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All I want for Christmas...[PICS]

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04:22 / 24.11.04

It's about time Santa got off his fat butt and actually paid attention to you, your needs, your desires...Why is it always about him, huh? Him and and those late nights with his elves. Him and his buddy Rudolph, who doesn't actually work for Santa but takes so much of the credit. Meanwhile, Donner, Dasher, Dancer, Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Prancer and Vixen, work their collective asses off! Most of the year Santa is out of work and can't pay the elves!

It is about time he gave you something, and more than just once a year, dammit! No more unwanted gifts he bought secretly to use himself...or delicate under-things that will only fit his mistress! Stick it to Santa! Make him PAY!

Make your demands here!

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

04:23 / 24.11.04

I want either to kiss a girl or to get the Complete Star Trek DVD collection. I know I can't have both, since they are mutually exclusive.

05:08 / 24.11.04

I forgot to add what I want.

I gotta have:

-Definately one of these!

-About 26 cases of Châteauneuf-du-Pape

-A sumo suit for "before and after" pictures

-A billards table.

-Wings...Need I say more?

-Wonder Women's truth-telling lasso.

-More superpowers. Such as, the ability to enlighten morons with a simple word, or a boot to the head for the ubermorons.

-My own private Idaho

-A tennis bracelet...and a golf bracelet, a football bracelet, and a hockey bracelet.

-A cornucopia of art supplies.

-The coolest lace-up, patent leather, thigh high boots on earth.

-A personal masseur/masseuse. One with strong hands that is not afraid of hurting me.

That will be all for now. I am sure I will come up with more.

BTW: This is not a thread for altruism. We all want "Peace on Earth". Well, most of us, anyway.

07:49 / 24.11.04

I want a big A-Team van.

I want something by Paul Smith. Anything. Even a coat-hanger.

I want everyone to go out and buy my book.

I want to meet Haus for a pint, God help me.

I want to be able to sing.

I want a new laptop with a DVD re-writer.

I want Mrs Sax to like the Jimmy Choos I've bought her.

I want the new Sax Junior to come along pretty quickly, and to be healthy and safe and all that stuff.

I want Santa to empty his bulging sack under my tree and provide me with all of the above.

Haus of Mystery

09:36 / 24.11.04

I want never gets.

I DEMAND, however, always gets.

Hence I demand a super8 camera and nowt else.

VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering

10:10 / 24.11.04

I want a small and totally insane Half-Lebanese girl who lives THOUSANDS of miles away, and who would probably drive me to Suicide within HOURS of meeting her.

I ALWAYS wanted her.

Boag understands.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:22 / 24.11.04

I want a shedload of puppies.

I suppose I should probably ask for a shed as well.

13:48 / 24.11.04

-Definately one of these!

BarbeLillith, that commercial is the ABSOLUTE SHIT!
It has renewed my faith in humanity.

I want:

-A golden palomino named Blaze (C'mon! I've waited 20 years already!)

-80 acres of forest to ride in.

-a 5 lb. bar of dark chocolate

-a dancing robot car (but I want mine in red!)

-a big painting studio with plenty of natural lighting

-a digital camera with 8X optical zoom

-a trip to Barcelona

-more time to do fun stuff

14:10 / 24.11.04

One of my threads to last for more than 5 posts.

And a Jack Russel called Max.

14:20 / 24.11.04

I want a digital camera because it would really be so much easier & better to take pics of my work with.

I want a portable digital music player of some kind because I can't afford CD's very often and I do a lot of portable-listening.

I want a dooooog. Really badly. And I guess I should also wish for my landlady's permission to have a dog.

I want the courage to tell off my mom. Is that too UnChristmasy?

Ex

14:41 / 24.11.04

Some kind of membership deal with the local pet shop, so I can play with the mice without having to pretend I'm considering buying a mouse. The petty weekly deceit is coroding my soul. Possibly platinum membership, where I also toy with kittens.

A new shirt in which I look devastatingly handsome, even when covered in mouse piss.

15:08 / 24.11.04

I want people to remember my birthday. Which is EXACTLY ONE MONTH FROM TODAY. That's on Christmas Eve. I will be 30.

I also really want subscriptions to BUST and Juxtapoz magazines as they are impossible to find in London and they're about the only magazines I actually like.

15:18 / 24.11.04

That advert is messing with my head. I don't want a car at all, and yet now I want to buy what is, really, quite a plain old car just because of the advert. Whoever came up with that ad should be showered with riches and praise.

If I can't have a robot-car, I want to stop work for a while and stare out of the window at snow.

Then, after a wee while lazing about and sleeping in, I want to start a job that I like.

I want some green and blacks chocolate.

And that's about it! Easy pleased.

01:23 / 26.11.04

BarbeLillith, you rocks! The Sumo suit is just the thing i am looking for!

02:02 / 26.11.04

...and yet now I want to buy what is, really, quite a plain old car...

[tongue="cheek"]

Plain old car? What?
You mean it doesn't actually do that?

[/tongue]

Tryphena Absent

11:15 / 26.11.04

Chie bloody Mihara boots and a really involving computer game so I can annoy Mr. Championship Manager as much as he's been annoying me.

Goodness Gracious Meme

12:43 / 26.11.04

'I want' is sounding pretty good to me. Nice work, May.

I want

- the Hotel Chocolat Ultimate Christmas Hamper

- a crate of Champagne, preferally Bolly.

- a money tree, to tend, and make cuttings for my friends

- an air ticket to Antigua

- new superpower: superenergybooost!

ONLY NICE THINGS

14:06 / 26.11.04

a really involving computer game so I can annoy Mr. Championship Manager as much as he's been annoying me.

I need a karma klenser, klearly...

Entering as I am that difficult time where I really should be deciding what I ought to be, I have instead found myself pondering what I ought to *buy*...

Current list for Santa:

Digital camcorder (brand as yet undetermined)
Bespoke suit (Number of possibles - am liking the David Saxby route...)
Hat (From James Lock, probably - style as yet uncertain)
Series of John Smedley jumpers (so *soft*)
Pair of Junk de Luxe trousers.
New PC (Something with Socket 939 and PCI Express - AMD 64, decent graphics card, and enough hard drive space for a Windows/Linux dual boot)
New laptop (either Powerbook or Toshiba Tecra, probably - haven't quite worked out what I want it for yet)
DAB digital radio (One of the Wayne Hemmingway ones which can record onto an SD card...)
Hi-Fi
New fencing kit
New shoes - work (Grensons, I imagine)
New shoes - informal
New shoes - gym
DVD player (time to bow to the inevitable)...
New copy of Liddell and Scott's Greek-English Lexicon

That, I suspect, is enough to be going on with...

Oh, and socks.

And a holiday. Long one. In Norway.

Regrettable Juvenilia

16:36 / 26.11.04

- a money tree, to tend, and make cuttings for my friends

Gah! That reminds me:

- Gary Oldman's hollowed-out skull as a pot to keep my pens in.

Matthew Fluxington

16:52 / 26.11.04

15:19 / 27.11.04

[Image Broken]

Donkey Konga!

solid~liquid onwards

19:02 / 28.11.04

ive had to think aboutthis today cos my parents phoned and asked me.

1) LED rainbow staff for funky spinning http://www.firetoys.co.uk/cgi-bin/acatalog/Glo_Staffs.html

2) some stuff from skye batiks. ive got a few shirts and a wall hanging. I e-mailed them to see if they'd do any custom stuff for me. theyres some stuff on their site but they make so many differnet designs so i might just drive out there if they cant do custom stuff for me
http://www.skyebatiks.com.

Ive been looking at some fetish style clothing... i dont think i'll ask santa for that.

solid~liquid onwards

19:12 / 28.11.04

SANTA! I WANT SOME LIQUID LATEX!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

19:23 / 28.11.04

BTW: This is not a thread for altruism. We all want "Peace on Earth". Well, most of us, anyway.

How about if I ask for "Peace on Earth"... but I want it ALL FOR MYSELF???????????

YES. I want ALL the peace on Earth. Every bit of it. And once I have all the peace on Earth I shall...

Well, I'll probably calm down a bit. Maybe have a bit of a nap. YES!!!

FEAR ME AND MY PEACE MONOPOLY!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

19:24 / 28.11.04

Can I have some monkeys too?

Or would that be a bit cheeky?

19:48 / 28.11.04

Peace and monkeys are mutually exclusive unfortunately. It's all that jumping and screeching you see.

20:01 / 28.11.04

I don't believe that peace and monkeys can co-exist, Stoatie.

20:33 / 28.11.04

Entering as I am that difficult time where I really should be deciding what I ought to be

Dude, deep down, you know the answer to that - as Father Christmas would say, *You need to be yourself/You can't be no one else.*
So the DVD of the tenth anniversary is would what I'd be dropping off chez Haus, were I Santa this year.

Gary Oldman's hollowed-out skull as a pot to keep my pens in

Although if I was St Nick, I suppose I'd possibly be wondering about that one - I dare say a list of reasons might get a sympathetic reading at the usual North Pole address.

Can I have some monkey's too ?

It's not too much to ask for, is it ? Everyone ought to wake up on Xmas morning with orang-utangs, chimps and ring-tailed lemurs all over the shop, and for those who'd been especially *good* during the year, a silver-backed gorilla hiding round the back of the tree.

This year though, I hav transcend all material things, and am spirtual been what lives on high astral plane with 5-D entities with which I fly around once I hav had 2 bottles of Benylin, and I will probably get socks.

Goodness Gracious Meme

22:34 / 28.11.04

- a money tree, to tend, and make cuttings for my friends

Gah! That reminds me:

- Gary Oldman's hollowed-out skull as a pot to keep my pens in.

Why does it remind you?

Haus, you're sure you haven't forgotten anything? The keys to Harry Potters Gringotts safe? The Aga Khan's chequebook?

I also want a teleport machine. But my parents don't think it's likely, bloody spoilsports.

23:50 / 28.11.04

I want the 1970s BBC Hamlet on DVD. Featuring a performance by Lalla Ward which has become legendary for its complete awfulness. Must see for myself. Also starring Patrick Stewart, with frizzly curly hair. '70s Hamlet with scifi stars and frightwigs. Could be perfect for boxing day.

23:52 / 28.11.04

And a motorbike. Motorbikes rock. If I had a motorbike, I’d rock too.

Goodness Gracious Meme

00:12 / 29.11.04

Oh, and just to make my 'gringotts vault' comments even more utterly hypocritical, I now want a case of the wonderful Rioja I was drinking this evening.

Didn't bother to write the name down, as I'm sure it's way out of my price range, but was a Rioja Classic from 2001.

And was just mmm-mmmmm.

That's Christmas cheer in my world.

04:17 / 29.11.04

[Image of 2005 Corvette broken]

And one of these for when I need something more practical:
[Image of GTO broken]

You see, I'm very easy to buy for.

Regrettable Juvenilia

11:27 / 29.11.04

Have you not seen the Oldman/Sutherland "money tree" adverts, GGM? You lucky thing. They almost top Oldman's last advert atrocity ("Thank you, Mr Oldman." "Thank you.") for sheer awfulness.

ONLY NICE THINGS

11:42 / 29.11.04

Haus, you're sure you haven't forgotten anything? The keys to Harry Potters Gringotts safe? The Aga Khan's chequebook?

Well, actually, I quite fancy an HDD music player... maybe an iPod... maybe an iMac to go with it...

But you mistake me. Lots of the things I want are *pricey*, but none of them are *remunerative*. Quite the reverse. If you're suggesting that I am all about the wanting shiny stuff, then... well, yeah. Guilty as charged...

Since my family have cancelled Christmas, I'm going to have to buy these things for myself if I want them, which I think would make my head explode.

Then I would have no head.

Which would at least mean a saving on hats.

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