The problem is that nobody wants to isolate you. You're a helluva nice people - you just seem to have gone totally nutso and elected that sockpuppet again.
the problem with that is that there are two of us. it's not that we're basically nice and we occasionally go nuts. we're like a couple locked in an abusive relationship, and the way you folks handle the "special relationship" means you're as nice to the abuser as you are to the abused.
from my perspective, Blue America is the battered wife, and Red America is her brutish husband. Britain is the charming, sympathetic neighbor who never seems to get the clue that he needs to call the cops. it's like you show up on the doorstep, and the hubby says "everything's fine! thanks for coming over!" and the wife has a black eye and keeps silently mouthing "help me! help me!" and you just smile and wave and go back to your house. then when the other neighbors (like the French and the Germans) come to you and say "that Red America is crazy. he's trying to take over the neighborhood, and look at how he treats his wife! let's band together to protect ourselves!" you say "oh, no, those Americans are such a nice couple. you just don't understand them like i do. we have a special relationship!" and nothing gets done. it's frustrating.
Trouble is, I think many people truly believe that all Americans really like them/respect their opinions/can even point to Britain on a map. We’re continually told this.
that's largely true. however, in large parts of the country, that good feeling is entirely conditional upon your continuing to suck up. half the country is genuinely fond of you and takes your opinion seriously. the other half would have turned on you like a rabid wolverine if Blair had joined Chirac and Schroeder in opposing the invasion of Iraq. blue America is largely home to friendly internationalists. red America is a mess of xenophobic nationalist bigots, who distrust and either hate or pity foreigners, but happen to like you because you speak English and you always do what you're told. the instant you stopped doing what you were told, you would be crucified.
not only are you aiding and abetting people who are trying to destroy liberal America, you're also providing them with a fig leaf that allows them to pretend they're not xenophobes. they don't really hate foreigners for being foreigners, they just hate the "crazy" and/or "corrupt" and/or "evil" foreigners. they like the "sane" (read: obedient) ones, like the British. why can't the rest of the world be as "sane" as those nice British people?
it's kind of like the evangelical Christians and Israel. they still think that Jews who don't accept Jesus as their personal lord and savior are damned to hell, but Israel is part of their End Times scenario, so they're all sweetness and light. they're not anti-Semites you see, they fully support God's Chosen People ... until Jesus comes back, at which point it will become "convert or die," and who knows when enough Christians will become convinced that we've entered that phase.
a lot of this is the residue of the Cold War. entire generations of Americans grew up believing that an apocalyptic war with the Satanic forces of Communism was looming inevitably on the horizon, and that we were destined to lead the forces of good against the Evil Empire. all our interactions with the world have been filtered through that lens. this belief got intertwined with apocalyptic dispensational theology and the internal American culture war to such a degree that, in the hearts of many Americans, the one and only question that matters with regard to foreign relations with a given country is this: "will they follow us into battle as part of the forces of the Risen Christ at the End of Time?"
if the answer is anything less than an unconditional "yes," that nation can never be fully trusted, can never be more than a temporary ally of convenience. France is the ideal example. they pretend to to be our friends, but they're really a soft, decadent people, who surrender to evil rather than fighting it and indulge their hedonistic impulses. at best, they're all weak liberal sophisticates, at worst, they're communists or perverted fags.
now even internationalist Americans like Kerry are anti-military (fake Purple Hearts, peace protestor), sexually dubious (the "metrosexual" flap on FOXNews, soft on gay marriage), liberal (from Massachusetts), unreliable (flip-flopper), anti-Christian (not really a Catholic), and, ultimately, treasonous (French-loving, the "global test"). they are not people you can count on to join the radiant battalions of the Lord in the battle of Armageddon.
that's not an exaggeration. a huge number Americans think like this. they think that God is going to come down and draw a line between the sheep and the goats, and then both sides will go to war, and the people on their side will be saved and the people on the other side will be cast into the lake of fire. the only issue of consequence is what side you will be on when the line is drawn.
these people are fucking crazy and we're stuck in here with them. the fact that you maintain the special relationship without concern for which one of us you're talking to makes it really difficult for us. |
