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Did this really happen?

Sax

11:38 / 30.11.04

When I was a wee shaver it was widely accepted as the truth among my playground compadres that the big slobbering St Bernard which accompanied rotund showman Bernie Winters on his picaresque entertainment adventures was, in fact, Schnorbitz Two, and that some years previously Schnorbitz One had been kidnapped and tied to a railway line, where he met a lonely and ignominious death. Given that Schnorbitz replaced Winters' brother Mike in Bernie's affections, there was some obvious speculation with regard to the identity of the dog-napper.

Having googled my query, I find no mention of it whatsoever. Can it possibly be that this was a highly localised urban myth, which would be strange since my school in the north of England had no connections that I know of with Mr Winters.

Anyone shed any light on this?

Hattie's Kitchen

11:58 / 30.11.04

Fucking hell, I heard that too! I have no idea whether it's true or not, but I can't imagine Schnorbitz v.1 surviving for so long as part of Bernie Winters' act. There must have been a Schnorbitz v.2.

Schnorbitz...*huggles*

_Boboss

12:12 / 30.11.04

i have no idea on this one i'm afraid. i have however heard from more than one source that ken dodd's dad's dog's dead. is this relevant?

Benny the Ball

12:19 / 30.11.04

Are you attempting to make a 'did he' 'no doddy' joke? If so, are you my dad?

I heard that Bernie Winters didn't treat one of the Schnorbitz dogs too well, but this goes with the multiple dog angle. Maybe Bernie didn't like S v.2.0 because he missed the old boy?

_Boboss

12:23 / 30.11.04

no, we're dealing with two separate ken dodd-based jokes. well, the first one is more of a tongue-twister than a joke, but it does make the world more fun by its presence.

question two: yes i am, and your mum's chucking a shit-fit at some of the things she's seen you writing on here.

Benny the Ball

12:34 / 30.11.04

Come on Dad, you as well as I know, she's an open minded gal.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

16:13 / 30.11.04

Open everything gal judging by what I read on the toilet walls.

Ah, mum jokes. Never tiresome.

betty woo

19:05 / 02.12.04

A friend of mine has decided that the concept of American tourists who sew Canadian flags on their backpacks while travelling is an urban myth, since he personally has never met anyone who will admit to such behaviour.

So... can anyone give me a specific instance of this happening? Or is it really an urban legend?

grant

00:49 / 03.12.04

Hmm. Once while traveling we told the staff at a kinda smarmy Balinese restaurant that our Mexican compadre was actually from Belize. That's not really the same thing (although they did actually impress the hell out of me by producing a miniature Belizean flag to stick next to his plate, alongside the American flag by mine).

I've heard the same story, but it's strictly FOAF.

(For urban legend newbies, that's "Friend Of A Friend," the typical story source that distinguishes the urban legend from interesting anecdote.)

On the other hand, during the waning years of apartheid, I know from relatives that "red books*" were highly prized -- those being Republic of Ireland passports. Traveling as a South African was apparently really difficult, especially to places filled with uppity darkies like the Bahamas. The well-appointed white devil, therefore, passed as Irish whenever possible.

* or were they green?

Lord Morgue

05:28 / 03.12.04

My favourite U.L. of the moment, displacing the Humming Cactus full of Tiger Striped Tarantulas, is New York White, an apocryphical strain of ultra-potent ganja only found in New York sewers, a result of stash being flushed during raids, grown powerful beyond belief, nourished by raw sewerage, bleached bone white by the permanent darkness, and jealously guarded by giant albino alligators.
Complete B.S., but soooo Robert Anton Wilson!

■

16:38 / 03.12.04

Y'know, that Schnorbitz story rang a bell with me, even though I'd never knowingly heard it before. Just remembered why. Think back to that Young Ones episode where Planer and Mayall dress up as American singers playing golf? What's the song they sing?
"I'm tying my dog to the railroad track,
choo-choo train's gonna break his back....
Wonder if they'd heard it?

bjacques

17:47 / 03.12.04

I've never heard any legend like this. The subway alligators is an old one--Thomas Pyncho uses it in V.--but the pot (I heard it as Subway Silver) is a new wrinkle on it.

Snopes.com (named after the white-trash family in William Faulkner's novels) is your friend. I just used it to debunk the "NASA spends a million to develop a space pen while the Russkies just use a pencil" story. A pencil in space is a bad idea, BTW, because if it breaks, the graphite could float around and short some contacts.

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