"Abstract" is supposed to mean that it communicates something effectively without relying on figurative representations.

Er, isn't it? An art teacher told me that, but she could've been full of horseshit.

the Fool

02:25 / 07.12.04

I think it need a little more 'stuff' to hold it together...

Jack Fear

11:24 / 07.12.04

"Abstract" is supposed to mean that it communicates something effectively without relying on figurative representations.

That's kinda what I thought, too, except thatr the piece linked above (a) is composed entirely of figurative representations, and (b) doesn't really communicate anything effectively.

Unless, of course, the point of the piece is that cities are, y'know, dangerous, violent places. But that message is a wash in this piece, frankly. Because (at the risk of going all NRA on you) I must point out the obvious truth that, y'know, skyscrapers don't shoot people.

Unless they're part of a city-as-living-battlesuit construct, Jack Hawksmoor-stylee. That would be cool. You should do a picture of that.

Grey Area

12:52 / 07.12.04

Maybe you should try adding some texture to the guns, similar in nature to the skyscrapers. The difference in style between the major elements is a bit too big, in my opinion.

Those 'hands' let the piece down. You've got rigidly linear design elements (the skyscrapers, the logo) and then you throw in these stunted cartoony hands...it just feels wrong. Perhaps do away with them, make the guns bigger (might work if you textured the guns)?

The logo looks good, but is lost in the middle. Maybe make it larger? That way you increase the contrast between the textured skyscrapers and the simplicity of the logo's lines.

What are you trying to say with this piece? Brutal honesty: Right now it looks like something thrown together in Photoshop because you found a cool skyscraper and gun graphic and wanted to play around with the eraser and colour replace tools.

the Fool

20:13 / 08.12.04

I'm gunna do a remix and post it later today

agvvv

09:32 / 09.12.04

Ahh..no.. youll put me to shame..

Jack Fear

11:51 / 09.12.04

I'm gunna do a remix and post it later today

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH NO!! First rule of useful criticism, kids—the artist doesn't need you to show hir what you would do: s/he needs you to tell hir what s/he has just done..

the Fool

02:22 / 10.12.04

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH NO!! First rule of useful criticism, kids—the artist doesn't need you to show hir what you would do: s/he needs you to tell hir what s/he has just done..

Well, remix isn't really criticism in the traditional sense. Its more like dialogue. A remix can be remixed and so forth. It can encourage exploration, experimentation. But its also fun. I love doing remixes.

Come down to Australian Infront for more remixing and more design critique

but I know what ya mean Jack. Alas I'd banged the below out before I read yur post.

They are just simple remixes. Feel free to pull them apart and remix as you wish.

agvvv

15:41 / 10.12.04

I like them fool.. very good.. and I think remixing is a form of c&c that can teach you alot..

TeN

01:02 / 11.12.04

well, i think the fool's remix helped me to crystalize the issues i have with the original - not enough color, not enough variety, not enough "action," and too much empty space. Also - the hand around the gun looks funny. Maybe you intended it to look like a claw? But it doesn't look right. Make it a normal hand, and make it look good.

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15:24 / 11.12.04

the Fool, I like the first one best, I'd make some changes though (sorry if this seems like I'm picking this apart a bit too much, I'm just trying to explain what I'd add personally) :

I think I'd take the first red line out of the top of the picture, then I'd also change the hands like TeN suggested, and make the connection look wavy instead of the claw like aspect. Then finally I'd put some more of those symbols that are in the very center onto the bottom thick red line, in some type of bright colours.

Ahhh, if only I could do this myself, but my photoshop knowledge is very, very limited.

Still, they look good, and I'm jealous. (which spurs me on to do things myself, so it's good.)

added > > > actually, I'd maybe keep the top red line, but make it as thin as the next one down, and so that it doesn't touch any of the buildings. Did I mention I'm jealous? (I know I did, I just have to say it again.)

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15:32 / 11.12.04

Woopsadayzy :

tron, I like the original too. What I'd change here would be to make every building have colour, top and bottom, then put those colours into the building parts of each hand on either side. Then finally, colour the symbols in in the center and add a few onto each gun.

I like it though, there's something I can't really explain about it but I really like it. Maybe the Japanese vibe I get from it and the colours.

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