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Just Deserts

 
 
Smoothly
11:29 / 30.12.04
I have a spurious and facile theory that the secret to happiness is getting more than you deserve. By that I mean love, respect, money, power, influence etc. All the good things.

So,
Not getting what you deserve = Unhappy
Getting exactly what you deserve = Content
Getting more than you deserve = Happy

Happily, I think I fall into the last category, with shades of contentment. But I get the impression that lots of people fall into the first.

What about you? In your life, do you think you're getting what you deserve? Or do you feel at all unlucky, under-appreciated, over-looked... Or perhaps making out like a bandit.

What do you reckon?
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
11:59 / 30.12.04
By your scale I'm definitely not getting what I deserve. But then again, what have I done to deserve happiness? Precious little.

Where would you put someone who doesn't deserve more than they get but still isn't happy?

Do I deserve anything?
 
 
Smoothly
12:12 / 30.12.04
See, you don't *deserve* happiness. Happiness is just a side-effect of getting more than you deserve.

Do I deserve anything?

Well, I assume you deserve some things. You go to work, you deserve to get paid. You extend someone a kindness, you deserve to be appreciated for it... etc.

Where would you put someone who doesn't deserve more than they get but still isn't happy?

Content.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
12:28 / 30.12.04
By not happy I meant unhappy.
 
 
Smoothly
12:36 / 30.12.04
You're right. As a model for the human happiness, it's not exactly watertight.

But I do think people vary widely in their assessment of whether they're getting what they deserve. The happiness thing aside (which I was pretty much entirely joking about), I'm still interested to poll where people fall in response to the question 'Are you getting (a) more than, (b) less than, (c) exactly what you deserve out of life?'.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
12:44 / 30.12.04
(a) more than.

I do hardly any work and get paid over the odds for it.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
12:49 / 30.12.04
God's wounds! Use every man after his own desert and who would escape whipping?
 
 
ibis the being
14:25 / 30.12.04
Not getting what you deserve = Unhappy
Getting exactly what you deserve = Content
Getting more than you deserve = Happy


Isn't this what they call an external locus of control? I dunno, I just don't see myself as "getting" things. I have to put some effort into procuring them.

Sorry to be a killjoy if you're just fooling around, but I think you have an awfully strange way of looking at life.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
17:13 / 30.12.04
I'm definitely getting more than I deserve. Except for chocolate. There's never enough chocolate.
 
 
Smoothly
10:03 / 31.12.04
You're not being a killjoy, ibis - that's interesting and relevant.

For the record, my results on some on-line 'locus of control' tests (Rotter etc) seem to come out as pretty firmly internal. Which isn't to say that I don't still have a strange way of looking at life, of course. But I have to say that I don't think I fully understand the dichotomy. I'd have thought that pretty much all broad attributions have internal and external elements. I'd attribute winning a race to a combination of my talent, training, fitness etc (internal), and a dearth of the same in my competitors (external).

I have the same issue with the idea that you only procure things, never 'get' them. Isn't total acquisition normally a combination of the two? Some things come by dint of effort - one's wages, for example. Some things you just get things without having to go to any particular effort procure them: Again, wages - if you're pointless and uncalled for; otherwise gifts, lottery wins, 2nd prize in a beauty contest...
I suppose what I meant by desert is whether your total acquisition was commensurate with effort. Although what desert *is* is an open question, and one I'd be happy to explore. But if we just looked at one's wealth, a person who grafts hard for a minimal wage might feel ze's in desert deficit; a lottery winner will probably count hirself in surplus, I'd have thought.

Maybe I'm missing something. I’m just thinking out-loud.
I think one of the problems I have with both the internal/external locus of control, and the idea of desert generally, is that most things - if not eveything - can be attributed to external control at some point in the chain of events. Are all of one's personal attributes internal by definition? If I were beautiful, would the status and advantages that that often confers be attributable to internal of external loci? Which dis/abilities are internal and which are external?
But, like I say, thinking out-loud. Quite possible that I misunderstand the theory.
 
 
ibis the being
21:08 / 31.12.04
Hm, well, I admit my viewpoint is firmly rooted in my own present circumstances. My wages, since I'm self-employed, are set by me, and so it's hard to see myself as merely "getting" anything in terms of money material possessions - I work, I set a price, and I collect my payment. Then again, I often feel people are unwilling to pay what my work is worth, and so I suppose I have to concede that I do feel I'm getting less than I (as a worker/craftswoman) deserve a lot of the time.

Times have been pretty lean for me in 2004, and I can't say I've gotten anything I didn't bust my ass for (except for Christmas presents, but then, I gave in return). So if you're assuming everyone "deserves" a little more than what they had to actually work or strive for, I must be deficient. But do we deserve that little extra?

I suppose a small but deeply embedded part of me bristles at this whole notion of "deserts" because I was raised in a religion that taught me I deserve nothing at all - nothing, that is, besides eternal suffering in HELL. (Heh.) But that's another big ole can of worms.
 
  
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