listen, you redneck bastard, I was working with the losers of Barbelith while you were giggling at death row inmates on some other board, and I have outlined my plan to deal with them from the beginning. Mine is a nuanced position, but there is no contradiction, and the thinking citizens of this board know it.

Vote for Qalyn. A vote for me is a vote for Good.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

09:33 / 06.01.05

Is it voting for Qalyn time again already?
God, it comes round quicker every year...

Ender

23:09 / 07.01.05

Ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here, if you want to be a real thinker you must fall in line with the redirect of the great qUalyn.

Good luck, Q, in your quest for whatever it is you are seeking. Some friendly advice, remember, like it or not, history has shown that the red necked bastards have real voting power.

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