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Self-Improvement Books

 
  

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Smoothly
00:09 / 10.11.04
This in the Onion reminded me of something I've been meaning to ask: Are there any good self-improvement books?
I know that there are lots of them and that they're pretty popular, and I need as much improvement as the next chap, but I've never so much as picked one up. I don't mean things like Alan Carr so much as the How To Get What You Want And Want What You Get sort (is that a real book, btw?). An old colleague said good things about 'What Colour Is Your Parachute?' (I think), and had that kind of dreamy, changed-life look about her when she said it. Although I think that one might be about changing careers or something.
Are they all so site specific? Could someone recommend a good, first-line-of-attack, broad-spectrum Smoothly Improver?
Or are they all a load of old toss?
 
 
Lord Morgue
07:31 / 10.11.04
Dr. Maxwell Maltz's "Psycho-Cybernetics". Alexander Technique and Feldenkrais Method have similar ideas, but you have to dig deep into the literature or find a gifted teacher to find them. J. Krishnamurti and U.G. Krishnamurti have some good things to say on the matter, too.
 
 
William Sack
14:22 / 10.11.04
Smoothly, I like to think of myself as something of an expert on self-help books despite the fact that I have yet to read one. I can't recommend anything specific, but one tip for you: if it hasn't got a colon in the title it's not worth reading.
 
 
Smoothly
20:14 / 10.11.04
Thanks boys.

So, this:




And perhaps this:




What's good about Psycho-Cybernetics, Morgue? I've never heard of it.

I have read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. I think that considers itself to be a self-help book, but it didn't make me feel any the wiser. Although maybe that's because there isn't a colon in the title (unless you count M'ars).

Any others?
 
 
Lord Morgue
06:06 / 11.11.04
Weeeel, it's been a long time since I read the books, but I like the idea of lasting change enabled by changing fundamental issues of self-image, as opposed to empty Coueism, which forms the basis for 90% of the motivational crap out there. Language has too many limitations as a tool for change. Sometimes you gotta dig deeper to get the meat...
 
 
Persephone
14:19 / 11.11.04
Ahhh, I really like self-help books. I've written this elsewhere, I like them & I feel at the same time that I have to explain that I am actually intelligent. I'll try to keep this short. Self-help books, in a sense, are like pret a porter as opposed to haute couture, which I guess is therapy in this analogy. So imagine that you can't afford to go to the House of Dior & get fitted for the season, you're like the shopgirl who has to make do with what's on the rack. I don't regard any self-help book as a finished artifact. It's something to be taken apart and put back together into something that works for me.

I personally have gotten a lot out of Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, but the first thing I had to do was ignore practically everything that he had to say about the seven habits. I got a lot out of The Artist's Way; and I can tell you about the pitfalls therein, if you want. I pretty much like Martha Beck's The Joy Diet with little reservation. Like, those would be my top three.
 
 
lekvar
23:08 / 11.11.04
Has anybody read Rich Dad/Poor Dad? A lot of people place it next to Seven Habits as required reading. The little I know about it simultaneously offends my liberal heart and intrigues my empty pocket book.
 
 
iconoplast
16:45 / 12.11.04
Does Alcoholics Anonymous count?
 
 
unheimlich manoeuvre
21:59 / 12.11.04
the only self-help book I've recommended is Awareness by Anthony De Mello. it's no "spiritual kick to the head" more a "reality check".
 
 
Lord Morgue
06:14 / 13.11.04
I've always preferred "The Seven Habits of highly Effective Pirates".
 
 
Persephone
09:45 / 13.11.04
I had an idea for a book called The Seven Deadly Sins Of Highly Effective People. I wrote part of it.
 
 
imaginary mice
22:54 / 13.11.04
I’ve read a few self-help books this year (about avoidant personality disorder, social anxiety & shyness and low self-esteem) - can't say they've helped me much but at least they've occasionally made me laugh:

"Some potential partners prefer people with emotional difficulties because they view them as less bland and ordinary than people without them."

“You may find it helpful to keep pen and paper beside you, and draw up your own vicious circle as you go through the chapter.” (Yes! Fun! Drawing my own vicious circle!)
 
 
pomegranate
18:29 / 15.11.04
i quite liked finding your north star, by martha beck. i recommend it. of course, my life is much the same as before i read it, but, you know, ~while~ i was reading it, i was all, like, happy and excited and stuff. yeah.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
15:33 / 16.11.04
I read Rich Dad,Poor Dad, on loan from one of my many siblimgs.

What a crock of offensive, specious shit.

Do a bit of |Googe on the Author (can't even remember) and there is PAGES of vitriol and condemnation. I mean, the guys a charlatan of the lowest order.

Now Anthony Robbins, on the other hand....Ultimate Power!
 
 
Harhoo
13:31 / 25.11.04
Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway is the only self help book anybody I know has ever read, and it got a cautious recommendation. The loose precis I heard of it certainly didn't make it sound objectionable, though generally when these things are boiled down to a soundbite I tend to hit a "well, duh" wall pretty quickly.
 
 
solid~liquid onwards
20:18 / 28.11.04
try downloading some self help from win mx (or similar), and theres some inspirational stuff that isnt self help. I have self help audio for every occasion... its more i sorta collect it and analyse it, than use it.

Wayne Dyer is about the best ive got, hes done loadsa stuff over the years, i did some of his stuff. Hes a master of mental manipulation through speech. His guided meditaions are also very good. hes seems more new agey actually trying to improve people rather than money grabbing mad person.

Download some alan watts too. hes a famous philosopher, who translated a lot of eastern stuff in the 60's and 70's to do with buddhism, zen and hinduism. he'll give you some different angles to look at things. He has a lovely voice too.
 
 
Liger Null
22:39 / 28.11.04
I got a lot out of How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. If you can overlook the thirties-era chauvinism, there's a lot of solid, common sense advice in there.
 
 
invisible_al
17:18 / 09.12.04
Well if you want to get more organised, the guy behind 43 Folders recommends Getting Things Done by David Allen, which is a sort of zen of organsation I've heard. There's also the new Mind Hacks book by Matt Webb and Tom Stafford, It's full of little ideas on hw to hack your head into working better using cognitive neuroscience and sells itself as having 'cheat codes' to your head. I'm going to pick this one up after Christmas to see what it's like.

Oh I found this essay called Hack Yourself recently, it struck a chord, might do for you.
 
 
TeN
01:25 / 10.12.04
I've heard good things about these two:

Astonish Yourself!: 101 Experiments in the Philosophy of Everyday Life, by Roger-Pol Droit

and...

This Book Will Change Your Life: 365 Daily Instructions for Hysterical Living, by Benrik
 
 
Seth
08:37 / 10.12.04
I'm currently blatting my way through The Road Less Travelled, which I really like. The best things about these books is not that they impart secret wisdom, but the way in which they systematise what we already know.

I'm deeply suspicious of any book that sells itself as "manual of your mind" or as providing you cheat or hack codes. What a lot of nonsense. I mean, I'm both a Master NLP Practitioner and supposedly some sort of magician, and can honestly say that there is absolutely no substitute for hard work and feeling like shit occasionally. Fuck off quick fixes.
 
 
Squirmelia
08:40 / 10.12.04
I've read 101 things, and I did enjoy it. I'm not sure I'd count it as a self-help book, more a "things to do when you're bored" kind of book, but with explanations of why you should do them. It has things such as:

Eat blue food
Go to the circus
Fear the arrival of the bus
 
 
Squirmelia
08:43 / 10.12.04
(By "101 things", I meant 101 Experiments in the Philosophy of Everyday Life, by Roger-Pol Droit)

We should make our own list of things to do!
 
 
TeN
03:46 / 11.12.04
Squirmelia - I haven't even read the book yet, but when I saw it on amazon, the first idea that popped into my head was "I should make our own list of things to do!" I couldn't stop thinking of things for the rest of the night. I have a list, so I'll post it tomorrow. Make a thread for it if you want. If not, I'll make one.
 
 
Perfect Tommy
03:03 / 25.12.04
My personal favorite is How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci by Michael Gelb. Practical exercises and principles which have vastly improved my ability to live as though my life were both a scientific experiment and a artistic endeavor at once.
 
 
illmatic
21:25 / 25.12.04
Could you give us more a description of it Tommy? Sounds really good.

I'm currently reading "Waking Up" by para-psychologist Charles T Tart. I don't know if it's really self-help, but very nearly. Self-development maybe. It's actually a condensation of everything he got out of the Gudjieff "Work" so very useeful if you are interested in that area. I'm not 100% sold on all his models but I still think it's really useful, if you have an appreciation for his/Gurdjieff's cental metaphor of "sleep". I'd recommend it to anyone.
 
 
illmatic
12:07 / 26.12.04
I'd add that I think there is a huge similarlity between occult literature and self-helpstuff, particulary modern occult lit, I'd imagine because of the marketing men. People will never tire of wanting to be different from what they are. Perhaos occulture appeals to people with a moe romantic/unstable streak, and self-help is for those who haven't got time for that icky spiritual stuff, or want to put their slef-development/delusion on a rational sounding bais.

And like occult lit, you get out what you put in. If you really commit you'll benefit, I think. It's the commitment that's important I think (echoing Seth).
 
 
Dosis
14:26 / 26.12.04
I don't consider this to be really in the line of traditional self help books, but have a look at "listen, little man", by W. Reich, focused on the origin and causality of the 'everyday mundane'. It's pretty cool, and marxist as well (dunno if you think that's good or bad, tho).
 
 
Perfect Tommy
23:42 / 28.12.04
Well, the author claims that da Vinci stuck to seven major principles:

Curiosità—An insatiably curious approach to life and an unrelenting quest for continuous learning.

Dimostrazione—A commitment to test knowledge through experience, persistence, and a willingness to learn from mistakes.

Sensazione—The continual refinement of the senses, especially sight, as means to enliven experience.

Sfumato (literally "Going up in Smoke")—A willingness to embrace ambiguity, paradox, and uncertainty.

Arte/Scienza—The development of the balance between science and art, logic and imagination. "Whole-brain" thinking.

Corporalita—The cultivation of grace, ambidexterity, fitness, and poise.

Connessione—A recognition of and appreciation for the interconnectedness of all things and phenomena. Systems thinking.

Each chapter is devoted to one of the principles, and has some exercises to develop the use thereof. Personally, I felt that the main benefit was that the book cured me of 'masterpiece syndrome,' and allowed me to just haphazardly record and create whatever I want, in whatever field I want, whether I'm schooled in that field or not. Leonardo's notebooks contain anatomy sketches next to mathematical ideas next to vocabulary words next to grocery lists—I now have one notebook that has whatever I want in it, and that has been surprisingly good for me.
 
 
Joetheneophyte
13:10 / 12.01.05
I have just ordered Psycho Cyberetics by Maxwell Maltz and would be VERY interested in anybodies' experience of this (according to Amazon) very well rated book
 
 
Joetheneophyte
17:42 / 30.01.05
I have just read Psycho Cybernetics and I must say, Richard Bandler must be aware of this book or there is definately some truth that great ideas are just waiting to be born

The book is a NLP book before the term NLP was coined or even thought of. I was impressed with the writing. To date I haven't really put into practice what I have read but the book definately pre-dates and is similar to later works by Richard Bandler, John Grinder and Robert Dilts

Maltz doesn't use NLP terminology but his work is definately similar to some of the NLP ideas and unless my second (ergo, great ideas are just waiting to be born or re-discovered) scenario is true, Bandler et al must have been aware of these ideas.
For example, Robert Dilts, the NLP practitioner whose work impresses me the most has a theory of 're-imprinting'.......in his work he mentions the work of Konrad Lorenz and how that at susceptible times, the mammalian brain is pre-disposed to periods of Imprint vulnerabiltiy where IF an idea is impressed, it is deeply encoded and very hard to change. Dr Ernest Rossi and Dr David Cheek detailed this even more thoroughly in 'Mind Body Therapy'

Maltz doesn't go into the same detail but he does mention how when adrenalin is released, the mammal is similarly susceptible to a level of Imprinting deeper than conditioning.

Where I have a hard time accepting Malz (though he does suggest we forego critical or analytical thought and just 'go for it' for a period of 21 days) is in the same area I have a hard time accepting all of NLP

In respect that:

He suggests that changing our mental image and acting 'as if' the wanted change has already transpired, is programming the sub/un conscious towards success.

I FULLY ACCEPT THAT THIS MIGHT BE AND IS MORE THAN LIKELY THE RESULT OF MY OWN NEGATIVE BELIEFS AND I DO DISLIKE THE HARD WORK INHERENT IN CHANGING MY OWN MIND SO I AM THE LAST PERSON TO OFFER AN OBJECTIVE VIEW. TOO MANY PRIOR FAILIURES EXIST FOR ME TO HOLD OUT TOO MUCH HOPE


I enjoyed the book and I am trying even half heartedly to follow the instructions. Another book of similar content that I bought is 'The Master Key' by Charles F Haanel

as if to back up my earlier (and second assertion) that all great discoveries are either just waiting to happen (something Maltz himself admits) or are re-discoveries, Maltz himslef has either been directly influenced by Haanel or one of his followers .....or an even earlier source

again great book. Pure positive thinking hokum but with a sincerity and purity that contemporary books fail to exemplify

The proof is in the pudding and so I cannot say but I would be interested to hear other peoples' experience of either Maltzs' work or that of Charles F Haanel
 
 
Seth
07:34 / 02.02.05
Bandler and Grinder may well be aware of Psycho Cybernetics: they've certainly cribbed the Law of Requisite Variety directly from the cybernetics field.

Nowhere near enough self-help books have anything to do with how experience is connected to physiology. You can attempt to change your mind all you like, but often habitual patterns of being are hidden outside of awareness in our muscles and posture. NLP itself is better than most disciplines when it comes to looking at this, but it doesn't have nearly enough of a toolkit.

Does anyone know of any good ones which cover this area? I have books by Reich and Lowen on order, BTW.
 
 
Joetheneophyte
16:14 / 02.02.05
Lowen's work is far more accessible than Reichs' in my opinion

read a couple of his and his warmth is infectious

Reich is more scientific and you can tell that he was feeling a little persecuted (and rightly so) as he can come accross a little defensive but in my humble and admittedly layperson opinion, he was incredibly clever and insightful.
It is obvious that Reich inspired Gestalt, Primal Scream and a myriad of other therapies that involve breathing and non verbal communication/body work
 
 
illmatic
10:52 / 03.02.05
I'd agree with that but I'd add Reich has a lot more depth than Lowen. If you read a few of his books, you get drawn into his intellectual journey. He doesn't avoid uncomfortable conclusions either (cf. all the work on orgone energy). Love to know what you think of 'em when you read 'em, Seth.
 
 
Simplist
20:19 / 05.02.05
Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now certainly deserves a mention here. Tolle is a formerly obscure Canadian spiritual teacher who rocketed to prominence when his self-published book was discovered and promoted by, yes, Oprah... Despite that perhaps off-putting recommendation/association, this is an unusually worthwhile (and useful) book for its genre--in fact I can hardly recommend it highly enough.
 
 
eco
17:23 / 11.02.05
The Seth series of books by 60's author Jane Roberts has sometimes been attributed as the precursor to the whole "New Age" movement. "The Unknown Reality" series is excitingly near to a fusion of modern-day quantum theory with spiritual/psychological issues. Whether one believes that she did actually "channel" the information from an entity called Seth or not is irrelevant. The material stands on its own.

Ultimately all self-help books can only ever advise and encourage you to discover and challenge yourself. Far better to immerse yourself in a group directed at active self-improvement, generally through group and ritual work.
I find memorising Masonic ritual to be the best form of self-improvement as the lessons slowly start to sink into my psyche.
 
  

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