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Smoothly's right about the Red Light District, I'd have said. It's nowhere near as full-on as the Patpong and last time we stayed in A'dam, our hotel was just off it. Got no hassle, as long as you don't go looking for trouble.
There's also a big police station bang in the middle of Warmoesstraat, so there's a regular presence to minimise any bad behaviour of the non-sexual kind. Just apply the same rules you would in a busy British high street - keep your valuables safe etc. 99% of passers-by do just that, and pass by, gawping.
Of course, if you've a mind to visit the very professional ladies displaying themselves in their brightly lit windows, unlike myself, there may be further challenges to face. Handy police pamphlet we were handed last time advised "Remember: not all the ladies may be ladies". But, Hell, it's Amsterdam. All adds to the general merriment.
The coffee shops echo the range of British pubs, so just wander in and feel the vibe before deciding where to plank yourself down and roll up a big doob. Amsterdam architecture tends towards vertically stacked narrow, small rooms, connected by winding little staircases, so just getting somewhere to fit your arse in might be the main determining factor.
It's good advice to avoid the hardcore stuff at the top of the menu, unless you're a heavy smoker back home. Otherwise days might pass before you find your feet and can go safely into the world again without risking Death by Canal.
The Greenhouse chain of coffee shops are smartly decorated and and a bit more upmarket than some of the ones at the rougher end of the market. If the weather's not too miserable, it's good to find one with tables outside, by a canal. Then you can while away several pleasant hours grinning inanely at pedestrians and watching the trees grow and the clouds roll over. And you won't be deafened by the tapeloop of Steppenwolf's Greatest Hits.
As others have said, the Rijksmuseum has some great stuff, and lots of it, and the Stedelijk's near it, where all the Van Gogh is. The Anne Frank House is worth a trip but go early in the day or there will be a thousand tourists crammed into the tiny rooms with you. Usually a thought-provoking exhibit on the ground floor too, highlighting human rights concerns around the world.
There's lots of Blackpoolesque stuff like the Sex Museum to titter at, though the Hash Museum is more worthy of your time. We had lists of cultural activities to perform, itemised by an anal friend, but generally managed one touristy thing every other day. Set out several times to visit the zoo and finally got there about four days later. Boat trip along the canals is also fun.
If you go too early in the day to a coffee shop, or build up too aggressive a stash back in your hotel room, you'll find the days ease splendidly by without any activity at all apart from toilet visits, gazing into space, and hunting for a Vlaamse Frites stall for a cone of magnificent chips and mayo.
Amsterdam's a small, easily walkable, place. After some initial orienteering, you can usually get anywhere you want on foot and find your way back.
Spend most our time in the gloriously seedy gay bars and clubs when we're there, so can't offer any advice about straight clubs.
Have fun. And don't bother to take a Danish phrase book. |
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