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Suicide Rituals

Sean the frumious Bandersnatch

22:03 / 30.12.04

After a cute case of depression, I'm trying to move on with my life. The problem is, it's hard doing so when my natural instincts seem to be procrastination and apathy. Can suicide rituals help me abandon my current faults?

Don't get me wrong, I like me. I'm one of my favorite people, but my personality has a lot of problems (most of which seem to center around low self-confidence). I've been trying to better myself via the method advised by either Nhat Hanh or Krishnamurti (I don't remember which) of acting to better yourself the instant that you get the urge instead of putting it off to a later date. It works okay, but goes against so much of my current conditioning.

Let me get to the point. I would like to get rid of many of my old habits and be "reborn" with a more confident personality. Can suicide rituals help me out? What are they, exactly, and how are they done? Ritual magic isn't really my thing, but I'm willing to give this a try if it might help.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

11:15 / 31.12.04

Well, suicide rituals take many forms, but they're all designed to create drastic change. If you're not familiar with ritual magick I'd counsel against starting with something like this.

My advice to you would be: Read up, think, write down all the ways in which you want to change, how much change you can fit in at this point in your life, and decide if it's magick you really need.

Grand dramatic gestures are seldom the way to go. There's something very seductive about the idea "Oh, I'll do this one big ol' ritual, after which things will all change and sort themselves out." This is especially true if one suffers from a low sense of self-worth, because the desire to eradicate oneself and begin again is so fierce at times.

If you go down the magick route I'd suggest a lot of little rituals spread over a period of time rather than attempting to do everything all at once.

Skeleton Camera

15:09 / 31.12.04

Even then - if you choose to perform many rituals over an extended period of time - put some thought into that time, and what you'll be doing in the meanwhiles.

Last Autumn-early-Winter I performed a series of rituals designed to effect dramatic personal change. Be warned that "five months" does not count as an "extended period of time." Massive repeated ritualizing in such a short period can, and will, make your life madness.

Not that it didn't work...but it did drive home the sheer power of this stuff.

20:49 / 31.12.04

What MC said. I think it could be useful to have something ritualistic to mark your beginning to take seriously your many small changes, but it doesn't even literally need to be a 'ritual.' Me, I had a really intense birthday celebration, and then I shaved my head. That was all, and it in itself didn't 'do' anything, but it was a way to feel like I was clicking the button on a stopwatch. Everything else came from small, incremental, mundane changes.

20:52 / 31.12.04

I mean 'mundane' in the 'not magickal' sense, btw.

Unconditional Love

06:54 / 01.01.05

each day for the next 6 months paint out your old habits, doesnt matter what it looks like, paint out those feelings.
at the end of six months burn them all, even the ones you feel attached too, if you feel attached to it, still burn it.

gather the ashes if done indoors, take them to a favourite place and let the wind and ground take the ashes.

alternately, and believe me this is harsh,strip every object out of your life you use to define yourself, ie everything you possess especially art that you use for self definition, clothes jewllery c.ds games dvds videos books,etc etc. till all you have is the essentials, wait for a while in emptiness, then begin to build a self again, watch very carefully how you put it together again, the persona you create will be directly your choice, try to not allow others to influence it, see what comes to you, you will have to break contact with others to a large degree, and you will cry out for contact until you get used to it. also you will have to deal with yourself without comfort zones, it worked for me, but its not a place to stay, things grow again in living creatures.

15:26 / 01.01.05

Violence has an immediate and profound effect, visible in the world. As a result, the absence of a possible violent act, whether against others or ourselves, also results in immediate and profound effects. So, at the exact moment where you truly wanted to be dead (not just considering it, but actually were ready to be dead), and then chose instead to be alive, has already changed your world dramatically, powerfully and irrevocably.

Knowing this, bring the next moment, and the next. Whatever happens happens now.