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Amsterdammerung

 
 
Triplets
20:49 / 28.12.04
Good Evening, Barbelith!

In the next 10 days me and six of my good (all male, all het) friends will be jetting off to Amsterdam. Land of the danish, prostitutes and moderately priced narcotics. Like Robocop's Detroit without the rampaging cyborgs (aww! sad! ).

A quick search on Archivelith shows that quite a fair few of you scrumpcious raggamuffins have been to Amsterdam over the years and I'd like to pick your brains.

Any tips, hints, tricks, tales of woe, tales of joy, word of warnings and other anecdotal information you'd like to give me?

I'm looking mainly for sound advice. I've already been told to avoid the RLD like the Black Plague after 10pm and my mates in a suprising fit of common sense seem to agree. So, that's covered. Any words of warning regarding the Danish police? I'm a good boy myself but I need to know if there's anything I need to avoid to stop a cutural faux pas here.

Clubs? I need clubbing! What clubs/bars do you recommend in Amsters for seven (lady friendly) 20somethings for their first time over there?

Also, anything else you may wish to add. I will say this, I've NOT put this in the Gathering even though that's more of Barbeliths travel forum, because of the simple fact that none of you are invited. Sorry! Have your people RSVP Holland to my people!
 
 
juan de marcos
21:32 / 28.12.04
Danish????!! You mean Dutch, I presume. [pedantic mode] Dutch: means both language and nationality. Spoken in The Netherlands (from which Nord and South Holland are but provinces), Flanders (northern part of Belgium) and Surinam. [end pedantic mode]
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
02:57 / 29.12.04
You forgot the Netherlands Antilles, of which Dutch is also the official language... Dutch is one of the two official languages of the Netherlands, Frisian being the other.

Annnyway - Triplets, I recommend the Rijksmuseum. It has some great early van Gogh, and Rembrandts - including the portrait of Titus as a monk, a personal favourite.
 
 
Baz Auckland
10:08 / 29.12.04
But caution, as the Rijksmuseum's under renovation until 2008, so you may have to go elsewhere to see it all...
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
10:43 / 29.12.04
Don't smoke skunk.

You will look like a pitiful tourist, inert on the pavement after ordering 'the strongest weed you got' and getting just that. Some strains over there need tolerance, serious tolerance.

Try some fine hash instead! It's really hard to get hold of anywhere else except where it originates from, and you ain't going to Durban or Nepal. And it is a wonderlovely thing when it hasn't been mixed with old vinyl acetate and juggernaut tyres.

Yes, Nepalese. Very fine smoke indeed, indeed. And no tobacco! Very British. Like mixing Cristal with Guiness. Use a pipe or hubbly bubbly.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
10:46 / 29.12.04
After that go to any of the wonderful museums and arthouses dotted around the place (see above), or take a canal trip.

Or visit a sex show, whatever floats your boat.
 
 
Smoothly
11:16 / 29.12.04
Just to say that, unless you're very delicate indeed, I don't see why you should avoid the red light district at night. You really won't find anything there that you won't find on a provincial high-street at the same hour. It's perhaps a little crowded, but I wouldn't bypass it for any other reason.

If I were to suggest you avoid anything it would be the coffeeshops that don't give you cause for a moment's doubt that they're coffeeshops. As a rule of thumb, you'll find a more conducive atmosphere for a mellow smoke if you walk away from the sound of Bob Marley, and towards the smell of coffee.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
12:08 / 29.12.04
Smoothly's right about the Red Light District, I'd have said. It's nowhere near as full-on as the Patpong and last time we stayed in A'dam, our hotel was just off it. Got no hassle, as long as you don't go looking for trouble.

There's also a big police station bang in the middle of Warmoesstraat, so there's a regular presence to minimise any bad behaviour of the non-sexual kind. Just apply the same rules you would in a busy British high street - keep your valuables safe etc. 99% of passers-by do just that, and pass by, gawping.

Of course, if you've a mind to visit the very professional ladies displaying themselves in their brightly lit windows, unlike myself, there may be further challenges to face. Handy police pamphlet we were handed last time advised "Remember: not all the ladies may be ladies". But, Hell, it's Amsterdam. All adds to the general merriment.

The coffee shops echo the range of British pubs, so just wander in and feel the vibe before deciding where to plank yourself down and roll up a big doob. Amsterdam architecture tends towards vertically stacked narrow, small rooms, connected by winding little staircases, so just getting somewhere to fit your arse in might be the main determining factor.

It's good advice to avoid the hardcore stuff at the top of the menu, unless you're a heavy smoker back home. Otherwise days might pass before you find your feet and can go safely into the world again without risking Death by Canal.

The Greenhouse chain of coffee shops are smartly decorated and and a bit more upmarket than some of the ones at the rougher end of the market. If the weather's not too miserable, it's good to find one with tables outside, by a canal. Then you can while away several pleasant hours grinning inanely at pedestrians and watching the trees grow and the clouds roll over. And you won't be deafened by the tapeloop of Steppenwolf's Greatest Hits.

As others have said, the Rijksmuseum has some great stuff, and lots of it, and the Stedelijk's near it, where all the Van Gogh is. The Anne Frank House is worth a trip but go early in the day or there will be a thousand tourists crammed into the tiny rooms with you. Usually a thought-provoking exhibit on the ground floor too, highlighting human rights concerns around the world.

There's lots of Blackpoolesque stuff like the Sex Museum to titter at, though the Hash Museum is more worthy of your time. We had lists of cultural activities to perform, itemised by an anal friend, but generally managed one touristy thing every other day. Set out several times to visit the zoo and finally got there about four days later. Boat trip along the canals is also fun.

If you go too early in the day to a coffee shop, or build up too aggressive a stash back in your hotel room, you'll find the days ease splendidly by without any activity at all apart from toilet visits, gazing into space, and hunting for a Vlaamse Frites stall for a cone of magnificent chips and mayo.

Amsterdam's a small, easily walkable, place. After some initial orienteering, you can usually get anywhere you want on foot and find your way back.

Spend most our time in the gloriously seedy gay bars and clubs when we're there, so can't offer any advice about straight clubs.

Have fun. And don't bother to take a Danish phrase book.
 
 
bjacques
14:24 / 29.12.04
"My hovercraft is filled with eels"

I live here. I'm not big on clubs, since the music is basically crap in the better known ones. Big venues like Paradiso and Melkweg (both on the Liedseplein) which also have live acts, have decent club nights. Pick up an Amsterdam Weekly (plug--my ex is the arts/music editor) for info.

Seconding the ixnay on the utchday eedway. The last few decades the freelance agronomists have been pushing the THC content up to about 15% so it's really speedy and not fun. Go with hash or Thai stick or one of those legendary non-Dutch weeds.

Belgian beer is better than Dutch beer, for the most part. Notable are the 8-10% beers from A'dam-based Brouwerij het IJ, available in some bars. The best vlaams frites are at Vlaminckx, just off the Heilige Weg between the Kalverstraat and the Koningsplein (look it up), and opposite an old gate with a carving of Lady Amsterdam whipping a couple of manacled criminals (it was the gate to the men's reformatory/workhouse).

The usual meat markets are the Three Sisters oirish mega-pubs. The food's ok. One's on the Leidseplein and the other is on the Rembrandtplein.
 
 
Triplets
20:15 / 30.12.04
Thanks to you all for the great advice. I'm printing out copies of this thread before we go and having them revise on the flight. After which they WILL be tested. Special thanks to Xoc for that huge Lonely Planet thing above. Great stuff. When I'm walking round Amsterdam I'll be thinking of bearded, mayonaise-chip eating gay men, you can be sure.

Anyone like to add anything else? Pubs/clubs you've seen/heard of and turned out to be booze filled awesomeness?

I can see myself and my Taekwondo partner checking out some of the cultural sights [he's buggering off to the beer factory at some point]. Any other Amsterdam unique places to visit?

Should I stay clear of the sex shops? What exactly can I get away with bringing back overseas?
 
 
Bear
20:53 / 30.12.04
I didn't go to any clubs I'm afraid but if your looking for a cafe I'd go for De Kuil if you spot it - it was great at the time and probably is really great, huge reefers and a mircrscope and a dog - good prices.

But then I only went for 1 or 2 nights last minute sort of last minute thing but this thread has made me want to go again.
 
 
uncle retrospective
21:28 / 30.12.04
Just to say it again, if smoking weed, go for the mild stuff. As the guy behind the counter, they tend to give good advice.
Check out some of the markets, I got a nice second hand leather jacket for €20 (which works out at about 25p).

The RLD is fun to wonder around but if your hitting the mushrooms it can get a bit much.

Have fun.
 
  
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