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TracK Santa with my boy and I. And all the warmongers of the world.

20:48 / 22.12.04

My son and I are all set to track Santa. (That's Father Christmas to anyone who speaks proper English.)

Yay!

Yay!

But...hang on...no...wait...

It's NORAD that's tracking him. That's NORAD and not the very pretty NORADsanta, which is a completely different site.

WTF has Santa done? Why are NORAD tracking him?

NORAD say that this is why. Uhuh. How sweet. And I'm the Queen of Sheba.

hello, FUCKING GREAT BIG publicity stunt.

Oh...

But maybe I'm being a bit unfair. It's sweet right? It's in the Christmas spirit right? it doesn't matter that NORAD is the defence tracking system for Canada and the USA, because they're tracking the lovely Santa!

Bless.

Bless.

Bless their itching for a big scrap, little cotton socks.

21:53 / 22.12.04

But I thought Santa was a multi-dimensional traveller, they shouldn't BE ABLE to track the bloody looney!

22:00 / 22.12.04

Ahh lovely... its obvious that a military org. can't do anything nice without having an ulterior motive. (By the way..that was sarcasm, if you didnt notice)

Some of my fondest christmas memories would begin with the watching of the news on christmas eve waiting for them to say "Norad has announced that Santa Claus has just left the North Pole" and other things like that.
"Norad reported that two of its cf-18s were told to change their flightplans as their paths may interfere with Santa's journey". When you're a kid of 5 or 6 you live for moments like that.

WTF has Santa done? Why are NORAD tracking him? Its NORAD, not the bloody gestapo, get a freekin clue.

22:03 / 22.12.04

Is it a 99 Red Balloons kinda thing? Could Santa precipitate global war by setting off nuclear defence systems? That beard does look a bit Islamic/terrorist, y'know - and those packages could be WMDs in wrapping paper...

22:32 / 22.12.04

Well to be fair, it's not as if he's allowed international weapons inspectors into his 'toy factory' or any part of the North Pole complex. We only have his word that he is a pacifist who only produces small gift items. We have no clue as to his motivation. I mean, come on, does anybody actually swallow that line about him being an altruist who gives presents to the children of the world out of the goodness of his heart. Where's the money coming from? Every year we allow this flood of cheap goods into our markets from a production base founded upon the slave labour of the elves.

I'm not saying that military intervention is inevitable, but the indiginous elf population has been systematically disenfranchised. When was the last time that he faced an internal political challenger or received a democratic mandate from the people of the Arctic region? The Santa regime takes no part in international relations, refuses to allow embassies in its territories, has never contributed financially to the U.N., has not ratified Kyoto, the Test Ban Treaty or any international agreement for that matter and I can find no record of them signing a cease-fire after WWII. It is a rogue state, outwith NAFTA, the E.U. and even the Free Trade zone. Answerable to no-one, 'Father' Christmas is a freakish dictator with no respect for the community of nation states. Frankly, all unelected leaders with beards need watching.

Plus I hear that there may be oil under the Pole...

23:38 / 22.12.04

Well to be fair, it's not as if he's allowed international weapons inspectors into his 'toy factory' or any part of the North Pole complex. We only have his word that he is a pacifist who only produces small gift items. We have no clue as to his motivation.

This is the problem with this whole issue. The U.N. haven't even brought this up in debate so a vote hasn't even been started yet. This 'Santa' is flying around, given free reign over international airspace all over the world and no one is raising the issue at all.

This is a very sensitive problem. Nerves are frayed, security has been breached worldwide, and for what? Happiness? Good will? Mince pies?

This is a scandal, an outrage, a risk to wordwide peace.

Roll on 1984. The Illuminati, the Lizardmen, the greys, MIB's, Dubya, Tony and the Archons have their full weight behind this and don't be fooled into thinking otherwise.

And let me just point out before I finish this post : This isn't even including the 'spy camera' inserted into the sleigh theory that's been doing the rounds in conspiracy circles and the 'chipped beard' fiasco.

Disgrace. Shambles. This has been rigged from the outset. I say get rid of him and more money to the corporatio.....erm, I mean, more erm, more money to the poor and the homeless.

23:49 / 22.12.04

Mind you, a friend of a friend who knows a cleaner in the M.O.D. says that the C.I.A. are leaving a very special mince pie out for him this year. Never worked for Castro, but you never know.

Has anyone looked into the Air traffic control issues of an unlit sleigh streaking through commercial flight paths at magical speeds without filing flight plans with the relevant authorities? Surely a collision is only a matter of time.

Plus, how has Santa managed to infiltrate department stores worldwide with an army of lookalikes? How can this be anything but a security risk of the highest order? He could be anywhere. It's always the genocially inclined who go in for those assassination-spoofing clone armies.

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring except for the jack-booted horde of jolly, fat men...

17:00 / 23.12.04

Ah. So they can track a little reindeer sleigh, but have a few airliners go completely off course and it's a different story... Nice, that.

Anyway, have you seen The Polar Express? Hordes of little goose-stepping elves in uniform. Heil Santa! He must be stopped.

17:16 / 23.12.04

Is it a 99 Red Balloons kinda thing? Could Santa precipitate global war by setting off nuclear defence systems?

Actually I think the opposite is more likely. This has been a trasition for 50 years, right? That information must by now have filtered down into every single terrorist network in the world. I think we can expect a bonanza of plane hi-jackings, rogue-nation-nukes and other attempts to exploit this flaw in the security system.
No matter what they send, the people at the radar screens will think it's just Santa. That is, if they are not to busy aswering calls from little Tommy to even look at the screens.
And on top of that, what better time to strike than in the hollidays. Striking fear in the hearts of all. Not even Christmas is sacred anymore.

I tell you, there will be no happy newyear this time around: because there will be no one left to have a happy newyear.

17:50 / 23.12.04

Has anyone looked into the Air traffic control issues of an unlit sleigh streaking through commercial flight paths at magical speeds without filing flight plans with the relevant authorities? Surely a collision is only a matter of time. [emphasis mine]

Uh, hello?? What do you mean, "unlit"?

~L